This has thus far been the hardest part of the trip. The place I was most excited to see of anywhere in the country, has been the place where I have most felt like I just need to pack up and move on.
Perhaps its the fact that I hadn't seen the sun since I entered east texas that is getting to me, but I get bad vibes from the Memphis area oddly enough. Maybe it is the memories of when met Jim Carrey here six years ago that haunt me.
Today I really wanted to be with my mother for Mother's Day. I really feel like I need to be a better son to her. She of course wants me to call her everyday. That is a bit much for me, but, she gave me life and lots of support, I only hope I can make this one up to her.
Tonight I was going to watch a band play in downtown Memphis called the Dempsey's. The greatest rockabilly band I have ever seen. This is my one chance to see them. However, its sunday, I know that if I walked in that cafe where they are playing, I would then truley be alone. Its hard enough as it is right now. I don't need that, the memories I have of the band will have to be enough for me.
I went to the singles branch of church a little out of town. I was recognized by a couple of fellow byu students as "the Johnny Cash guy". I told my situation to the priesthood brethren asking for a place to stay, (I didn't want to where out my welcome at the last place, besides, it may not have been the best place for a Mormon boy). Not only was I given a great place to stay with a couple of really nice and hospitibul guys, but I also got a connection to the morning show host of the number one radio station in Memphis.
I got words with the radio host Mr. Tew, and he said, "This is as bad as I have ever seen it. The radio business is shriveling up. I have just watched some very talented and experienced men lose their jobs. This is the worst time. Plus this market doesn't pay well. (which is actually what the voice of the Memphis Grizzlies told me as well). You might want to think of another profession." Hearing that after all I have worked for, for so many years is hard, but I knew what was ahead of me when I took this trip. I bought the land, I will accept the Indians. I told him, "I know, I have heard that for several months, and in person for nearly three weeks almost daily. But if I'm going out, I am going out swinging." He replied with, "I like you're attitude, I think you may actually find your way, I got a hunch." We left it at that.
Today I felt something I have never felt before on this trip. Fear. I felt real humility and heartache. This is the first time thus far I have felt the need to dig down and really motivate myself to keep on going strong. But this is what I wanted, to be tested. Unfortunately for me, I have never really been that tested to find a job. I have gotten every job I have ever had with absolute ease. Managing Jackie Greene, CBS Radio, Guitar Instructor, News Director, these are incredible jobs that I didn't deserve but I found my way into for some reason. I am deciding to give Memphis one more day, to see Sun Studio and maybe Graceland and really push my way into the door in radio and T.V.
Like I told the host of the Country morning show, and like Gene Groupa said to Benny Goodman at the carnegie hall, "If I'm going out, I'm going out swinging."
scripture: 1st Nephi 2: 4
Perhaps its the fact that I hadn't seen the sun since I entered east texas that is getting to me, but I get bad vibes from the Memphis area oddly enough. Maybe it is the memories of when met Jim Carrey here six years ago that haunt me.
Today I really wanted to be with my mother for Mother's Day. I really feel like I need to be a better son to her. She of course wants me to call her everyday. That is a bit much for me, but, she gave me life and lots of support, I only hope I can make this one up to her.
Tonight I was going to watch a band play in downtown Memphis called the Dempsey's. The greatest rockabilly band I have ever seen. This is my one chance to see them. However, its sunday, I know that if I walked in that cafe where they are playing, I would then truley be alone. Its hard enough as it is right now. I don't need that, the memories I have of the band will have to be enough for me.
I went to the singles branch of church a little out of town. I was recognized by a couple of fellow byu students as "the Johnny Cash guy". I told my situation to the priesthood brethren asking for a place to stay, (I didn't want to where out my welcome at the last place, besides, it may not have been the best place for a Mormon boy). Not only was I given a great place to stay with a couple of really nice and hospitibul guys, but I also got a connection to the morning show host of the number one radio station in Memphis.
I got words with the radio host Mr. Tew, and he said, "This is as bad as I have ever seen it. The radio business is shriveling up. I have just watched some very talented and experienced men lose their jobs. This is the worst time. Plus this market doesn't pay well. (which is actually what the voice of the Memphis Grizzlies told me as well). You might want to think of another profession." Hearing that after all I have worked for, for so many years is hard, but I knew what was ahead of me when I took this trip. I bought the land, I will accept the Indians. I told him, "I know, I have heard that for several months, and in person for nearly three weeks almost daily. But if I'm going out, I am going out swinging." He replied with, "I like you're attitude, I think you may actually find your way, I got a hunch." We left it at that.
Today I felt something I have never felt before on this trip. Fear. I felt real humility and heartache. This is the first time thus far I have felt the need to dig down and really motivate myself to keep on going strong. But this is what I wanted, to be tested. Unfortunately for me, I have never really been that tested to find a job. I have gotten every job I have ever had with absolute ease. Managing Jackie Greene, CBS Radio, Guitar Instructor, News Director, these are incredible jobs that I didn't deserve but I found my way into for some reason. I am deciding to give Memphis one more day, to see Sun Studio and maybe Graceland and really push my way into the door in radio and T.V.
Like I told the host of the Country morning show, and like Gene Groupa said to Benny Goodman at the carnegie hall, "If I'm going out, I'm going out swinging."
scripture: 1st Nephi 2: 4
Heya-
ReplyDeleteI got your message tonight and hopefully will remember to call you back tomorrow morning. SORRY!! I've been uber-stressed (suprised?), but I've been harassing my younger siblings to find my mission box and get Max's number.
But I am thinking that Max's place is pretty hard to find, and you need four-wheel drive to get back in his holler this time of year-- you may just want to stay with my WML from my last area. I think you'd really hit it off with him, and he could give you some great advice about business. Let me know what you think-- hopefully we'll talk in a few hours or so!
Just remember, if you are going to go down swinging, that you are swinging for Triggaman too. By the way, I'm going to go San Fran tonight to watch Randy Johnson pitch, the Big Unit.
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