I left Fort Worth reluctantly, I had a good time with McKenzie and her family and I really liked Fort Worth. To tell you the truth, I had no real interest in Dallas.
Dallas was the only definative appointment I have and will have this whole trip. One of my dear friends Jarrod got married and he wanted me to D.J. the wedding reception. I used to be a professional DJ, I didn't really like it that much, only on the occasion when I had a friend with me. But I used to do weddings for my friends all the time for free. It seemed like a good idea until every friend I knew got married and called me up. I vowed some where along the way I would never do that again, but, it was Jarrod, who knows if I ever get to see him again. Besides, if I don't land a job soon enough, I may be trying to go back to being a DJ for some cash.
But Jarrod and Sarah looked so happy, I have known those two for a while and I know they will make it. Jarrod is very loyal to her and unselfish. He listens to her, I guess thats really the key, and what it takes to be a man. I only hope to be close to as good as a husband as I suspect he will be.
I spent most of the day with Jarrod's family and friends. I really got along well with them, I had a great time. They made me feel at home right away.
At some point I was trapped in cars where serious discussions of politics surrounded me. Being a Californian in Texas, you can only imagine how that went for me. Thats one thing I will have to get used to if I live in Texas. I chose the high road and didn't say a word, I just listened, besides, what do I know about politics, much less the politcians.
Also you can imagined many discussions of love and relationships were also discussed. Once again, a discussion I can be uncomfortable with, for completely different reasons. Everyone has the all encompassing answer. And they are all different from one another. Everyone is an expert, based entirely on their few sucess or failure stories. I guess that also somewhere in the back of mind as well. When I see these small towns that I consider as a place to live, am I going to be able to find someone there? What am I doing all this for? Is it for me, or is it for my future family? Where is that balance of what is important?
I could ask advice and recieve advice from just about anyone, but nothing they say can matter. not even words of gentle encouragement. Its all white noise now. I guess only I could figure out my way. The only thing I want more than to be a professional broadcaster is a professional husband. Its this thought that makes this journey often times difficult.
But I have found the endless highways, to be a great place for me to think and ask questions to the one person to whom I can fully trust. The Road has become my Fortress of Solitude or sacred grove. I guess there was some truth to the miscellaneous thought that, this trip is not about the finish line, its about the journey. I would hate to make a corny story of self discovery, but I guess that is what a Vision Quest is, an ultimate finding on personal enlightenment. Because at some point, you have to find your way.
Henry B. Eyring once said, "the Gospel of Jesus Christ is set up so that we embrace change." ....roughly
scripture: Alma 12:9
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