Two and half Weeks Later

Much hasn't really happened since I last reported. My routine has been, e-mailing resumes everywhere that may be hiring and almost never hearing back. I am still at it everyday. But it may require more patience than I can muster up.

I haven't done anything really fun. I watched a movie at the cheap theatre by myself and that is it. I have read two books, Kindness of Strangers, and Into the Wild. Travels with Charley, is next. I plan on reading a big handful of traveling books to make sure that my book doesn't overlap too much information and discovery. I am pretty sure at this point that my story is still very unique and potentially comparable to poignancy. Should I learn how to write. 

Sacramento hasn't felt like home anymore. I grew up here, I have always loved it here. But I don't know how much more of it I can take. It feels the wrong place for me. 

My parents left my bedroom the way I left it when I moved out so many years ago. All my CD's in a huge storage shelf. My childhood comic books out for display on a rack. My rock n' roll paraphanelia out and about. My guitars and amplifiers out. It all made me sick. I packed all the speakers, CD's, Paraphanelia, and comics into boxes to be donated, sold or given away. I even cut my clothing load into about a third. I don't want things I don't need anymore. 

I have gotten already three offers to resurrect my Johnny Cash Tribute band "Cash Only." only to be turned down or told "Maybe". I don't really have much of an interest in music anymore. I gave it the best I could, but at the end of the day, it wasn't in the cards. And unfortunately, I cannot EAT dreams. People always tell me NOT to give up on dreams. But I almost want to curse them for that. Look where I am now. 28, no job, living with my parents. I have always shunned and scoffed at the existance of NO-RISK cubicle jobs. Now, I am actively seeking after them. I can't help and wonder if these are the same humbling feelings everyone else gets when they decide to grow up and lay off the dream about being a cowboy or an astronaut. But most people have their dreams shattered before they are old enough to live those mistakes I suppose. 

I have spent some time at the Local LDS temple, trying to sort out my goals and make sure they are in line with my eternal wishes. I don't know if they are or not, but I am certainly trying. I am not particularly happy with my situation and I know that is normal. If home life with the parents was so great, nobody would move out. My parents would have me stay the rest of my life if they could get away with it. But recently I am heavily considering moving somewhere in a trailer by the desert. There I can write my book and get my peace. The only places I ever seem to have peace are on the road, the desert and in church. I know that I can't get a paid position in church, they really don't exist. I can possibly be a truck driver, or maybe work at a home depot and write while I am not working. 

Lately I have been heavily considering becoming a writer. I have craved writing ever since I came off the trip. I miss blogging. I don't know how I lived without it. Once again, I changed my focus. I don't care to be a reporter, or maybe even a radio jock anymore. Maybe rock n' roll radio was just my way of making sure that  I never grew up. Just to prove to everyone that I can do anything I put my mind to. Ironically, everyone I know believes in me now. But I don't know what i can do. My will to carry on may be admirable. But it may be the death of me. 

i haven't given up hope, I don't know that I ever can. That may be my problem. I never give up. Even when it is absurd. But I am trying to figure things out. My soul search didn't end when I got back. Unfortunately it amplified. Maybe my road trip wasn't long enough. We will see. But writing the story seems like a happy thought to me. It really helps me get the perspective. So I do have that to look forward to. I think if I write the book, I can possibly get what I was looking for in the end. 

One week Later song: Champion - Oleander

I am back in my Hometown of Sacramento. I have kept a pretty low profile in the past week. I have been watching my friends house and his pets for the last week in a town called Roseville.

To remind some of you of what "A Letter To Bob Dylan" was all about, here is a rundown on the Adventure. Bob Dylan wrote his song "Like a Rollingstone" where he hypothetically asks what would you do with all your freedom when it is granted. To be on your own like a rollingstone, with no direction home, like a complete unknown.
I simply wanted to answer that question to Bob Dylan. After I graduated from college in early April, I immediately took to the open road traveling for what was set out to be 40 days, which turned into 74 days. Being that I have no Job, No woman or no responsibility, I wanted to live with nothing to lose. I wanted see America, I wanted see things, and deal with my fears and most importantly... I wanted to find a home. So the whole time I was hand delivering resumes all across the nation looking for someone to hire me in Radio or TV. Preferably radio. Hoping that maybe employment would guide me to where home is. Being that radio as a nation seemed to be on huge hiring freeze, I knew this would take some real luck and being at the right place at the right time.

To let you know how the job search went. I don't know yet. I have a few bites here and there. I have a bite "Maybe" in Amarillo, Kalamazoo, and hopefully Santa Barbara. I had a few other job offers to do things that are completely different. And I had a potential offer to work on a reality show in Phoenix.
I can't tell if any of them are my dream job or something to get me started up in radio again. Hopefully something of my hard work in dropping off around 130 resumes in person will pay off. But its a possibility, nothing will come from it. I will keep in contact with those I met and see if anything opens, but, I cannot garauntee anything will.

I Came off this trip feeling a little unfinished, and a little discouraged. I had all the help in the world, and I still didn't find what I set out to do. But, then my friend Stephanie suggested I go back and re-read my blogs. So when I read them.... I felt like I was reading someone elses journey. I couldn't believe how much joy and courage I felt. I didn't know what I and so many people were capable of. I had the greatest trip imaginable. I didn't know I had so much endurance in me.

People ask me all the time if it was worth it. Did I find what I was looking for? And the truth is...No. I didn't find my home, I didn't find my job. But, I faced my fears, and I found something much greater than what I imagined. I found YOU. The people. You were the greatest part of my trip. Yes, I got to see Elvis's home, Highway 1, Chicago Blues, Statue of Liberty and everything else In the U.S. that I have ever wanted to see. But non of that stuff I wanted to see mattered in the slightest, when I wasn't with someone. It could have been an old friend or a stranger. I spent time with some amazing individuals across this nation. People who just took the time to help a stranger out. People who took me in their office and looked at my resume and offered their time and advice. People who showed me around the city and told me stories about its culture. People who gave me a place to stay and often times food to eat. People who just shared moments with me that were invaluable.
You see, the United States of America, is a beautiful land. Its dramatic, its got everything under the sun. Its got great history, and monuments. But all that means very little without you. You are what makes this country great. I really found out that people are not inherently selfish and out for themselves. There are people in Every nook and cranny in this country who would give you the shirt off their backs if you needed it. I learned many things while driving the endless highway. I learned many things from the museums. But when I see the passions that drive so many people, and the heart that makes them give a stranger or an old friend so much help, I am humbled. What I found in this nation is that there is a lot more worth fighting for than I ever could have imagined. The U.S. I saw has an incredible history of endurance. It also has a history that is seedy and questionable at the least. But that doesn't matter, its because their are people who generally want to help eachother out and see others who give it their all succeed. That is what makes the land great.

I will keep at it looking for a job in radio..... for a while. And I may not get it. And thats ok. I died standing up, I went out swinging. I will have tried as hard as I could. And besides, Radio is not the most important thing. Family is. More important to me than myself is my future family. To be a good provider. To be someone who can help out others, the way they helped me. I want to be the guy who will be able to let you into my home and to help you find what you are looking for. And make your experience here in America, one that YOU will never forget.

scripture:Psalms 4:5-8

Day 74 San Francisco/Sacramento song: 4th of July - Shooter Jennings

Morning led me to San Francisco, where the ocean is familiar. Growing up so close to the Bay area, I would think that I would have spent more time there. Its really been years since I went there and did anything touristy in the slightest. This day I went into the pier 39 and saw how much bigger it seems now. More cool stuff and more advanced street performers. I saw China town. Its really the only china town in America I like. I thought all the rest of them suck. Most importantly though, I made into the Jazz festival. Right on filmore street they were holding a jazz festival. Whats more American than that? I walked around and saw some great jazz. It was a great way to end my tour.

I drove early in to Sacramento. Not really eager to come back. I don't really feel like I ever want to stop. But I'll get back to that later.

First thing I went to visit my friend Tom in Roseville. I am supposed to watch his house for the week so he gave me the rundown. You should know that Tom is a radio morningshow host who has been a huge support for this journey. Tom has a nice big house in Roseville California which is the nicest area in Sac town. He has a pretty wife and three great kids two dogs and a cat. He is buddies with all his neighbors, his house is full of cool stuff and he is involved with the community. He is a novice at the guitar, loves to fish and is not afraid to admit that he loves the band Queen. To sum it up, Tom lives the life I can only dream of. Watching his house is an honor. I don't aspire that some day i will achieve all of the things he has, but to be as happy and as content, most certainly. We spoke heavily about my journey and my ambitions for radio. His response surprised me. He believes that his generation of radio personalities are the last. They will shut the door and throw away the key when they leave. He encouraged me to do TV. I get a lot of that, but, its really not my passion. He went over why radio isn't going to survive and how the websites are not the answer that I hoped for. He then asked me why I want to do radio so bad. I gave him the same response I gave everybody.
"Because one day, I am counting the 5000 toys we helped bring for toys for tots. The next day, I get to speak with David Lee Roth. The next day, we get to help out the FFA. The next day, we play wiffle ball with some cool people out in the back lot. THe next, I get to host a movie premier and go to a concert and get a free dinner. My life was always exciting. Opportunity was everywhere, I love the music, I love the listeners, I love performers, atheletes, community organizers, special locals, comedians who always came in. Nowhere else can I live life to the fullest like I can in radio."

"Then do it. You have a lot of passion, you will find something. Don't give up. You're right. Yesterday I ran a marathon on the air. I never would have thought I would run a marathon. Last week I got to be at a redcarpet premier. You're right. This job is for you. But you can't base the sum of your career on radio based on the fact you didn't get a job on this journey. There is no set way in the door. I worked hard, but at the end of the day it still felt like luck that I was in the right place at the right time."

I left feeling good. Its nice to know that someone believes in me that knows both me and radio. That is something I just don't get in most places. Its either one or the other. But there is only so much he could do, but he has done more than I could ever ask.

I drove on into Folsom, home of the famous Folsom Prison where Johnny Cash Recorded. I saw some 4th of July Fireworks. Its funny, I really had a big plan to come to Sac town and see fireworks and pretend that it was all for me. I know that it is rediculas. But I thought it would be funny. Independance will carry a new meaning for me that fireworks can never really be adequate to display or represent my appreciation. I didn't watch the firework display for two minutes. This whole trip really made me want to do some time in the military and serve the U.S. Unfortunately that may not be an option for me, but I can think about it. But, amoungst all the crimes, all the harsh realities and mis-use of freedom and democracy, there is something more beautiful than I could have imagined. As hard as it was to see the country bymyself, I really did come back feeling changed. I appreciate what we have more than I ever would have thought I would.

I went and visited my friends the Laverty family before I came to my parents house. They invited me for a fourth of July get together. It was cool. No fireworks, just a little family get together and some good snacks. Fireworks are nice, But I want my independance day celebrations to be more intimate like that. Its so much more than a vacation to the beach with some fireworks imported from china.

The Laverty's asked me questions about the trip and I had a difficult time sounding opitimistic. I guess I didn't really have anyone great sucess story. I had some hard times and had much more struggles than not making contacts. I really wasn't sure how to shine the silver lining. Perhaps its because I don't know what that is yet.

I guess I didn't really have a climatic happy ending. I had sort of a rocky ending. I got to see great friends, meet great friends, see the country and make new discoveries. But somehow it seems very unfinished. VERY unfinished. I don't know why. Perhaps because I still need to follow up on my contacts and get those things done. But I don't think thats it. Something still feels missing. Like I didn't have enough time to think things through.
I never got tire of driving, and I don't know that I ever would have. I honestly wonder if there is enough open road to ever satisfy my need to just think. Maybe truck driving is my calling, or maybe because I can't philosophize all I need in two and a half months. Rene Descartes kept doing philosphy after meditations. Ludwig Wittenstein never stopped doing philosophy, neither did Immanuel Kant. I guess I never stop learning or thinking. I can't think my way into all of lifes answers. I guess I have to take it as it comes. I don't know that I would have been considered very sucessful if i were a native american doing a vision quest, but maybe I would have. Its hard to tell what sucess would entail, But I know I tried my hardest and I died standing up. Thats all I really wanted to do. I did this trip, I saw the goodness of the American people and Learned more about life than I ever did in such a short period of time. Nobody can take that away.


side note, I am not done. I will probably put down a few more entries But I will probably edit a lot of them too and add photos. And when the video is done, It will post that as well. I am tired now and I need to rest. But I want to thank you for taking this journey with me. Without you, I would have been alone.

Day 73 Santa Cruz C.A. song: Travelin' Song - Jackie Greene

Left Big Sur and said goodbye to my new friends. I hope our paths cross again. Drove north a little to Monterey. They have some great stations out there that I was hoping to get a piece of. I had a connection and I was going to milk it. Unfortunately, everyone took a day off that day. A three day weekend I guess. But, I checked out the town. I sat on the empty breesy beach with my poncho and played surf songs on my guitar. Monterey is a beach towns for wealthier adults. Other than the famous aquarium, it didn't seem like there is much to do.

Off to Santa Cruz. I really had NO desire to hang out there. I just wanted to get my business done and get on out. I stopped at the starbucks and was just about to check for the addresses, and I folded my computer and said "Forget this." My job search is over. This was no point anymore. I am just going to enjoy myself.

As a kid I used to come to Santa Cruz everyother summer. Its a fun place, it has a giant boardwalk, sandy beaches of fun and a lot of punk rockers and hippies crawling all over the place. I used to love it. But such is life, that you grow older and things don't appeal to you as much. Sometimes good memories turn into bad memories when they represent loss. But I decided to rise above that, because I needed to take a nap and what better place than on a beach.
When I woke up there was a volleyball game starting all around me. The dudes and chicks asked me if I would join and I obliged. We had a lot of fun. They take their volleyball playing very seriously because they insisted in high fiving eachother after every play. It was like they just came from volleyball marriage counseling. But they got a kick out of my spark on Chris Webber snarl on the court. I play for keeps.

Then, a couple of cute college girls invited me to do some skim boarding on the beach. That is when you ride a board on about one inch of water where the water divolves into the sand. We had some fun. They invited me to hang out more, But I pretended I had other plans. Just didn't feel like doing anymore with them, I just wanted to be with myself for the remainder of the trip.

I got to the boardwalk on a friday night where they have bands play free shows on a big stage. This week was the two hit wonder band from the early 90's alternative seen, The Smithereens. I used to listen to them in highshool, so I was pretty glad to stay and watch them. However, its been a long time for them, but they sounded great. But to look at them, time was DEFINATELY not good to them. But I can't make fun, those years are rapidly approaching me as well. It was a free show and I enjoyed it.

I left Santa Cruz and was off to San Jose. I drove the streets and got me a hotel. I have only had one other hotel all trip. My Mom offered it to me, because there was no place to camp this weekend without six month ahead reservation. So thats what I did. I enjoyed me a the fanciest super 8 motel I could find and relaxed on the biggest bed I had ever seen. One more day, One more night, just like Diamond Rio once said.

scripture: Alma 32: 41

Day 72 California Coast Highway 1 song: California Sun - The Rivieras

I couldn't decide between songs, Thanks Alot - Johnny Cash, Still counting the days - Goldfinger or several others. But for this drive, California Sun seemed appropriate.

I woke up on the beach of Santa Barbara, it was sweet. There was vollyball playing, kids on a skatepark, old dudes with metal detectors, women jogging and middles aged dudes walking their huge dogs.
Santa barbara I decided is really what people are thinking about when they think of California. They imagine the entire state to look exactly like Santa Barbara. Really rich and fancy beach towns with tall palm trees. Unfortunately, there aren't many place like it out there. Not in Sacramento, or San Francisco. This place looks expensive, however, I am going to try and get a job there anyway. Why not, I can handle the challenge.
The hardest part was finding the radio station. Oh of course the Program director is out to lunch, they go out to lunch for about 8 hours a day, and NEVER want to speak a word to an up and coming broadcaster. They never have any time for it. (I was being cynacle)

Yip, I moved on north after checking out the town. Its where two of my cousins went to school and I don't know how they could get anything done, it looks too much like a vacation. That is the biggest reason I went to Idaho, there would be NO distraction. Besides, I think I was led there.

I stopped off at a place called Santa Ynez. A little farm town in California where I got to pick my own berries in a vinyard. It was awesome, chalk up one more great experience that meant nothing because I was alone. But the town was sweet, it was like an old boom town in the middles of nowhere. I am sure it was filled with Retirees.

When I got to San Luis Obispo I just did my radio but didn't do much else. I drove through the main drag and went on my way.

I drove by the Hearst Castle in San Simeon. Its awesome. I really wanted to go and check it out, but that costs money. Besides, being by myself would be kind of a buzzkill. So I put on my list of things that I save for another day.
That list is really growing, the highway 1 up the california coast is the best drive in the country. I thought it may have been the highway going north from Moab, or maybe the one going through the appalachians, but I decided that it is definately highway 1. This is the most amazing sight in the whole country. I decided If and when I would get married, that our honeymoon would be to ride along the california coastal towns. Very few people, nice beaches. I am not huge on going into the beach, I just like to look at them. I guess I'm glad that this highway was the last thing on the map before I get to sacramento. It made me realize again why it is I took this trip. It was to find a home, and california is my home. THis is who I am, its where i come from. I know the rest of the country seems to hate us. But they can bite me. I went and toured their town, its nothing as cool as the california highway 1. Its absolutelly majestic.

I camped out at a place called Big Sur. Its on a giant bluff by the beach in a national forest. Its really expensive and loaded with campers. I met a nice family by the campsite next to me. They are from Palo Alto C.A. Except the father, he is originally from Ireland. His delightful accent wanted me to keep him talking. He asked me about where I'm going and I told him. He told me his close relative runs a radio station in Ireland and they might like a good American accent on the air. I told him, "Where do I sign?" That would be awesome. It would kind of funny to land a job out there. But, it would be a whole new land to explore.
He and his wife and son spoke for hours by the campfire about music. We talked all about classic rock. And he told me of how he believes the Beatles were so sucessful. He believes that there is a rule that if you put 10,000 hours in one expertise that you will become world class. Much like the Beatles, they put 1000's of hours before they got big. That is for sure. Maybe thats my problem, i haven't put in 1000s of hours yet.
Frank, (the father) and I exchanged e-mails and he told me he would ask about a radio position in Ireland for me. Meeting Frank and his family is just what I needed to make that day to go from a good one, to a great one.

Day 71 Los Angeles song: L.A. Freeway - Jerry Jeff Walker

I woke up with a bad feelilng. A feeling that says, "I ain't out of the woods yet."

I had an appointment that Ravi my hollywood buddy sent me on with a dude who he went to film school who is tearing it up in the movie industry right now. His name is Joe and he is a big time sound editor in Hollywood. His most recent big work was on the movie Crank 2. We went to a coffee joint and discussed careers. He was a down to earth dude who dispite his hard work and sucess, is very humble. He told me, "You seem to have a lot of different skills that are all related to eachother. Its good to be versatile and to keep your options open. But my advice to you is that you need to narrow your focus way down. Between tv reporting, radio jocking, promotions and producing, what is it you REALLY want to do?"

That question is something that I had been running into a lot lately. What is it exactly I am looking for. I guess all I ever wanted was to be a radio jock. Is that so much to ask? But I wasn't even sure that I wanted that so bad anymore I was willing to do this journey. To go through all the bull crap its taken to get this far, I think being a jock isn't for sure what I am looking for. So when he asked me "What is it exactly I want?" All I can think of was that little house in New Mexico, the happy little wife, the porch swing, the humble American car, the friendly neighbor, the southwestern landscape. It was all that stuff that came to my mind. So I guess I didn't honestly know how to answer the question.

Later, I met up with Ravi, he tried to share me his thoughts on the trip, that my tactic may not have been the best one. He may be right, but all of the other options people have given, are stupid, they are FAR more useless. He always thought my trip was about seeing America. And in the begining, it was. He was right.
Ravi is a guy you gotta listen to. He is young and rubs shoulders with some high profile dudes in the Hollywood business and is currently employed by ABC. He also humbly posesses an academy award for an indendant short film. I have watched him suffer and pay his dues for years, and he is still not out of the woods. He is still pluggin' along.

Ravi and I went to lunch. I tried to thank him for all that he had done for me, getting me connections and a place to crash. He wouldn't allow a thank you. He said, "You'd do the same for me. I just want to see you succeed."
We are always good at getting a good laugh together. We joked about an old buddy of ours in highschool and we laughed 'til we cried.

We laughed for too long because I responded to an internet for an audition for a radio jock. A jock for all kinds of radio jocks....IN HOLLYWOOD. The audition is for anybody, no experience necessary. In the most competitive job market in the country for broadcasting, this sounded shady. BUT, what choice do I have but to check it out. I left on a 12 mile drive with 35 minutes to spare incase the traffic was bad........ Traffic was bad. It took me an HOUR and TWENTY minutes to drive 12 miles. I was 2o minutes late to the audition. I parked my car three blocks from the audition, completely stressed out and stir crazy. I sprinted to the building anyway, husseling through my asthma, puffing that gross sunset blvd air. I got to the building it was being held in. It was a seedy building on the corner, completely unlabeled, and it looked like a good place to find some drugs, and by drugs I don't mean pot, but the more expensive kind.
I pounded on the door stressed out. A gentlemen opened it up and began to tell me that it was closed and too late, but I finally did something I haven't done all trip..... I let someone see how desperate I was. I shoved my foot in the door and said, "Listen, give me one minute, I promise you won't regret it. (huffing and puffing) I am a great radio persona, I have done it for years. I have driven 12,000 miles delivering resumes in person, only to be told "NO" "SORRY" in 30 different states, I have gotten sick twice, one busted foot, spent everything I own and lost the love of my life one last time. I promise you, nobody in there wants this as bad as I do right now. Please let me in.".... I couldn't believe I said all of that. That was pitiful. I have never been that desperate in my life. Especially for a situation that has at the very LEAST plenty of room for question. But I was stressed out in the L.A. traffic, and I completly lost my composure like never before.

His response was, "I am sorry, but we are closed for now, check the internet, there will be another audition in a week. I have to let you go, its distracting for the auditioners."

He slammed the door on me and I collapsed from exhaustion on the steps. I just sat there on the corner of sunset blvd. Watching the cars go by and the seedy locals go by. I sat there for a long long time. And I just didn't feel like getting up. I didn't want to do anything. This trip was not supposed to end this bad. I don't know what happend, I was so positive in the morning. I called up my ex-girlfriend Jennilyn whom I was supposed to have a date with and I cancelled. Nothing against her, but I wouldn't be good company. I was defeated. I needed to get out of LA. I was way off course the whole time. I love that I have family and friends there, but that isn't the place that I want to call home someday. I needed to get out of dodge immediately. No time for anything.

I changed my mind on that pretty quick. Right when I was about to leave, I saw a sign for the famous hollywood bowl. I have only seen it, and never been. I have always wanted to look at it. So I went up to it to take some pictures. For those of you who don't what the Hollywood bowl is, its the classiet music venue in America. Its where people like Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash, Miles Davis would play. It was not for the Bon Jovis or Snoop Doggs or the Garth Brooks of the world. This place is CLASSY.
The woman at the entry wouldn't let me in. I guess there was a show tomorrow and it was John Fogerty (from Creedence Clearwater) . I said,
"REALLY, is that him sound checking right now?"
"Yes thats him and his band."
"Please miss, Can I come in for just one song, I am on a road trip and it would really make my L.A. experience." That and more groveling, she eventually let me in for a bit as long as I stayed quiet in the corner and took no pictures. It was great, It was like I had my own private show with John Fogerty at the Hollywood bowl, with the famous Hollywood sign out in the distance all lit up.
While he was playing hit after hit, like "Lookin' Out my Backdoor" "Bad Moon Rising", "Stuck in Lodi" and several others, I started to think about what Ravi said. It wasn't about finding a job. It was about getting the experience. Why do I have to feel like a failure because I didn't get I was looking for. The trip was never about the finish line. It was about the journey. I may never have my Radio job, or my wife and house in New Mexico that I strive for. But it doesn't matter what you accomplish, as long as you gave it everything you know that you have. Thats how i will sleep with that on my consciounce.

I drove all night to Santa Barbara. Its the prettiest college town I have ever seen By far. I'll bet the kids here are rich and get nothing done. It looks like a fancy town in mexico, very posh and very cool. I slept out on the beach a mile from the pier under the stars next to my car. Like MxPx once said, "Today didn't have to be this way, but tomorrow is another day."

scripture: Doctrine and Covenants 9:8

Day 70 Hollywood C.A. song: Hello New Day - Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers

Today I woke up with the Eye of the Tiger. I got my tough boxer jaw all revved up and ready to go. I cracked my neck as I steped out into the smoggy Los Angeles sky, put on my Ray-Ban glasses and said in my best Clint Eastwood voice, "Lets make this Kitty Purr!"

I drove on out to the Cartoon network to apply for a production assistant job. I know that I am qualified for that job. I would do well. We will see what happens. I applied at several radio stations....Nothing. BUT, today for some reason, I felt invinsible. Today if a mugger were to attack me, I think he would have gotten mugged. Yes, for some odd reason, I felt like a Bad-@$$.

Then I walked in for my appointment to Capital Records. For those of you who don't know, Capital records is like a giant monument to Hollywood. They own the label to Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, The Beachboys, Coldplay, Radiohead, Bob Seger, Beastie Boys, etc.. The building itself is legendary and somewhat of a Wonka Chocolate factory for musicians. Nobody comes in and nobody comes out. Today, I WENT IN!!!

My great almost lifetime friend Ravi the accomplished film maker gave me a connection to an A&R rep. (A&R is the dude who discovers and sells the talent to the execs. He is the angel of mercy to all musicians). I had an appointment at nearly the top floor of this building with an office that overlooks the skyline of Los Angeles. We spoke on the music industry. Because I am a former music biz major and the former manager to Jackie Greene, I know it REAL well. We talked and talked and it was my dream, but here is why it was interesting.

The gentlemen Ankur, is a really humble and cool dude. We had actually met a few times before. He just got promoted to being in his job not two weeks ago. His story is great. He told me how in 3 short years he climbed the latter to the top. It was inspiring. He did what ever slick and seedy thing he had to to get into the door. And when he was in as an intern, he proved himself, not just by his work ethic and hussle to get the job he was asked done, but to open up the eyes of everyone to show how much more can be done. He did way more than what his job asked of him. He made friends and allies he got people to believe in him, but more importantly.... He got to believe in himself. It may have seemed like a long difficult road for him, but getting his job at his age, just seems impossible. But he did it.
He was more than happy to speak with me and to promise to help me in anyway he can. He wants to see me succeed. He even bought me lunch. I was honored.

I came outside to a parking ticket. I didn't even care. I didn't care in the slightest. Tag it on to my tab America. I am going to be a happy tax payer. The Country has given me so much, and I have given it so little. That is going to change for now on.

The night was capped with me and my cousin Paola, Gustavo and his father Gustavo sr, going to Disneyland. I finally gave in and went to Disneyland. I loved it. We got in for free so we just went for a couple of hours. We saw a firework show/light parade, and rode the Space mountain. For the first time in my life, the space mountain was open. And it was awesome.
We saw the jungle cruise ride. Its funny, and I can see why EVERYBODY who goes on it thinks that I would be Ideal for it. And seven years ago I would have, but not anymore. Its not about me. Its about my future family. I need to make a living for several people. What ever that is.
But the REAL highlight of the evening was when I went to revisit the Pirates of the Carribean. For those of you who don't know my epic pirates of the carribean story, ask me sometime.

I had a great night to follow my great day...... The Rockster is back!

scripture: Luke 18:1