Day 39 New York City song: New York - Frank Sinatra

This morning I recieved an e-mail from one of my broadcasting contacts out here in New York. It basically reads that there is no jobs available, there is nothing for me, they are laying people off and they are on a hiring freeze. Even here in New York, nobody is exempt. I don't know how it happens, but that is alarming. Still, I have heard that from every town in the United States, and it seems that there is no hope for a brighter future in sight. I guess if there was, people would stick it out and not lay people off. So, I guess I finally came to the conclusion that if it ever gets better, it won't be anytime soon. But I don't care. I don't have it in me to give up. Like Mr. Bowler in Washington D.C. told me, "You have to chase your dream, or else it is just a fantasy." I will not give up. I vowed to die standing up, and that is what I will do until there is nothing left.

I spoke with the main producer for the Fox show, Fox Friends about my plight. She interviewed me some more and got more photographs and video for the show. She was very nice and very polite. She even offered to give me a place to stay if I needed one and got me some food. When I told her, "You know so many station said they had no time for me and didn't even seem to care that I was just looking for a little of their time."
The producer Samantha said, "Its really only the people who are in small and medium markets who have big heads. Most people out here are not like that, they know what it is like to be in a small market."
It was really refreshing to hear that. Because I worked with big egos in Sacramento, I guess I figured they only got worse from their, but maybe not.

After I was done for the Day with Fox, the other producer Pilar and her good friend Caroline took me out on the town for a while. The took me to south seashore street. Pilar's friend Caroline let me drive her car all throughout New York city. It was AWESOME!!! I can't believe I drove through New York. And I was good, it wasn't bad at all. I could be a taxi driver here, no joke.
We parked by the dock. We spoke and hung out and talked about New York. They helped me realize that New York is not nearly as scary as I imagined. New York is a lot cooler than I ever would have thought. Pilar and Caroline were so friendly to me, just because they are glad to know and meet me.They even bought me a new fadora with a feather and taught me how to blend in as a street tough New Yorker. My hat said to them, "Yeeeh, I know Igotta fethuh, whatchoo gonna do 'boutit?" The day was perfect. Even if for some reason nothing comes out of my interview with Fox. I can't feel unsuccessful. I hung out with my great friend Anita and saw perhaps the most impressive city in the world. I met some warm and kind people who reached out to me and showed me love, just because that is who they are. Pilar even made me a dinner. This was one great day.

After wards Anita picked me up in a Cab. I got the New York Cab experience, also not as bad as advertised. And we went on a LDS singles cruise througout the city. I'll tell ya, if you ever go to New York, go on a night time yaught cruise. It was THE MOST impressive sight I had ever seen, it was like a gyroscope of lights that seem to come out at you. It was honestly breathtaking. We floated by the lit up statue of Liberty and it was beautiful. I loved it so much. I did a little bit of mingling. There was dancing and socializing. It was like a booze cruise with no booze. I had a good time dispite myself.

Afterwards a bunch of folks paid five bucks each to get a limo across town to a restuarant. I got window seat and I ate it up. I was on a New York High and the whole group of people in the limo with me whom I had just met, seemed to accept me immediately. It was awesome. I felt welcomed enough that If I moved to New York, I would have a lot of friends in no time. We all went to a resturaunt and bought milk shakes and talked, I got very comfortable, I felt completely in my element for the first time since I have been in New York. I really thought would hate New York. It may not be where I go, but I seem to have no trouble creating a path for myself out here. I am going to miss this place when I leave for Boston tomorrow night.
I will be on the show fox friends at 6 45 in the eastern time am. So that will be cool.

scripture: Ecclesiastes 2: 10

Day 38 Harlem NY song: Cry Tough - Poison

This Morning Pat and Tom from KNCI in sacramento called to ask about the my appearence on Fox News this Sunday. I love Pat and Tom, they have helped me out so much. They are great friends of mine some of the best I have ever had. I know they love and respect me. But, as soon as I come on to talk to them on the air, I become Rockin' Randy again. And Rockin' Randy to them, is someone completely different than what I was as a performer. Rockin' Randy is the goofy college kid to them when I come on the air. I guess I owe to myself to to move on from that, I think I've earned it. Besides, a big part of this trip, was to detach myself from the Rockin' Randy character some, and see what Randy Peterson can do.

I got lost this morning looking for the New York Temple. I wound up in the heart of Harlem WITHOUT my mojo. However, I didn't get scared. I just walked tall and walked proud with my Randy swagger wearing my fanciest clothes I had . I actually quite enjoyed my wandering in Harlem. I said a lot of Hellos and tried to give some high fives. I wasn't as successful as I would have hoped. Maybe I should have bought a Barack Obama shirt, (this town definately votes different than texas). But, I did by some african soap and ate some new york soul food. The soul food in Tennessee was better. But not bad in New York.

I couldn't even get into the other broadcasting buildings to ask for a chancet to speak with someone in new york. I anticipated that would happen, but I had to try. At least Fox will hear me out.

After Anita got off work, she completed the tour for New York city for me. She really is the best tour guide I dude can ask for. She is street smart and really knows the town and is happy to show me around.
She took me to ground Zero of the World Trade center. I knew it had been a long time since I had heard much talk about 9/11, I didn't even question myself weather or not I felt anything towards that day anymore. But when I got to where it all happend, I choked up. I was with a tough new yorker, so I didn't show any emotion, I held strong, but I was caught off guard, that was a horrible morbid feeling that came all over me at once. I guess that day meant more to me than I thought.
We took the ferry to stanton island to go by the Statue of Liberty for free. It was awesome. A LOT smaller than it looks like on the T.V. but it was very powerful. I am very glad I didn't miss it. The doc that it is near by is really classy. There are some really fancy pants classy parts of New York that I never knew existed. I so a ton of stuff today.
Then we went to Wall Street. I saw the New York Stock Exchange where our economy rests on. It was like I saw where all the white collar evil looms from. I gleefully took a picture by it like a mindless tourist.
Then we went to china town and little Italy. Little Italy was awesome. Never again will I be so easily be satisfied by Italian food now that I have had it as good as I did today. We had the whole experience. We were even serenated by a couple of instrumentalists playing Italian music with a singer named Luigi. It was almost cartoony.

We ended the night early, Anita is going to run a 13 mile marathon tomorrow, and my feet have been in a lot of pain ever since Tenessee. My brand new fake chuck taylors are wearing thin. I am going to need a foot massage therapist when this trip is over. I think I actualy have walked 500 miles on this journey.

Well today I had fun, I got an experience. I didn't come up with any exciting or deep revelatory meaning, I didn't get any job leads or really even meet anyone new. But, how can I complain, I saw the coolest town in America, and the beautiful Statue of Liberty. What was not to like about today?

scripture: DnC 9: 8

Day 37 Manhatten NYC song: Back to Olympia - Rancid

This morning I slept in, I was anticipating a lot of walking today. And that is what I did. I spent most of the day walking in central park. The park is really really nice. I spent some time hanging out with a panhandler playing rockabilly music. Its funny, the one place where panhandling seems to be VERY profitable, I didn't bring my guitar.

I spent several hours as well just walking about the streets on the not so scenic and tourist parts of town. I walked and thought. I saw a lot of folks walking and talking to themselves. I decided not to knock it 'til I tried it. So I had a few moments where I began to think out loud and articulate my thoughts. I'll tell ya, it can be addicting. My thoughts became more lucid as I said them out loud, but I didn't have the energy to keep it up for long.

I absorbed the culture of New York and I wonder how it would be if I had a job there. I know I could survive it, and I know I might even get to really like it, but I don't know that I would want to. Possibly when I was six years younger I would have been more up to it, but these days I don't know that I have the stamina to be in New York. The folks here are very focused on making their career happen. I don't know how or if they do keep up the balance between a home life and a work life. I didn't grow up wanting just life in the city, and I think that may be what seperates me from New York. I don't know that I could live here without compromise who I am, not in a bad way but a compromise of some sort.

So it looks as if Fox news will be having me as their guest this weekend. They want to put me on the morningshow. The young woman who is going to be apart of the production of this event name is Pilar. She was giving me a pre-interview for the show. She is a pretty latina who grew up in New York. She was absolutely amazed by the story. She seemed as if she couldn't get enough of my story. For her, this was living out a dream of hers. I have heard that a lot on this trip, that is really funny for me, because, the people who say that are usually living the life that I dream about. I guess you never can really win.
We spoke a deep conversation on religion, politics and the kind of things we want out of life. I never would have suspected that a true blue New Yorker would want have a penchant for the suburban status quo living of the American Dream. But her and I identified with eachother much more than I ever would have suspected, she broke my perception of a New Yorker really quick. She really was interested in becoming my friend and hanging out with me. Which I indeed welcomed. I always want to make friends in every town I go into.

After Anita got off work, she took me to time square to see a broadway play. We saw the cheapest one we could and got the most affordable seats...... So we saw Mary Poppins.......

Now, I am not a dork.... I love baseball..... rock n' roll.... cowboy flics.... shootin pool, power tools and cars...... but, I LOVED WATCHING MARY POPPINS. It was my first broadway play and I was not dissapointed. You don't even have to like theatre in any sense to appreciate what it has to offer you. Just the effects were MIND blowing. I couldn't get enough, it was intense. And this was the most affordable play. You never get bored, even if you think the story isn't any good, you can't help but love the experience. It was more magic than Ziegfried and Roy, and you didn't have to deal with the wierd costumes. Don't any of you think that I am a theatre person, but I did enjoy the broadway play.

Thats all I got, I'll say hi to y'all when I'm on T.V.

scripture: Luke 6:23

Day 36 New York City N.Y. song: No Sleep 'til Brooklyn - Beastie Boys

Annie dropped me off in Baltimore waiting for my ten dollar bus ride into New York. Baltimore is a lovely town, but its the murder capital of the world, not really my kind of happening. I don't think I will be seeking much employment there. The bus ride was cool. The bus had electricity and internet access.

When the bus dropped me off into the thick of New York right next to an adult book store, I grabbed my MoJo bag and stared at it and said, "Its just you and me, Lets make this kitty Purrr." Then I gave my best Johnny Cash snarl and walked off fast and ready to catch up with the New York pace. I immediately found Time Square and rockafeller center. They were nice, but I didn't feel like being in the touristville, I was more inclined to want to hang out with New Yorkers.

I met up with my contact, my friend Anita whom I went to college with and graduated doing the same thing. She had been working as a production assisstant for Fox News for a year and a half. She gave me the grand tour of Fox news. I ran into Bill O'Reilly and saw all the studios they broadcast in. I saw the biggest news rooms I have ever seen with studios that look like Disco Techs from Star Trek. It was impressive. I also learned quickly that even in Fox news they have security people everywhere protecting the employees from the haters.

As it turns out, my story of traveling across America just may be intriguing enough to do a story on the Fox network. So the morningshow in the next couple of days just may have me on as a guest talking about my trip. At this point, my journey may be becoming a symbol of hope to many and may be good material for their show. But we are not sure that the highest powers that be are sold on the idea just yet. But, we will see, I just might say hi to you from Fox News.

Anita also showed me around New York. We went to the Brooklyn Bridge and saw the bright lights and the big city of New York. We also went to a very NON touristy restuarant for Indian food and told them it was my birthday for some free ice cream. Of course, there were five other birthdays being celebrated in that tiny little place that night. We rode the subways and Saw the New York temple. It was pretty awesome.

One thing you must know, I was scared of New York. It was one of the few things about this trip that I was really terrified about. I didn't know that I could keep up, and I didn't know that would like it. I seem to be handling it just fine. It could take a lot of getting used to, but I don't think New York is as scary as I would have believed. But it is nice to have a guide with me here, it can be a very scary place if you don't know what you are doing. But if you are with someone you trust, it can be a great experience.... such is life.

scripture: 1st Nephi 8:30

Day 35 Capital Hill song: Toss - The Brodys

Put on my best thrift store jacket, brand new clip-on tie, and used a sensible portion of my finest hair grease for my big contact for the day. I was meeting with Mr. Bowler who works for the Church Office in P.R. work for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His position is highly important and he has an office that is near the nations capital that is bigger than my last apartment. He was on the third floor and has a secratery. And he has a Dr. X chair.

Mr. Bowler: "I'm sorry we don't have anything here in the office or anything I even know about. I wish I could point you in a direction. You could try working for the senate. The California senators Barbara Boxer or Diane Feinstein. You could have a chance there if you try."

Mr. Bowler: "So tell me what it is you liked about Gruene Texas?"
Randy: "Well, I loved the town.... the way the structures that made the town, didn't corrupt the land. The perfectly organized community with a good radio station. It had everything you needed and nothing you don't want. It was perfectly situated between San Antonio and Austin Texas. It had culture and class."
Mr. Bower: "But how will you find a woman in Gruene Texas?"
Randy: "Heh heh. there in lies my canumdrum. I don't know how. But I am just not ready to move to provo raising the white flag and while wearing a shirt that says "you win ladies, what is thy bidding?". But those days are drawing nearer."

He continued to tell me his trail to his job now. He did one thing that led to another. He was a college professor at one point and worked in congress and was a lobbiest and did many of the things that people dream of.

Mr. Bowler: "There is three things I would tell a man of your age. One have a dream. Two persue that dream. Or it becomes a fantasy. Three, be flexible. You may and probably won't have a straight line leading up to that dream. The reason I think people have been so empathetic to you is because you are living their dream. Everyone has wanted to travel like you are, but they usually can't or didn't have the guts. They see how hard you have worked for what you got and they want to see you succeed. Maybe because they see themselves in you.
You will find what you are looking for. You will. Its hard on everyone right now. You are out there learning about the country and you have been to more places in the last five weeks than I have been my whole life. My dream was to travel Europe, my old mission. Now all my kids are grown up you would think I could just pick up and go with my wife, but isn't that easy. I don't have time. You grow up thinking that when you get old all you have is time, but thats not true. There is always more to do."

Right before I thanked him for his time, he said wait and he e-mailed a friend of his who happens to be the producer for Wolf Blitzer one of the main voices for CNN. "I think she might find you interesting, she might be able to help you. It was sure a pleasure to meet with you, you are definately and interesting guy. I wish you the best of luck."
Right before I left I couldn't help but notice on his e-mail account he had some e-mails from some of the highest authorities in our church. I wasn't aware of his prowess in his career, but I am starting to get it.
As I came back to my station today I got my bus ticket to northern New England I got an e-mail from the producer of Wolf Blitzer. She wants to meet with me. She thinks I sound interesting. We will see what happens with that.

Speaking of those who want me to succeed and to help me out. I have now gotten a few offers from those who wish to give a charitable donation. You can't understand how flattering that is. Just the thought is worth more than the money. I thank you. However, I vowed I would do this trip without accepting money. That I would do this like a real lonesome traveling troubadour. And I have bugeted well. However, however, two women in Texas had already corrupted me. They gave me money against my will. And I let my parents help me with my car battery and one hotel room. So Because my trip will be obviosly longer than 40 days (more like 70), I just might consider it. I will let those know after I leave New England. Thank you once again.

Scripture: Alma 13:10

Day 34 Maryland song: A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles

I got pulled over this morning for drunk driving. "No sir, I haven't been drinking, I was just up late driving to the nearest wal-mart. Which according to my GPS is only 8 miles away..... Whats that? ...... oh no, I don't drink at all dude. I only drink in the gospel, heh heh, uhhhhhhhh (fade out). Don't worry, I'll pull into the parkinglot and I'll be sound as a pound until its go time. Thanks for checking sir, I promise this will never happen again."

I spent the day driving and sleeping, (NOT AT THE SAME TIME) until I got to my east coast home base with Annie and Matt. Not much to tell from then, I took a long shower to get the sand out of my hair and I had noticed that I am about four shades darker. I look like I am a guest in our country. I might do well if I seek a job at telemundo. Its nice that I never really burn, just tan.

The evening I spent with Annie's family the Henderson Clan. They're family evening consited of everyone playing rock n' roll instruments such as guitar, keyboard, drums bass and vocal....Thats the way it should be......
We rocked to the sounds of The Beatles, Jan and Dean and Phantom of the Opera. It was like hanging out with the Osmonds. They are all extraordinarily talented and jolly. They just love to play and have fun together. If it were any more fun it would be a real life church video being shown on the BYU network. That is how I would like my family to be, a bunch of rockers, who end the night with a prayer and ask for forgiveness for all their hard rocking.

scripture: Ezra 3:12

Day 33 Nags Head N.C. song: Love Stinks - J. Geils Band

I woke up in the parkinglot close to the beach. While I was grooming myself for church out of my trunk I was shaving, applying calone, deorderant and mopping my hair, people were looking at me funny parked in the same lot dragging their beach toys while I was in my suit.

Church was held at a little branch building. They managed to accomodate nearly 700 people in this little building for church. It was wierd. They had people stuffed in every room for sacrament. I was in the hall way that was filled to the brim with chairs. This may have been my favorite sacrament meeting on this trip and I will tell you why.
The speakers were recently returned Mission Presidents. They spoke on the seriousness of preparing for marriage and morality. The wife said, "A young man called me this weekend asking to stay with us, because he didn't want to stay in houses that the people were renting out for the week. Even with the best of intentions, real bad things can be happening." I had a hard time not laughing out loud when I saw how wide eyed everyone got. Maybe I shouldn't be laughing, but I saw so many faces of uneasyness go on everyones face. I was just glad that I was exempt.

I spent the remainder of the day with my new friend Amy. I felt the need to try and get to know her more. She was just too interesting to pass up.
We went to a house gathering with 500 of the hosts closest friends showed up to have an accoustic concert where many of the guitar playing dudes were entertaining. Of course, I realize it was the sabbath, so you want it to be low-key. But one complaint I have always had with LDS guitar players is that they never come to the show armed ready to Rock the Casbah. The night was filled with flouncing nellys on accoustic guitars singing corny love songs. I wasn't on the list so I couldn't put my money where my mouth was, but when I got the idea of how the night was we left early.

Amy and I had a great time. We established that in another time and place, there could have been some real potential for us. But unfortunately, I am on the road, and she is making a life for herself in D.C. The funny thing was about us is that, we are so similar. We are completely ready to gamble on our lives, and our future, but never again will we gamble on love. We both knew that the next person we date seriously we hope to be the one. We both had our fair share of hard knocks and frustrations and don't take lightly to the subject of dating. We know that we do the best we can and hope for the best, and smile through the pain.

We left things on terms that seem to say, "who knows, possibly maybe......could happen....I guess". We were both ok with that. We are both old enough to know better than to bank what two days of being aquainted would offer. But, I am sure glad we met, it really put a fun spin on my journey. Like Joe Strummer from the Clash once said, "the future is unwritten."

scripture: Romans 5: 3
And not oly so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience."

Day 32 Corolla NC song: Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd

I went to the Wright Brothers Monument in North Carlina. I stood on the hill where aviation first took flight ever. There was a large monument of stone on the hill in celebration of the Wright brothers. I stood on the grounds where they had flown thousands of failed experiments before they finally got one to fly. People scoffed at them and told them they were crazy. They had to deal with so much failure before they could achieve such great sucess. It was inspiring, it gave me the charge I needed.

Today was vacation day. Everytime I work really hard I scold myself for not vacationing and enjoying the trip more. Everytime I enjoy the trip, I scold myself for not trying hard enough to find the job. Now I just say to myself, "work hard, Play hard."

My good friend Karen from Arizona informed me of a massive LDS Church singles week long event going on in Duck Beach North Caralina. It wasn't church sponsored, just a bunch of ambitious swingin' party Mormon kids with some extra cash. The situation was about 25, one million dollar beach houses that everyone was renting out right on the beach. Duck beach is a real classy beach. Its got good water, sand and not a huge amount of tourists. They had six volleyball nets and close to seven hundred singles from 23 to 33. The beach was scattered with Modest is Hottest bathing suits and BYU shirts without the sleeves. It was like MTV Spring Break, only being hosted by the BYU TV Network.

My friend Karen was there and a few others I knew from school, but they were all there to meet new people, I can't blame them, they put down a lot of money for that trip. I was mostly on my own. Ordinarily I would be playing the field with the best of them, but this was different. I didn't know why I felt so out of place. They are all like me, striving for wholesome values and wanting good things. And like me, they were doing everything they can to make the most out of their singledom. Sure they would mostly like to have other things but they were taking full advantage of being single as they can. It was a Mormon single shan-gra-la.
Somehow I was different though. For me taking advantage of being single was to the the opposite, be completely on my own. Having no social network in close proximitty. I would prefer spending the weekend by myself driving across the nation I guess. Not that it wasn't cool, because it was awesome. Just not my cup of tea. I sat there on the beach for hours watching the buffed single dudes franternize with the women who had the most confident walk. Finally it dawned on me, this was not a place I was going to meet someone. How serious of a conversation am I going to have when I approach a girl in a bathing suit pretending she is only really there to be tanning? Plus, I have a propensity to shut down when I am in social situations where I am not familiar with many. So.... I decided it was a waste of my time. I did not plan on romance on this trip and I certainly wasn't going to find it here oddly enough.

Just as soon as I was almost completely had gotten off the beach and was ready to go somewhere else, a pretty 24 year old red head named Amy approaches me and and says, "Didn't you go to BYUI?" I figured she knew me from INEWS or Guitars Unplugged, but she remembered me from Dancing. I decided to stay and chit chat with her for a bit just to know that I at least tried. We spoke for a long time, LONG time. We hung out at the beach for several hours together. We had a suspicious amount of things in common. Both of us knew hardly anyone around, neither of us felt we belonged and didn't care to fraternize with the multitude of singles. Neither one of us let their eyes wander to other people as we spoke to eachother. She had just gotten off a similar road trip to what I am doing by herself as well. She too is trying to find what her new life is going to be and having very little idea of what she will do. I have never met a girl who did something like that by herself. She is as much of a traveling troubadour as I am. What I call a vision quest, she calls a walkabout, but we think very similar. We honestly had some extraordinarily meaningful discussions (not the way David Lee Roth means by meaningful discussions). It was incredible, I came to the beach expecting at best case scenario having a very shallow discussion on nothing with a ditz and getting the opposite.
I know a lot of people who say, "there is NO coincidence, there is NO accidents." I usually say thats just what simple minds think. I am a very spiritual person who listens carefully, but I DO believe in coincidents and bizarre accidents and bad luck and good luck. But, even I had to admit, meeting this girl was just WIERD!

We spent the remainder of the evening together just talking. We had full opportunity to cross the boundries and do more, it was memorial day weekend and all bets are off, but, I think we respected eachother too much to cheapen the experience. Neither of us believe in one night stands or NCMO's (non-commital Make-out). Oddly enough the two people who had the least amount of expectations from the trip, met someone like-minded. Like Pink Floyd once said, "we are two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl," I was very happy our paths crossed. It really helped put things in perspective.

scripture: 1st Nephi 8: 30

Day 31 Virginia Beach V.A. song: Breakdown - Guns n' Roses

Late morning, late start. I spent an unneccessarily long time in D.C. Traffic. They say that L.A. is worse, but I have driven my fair share in L.A. and I have never experienced traffic as rediculas. One thing that makes traffic a little more boring in the east coast is that there are so many darn trees. You never get a sense of where you are when you are in hours of traffic, because it all looks the same. It provides nice shade of course, but it looks the same everywhere you go.

Finally I managed get out of dodge and I went to a town called Williamsburg VA. Because I was in traffic for 3 hours, I missed the office hours of the local radio station I was going to contact, so I left them my material and hoped for the best. But the town is funny. Its got a well preserved (or faux) colonial district, where there are people dressed like its the 17 hundreds doing demonstrations and reinactments. At first I was a little un impressed, but when I turned one little seedy lookin' ally way into another section of town, it was like I went into a colonial Narnia. Except, I was greeted by a sweet college girl in a colonial outfit churning butter with a look on her face that said, "It wasn't always like this." Williamsburg was really nice, I was only dissapointed that they didn't have the witch hunt reinactment, but it was a giant tourist trap, which I am losing my thirst for.

Then I crused to Virgina Beach. I really didn't know what to expect, but since I knew nothing about it, I thought it was going to be a classy and scenic beach............... I was wrong... The beach was deligtfully seedy, it was the biggest most profitable beach town I had ever seen by far. I felt like I was in MTV...... Not really my kind of place believe it or not. But, I came there knowing there was going to be an event that was put on by the local radio stations, my job was to get in there and meet the cast.

The show was free concert with country stars Steve Azar and Keith Anderson. A couple of country pop pretty boys with ugly bands to make them look better. The place was crawling with scandalous friday night cowgirls going crazy for the tunes. If I had a cowboy hat and a tight shirt I could have made some friends real fast. But what could we possibly talk about?....But I couldn't complain, the show was free. I quickly went to the radio booth and spoke with promotions guy scott, and his words were, "I'm sawry, we got nuthin here at our station, all five of them. I've been trying to get iin as a jock as well fer two years. The only jocks left after the recession storm are the ones who have been doin' it for fifteen years. Thats iit. We only have one live show out of four stations. Most everything else is either automated or piped in from somewhere else. I too graduated from college recently and they are telling me that am going to wait and pay my dues. I am 45 grand in debt and I have done promotions for 2 years. I'm done with this. Maybe you could have my job, I don't know how long I'll be at this for."

I almost wanted to buy an icecream to make him feel better, but he is the first guy that "I" actually wished "Good luck dude, I hope you get what you deserve."

I didn't actually go to the beach, it was dark and there was too many people looking for trouble in that town. I decided to go somewhere else. When I got in my car my Mom called. She informed me that our dog Murray passed on. I didn't take it real well. I decided I didn't want to hit the campground just yet and I didn't want to be at the boardwalk. So I just drove. Carefully, cautiously, but aimlessly. I just took the country roads south. I decided to go somewhere I wasn't planning on going. To North Caralina. I just went. I drove with the window down trying to relax.

My friend Stephanie gave me a tip that Wal-Mart parkinglots are sanctioned for sleeping in your car. So I when I arrived in northcaralina at 2 am I sat in a parkinglot at wal-mart, (the only use I have for wal mart) and did nothing. I promised myself, no matter how hard the trip got, I would never get down on myself, I would never get furios, I would never get discouraged and quit and I would never breakdown. But, I didn't see the passing of Murray, and I couldn't be there for it. I know he was old, I know he was in pain and I know he is in a better place and yaw yaw yaw yaw...... But, it still hurts like hell. I allowed myself to shed some tears and vow tomorrow will be better. tomorrow will be better.

scripture:TBD

Day 30 Washinton D.C. song: Born in the U.S.A. - Bruce Springsteen

Today Annie Played my tour guide across the capital mall. I seem to have been very lucky on this trip to be guided with the perfect person to be with in a lot of these places like in Texas, or Arkansas and now Maryland. Anywho, Annie certainly knows a lot about the National history of the country and got to witness me as my heart opened up to our country.

We saw all the monuments, the memorials for world war 1, 2, vietnam, korean war. I saw the capital, the white house and almost everything else you can think of. We went through some musuems, but, today was Junior High student day. There were a million little monsters let loose unchained and unwatched running about throughout everthing. It made it really difficult to enjoy some of the sacred places. But even the kids couldn't completely ruin some of the massive statues and quotes that rose high above.

I have always been somewhat cynical about our nations history, never was I the most pro-America kind of guy. But I was very moved by the Jefferson, Washingtonand Lincoln monument. As I reflected on our country that I have been able to experience, I can see much more clearly how different we all are in several locations around the nation. And everywhere I go, the people are generally pretty good people. Different customs, different attitudes, different political preferences, we are definately a lot more dynamic than I ever would have imagined. There seemed to be something inherently good about every place I have been to. Ultimately I came to the conclusion, that I am in fact proud of where I come from, and the people that make up such a diverse nation. This country is a patchwork of diversity and many different ideas and thoughts, not just the two we see on tv. I am happy with what we got, and there is something worth fighting for. Never would I try and get political on this blog, I am certainly not speaking of the situation we are in now, but, maybe I could have joined the military for the right reason, maybe I could have really done it for something much greater than anything I can take any ownership from. Its just too bad I would be disqualified from the military for having asthma, I didn't know that would hurt this much, but all I can do now is show my patriotism in other ways. I never really thought that this trip would make me a real Johnny America.

Ether 13:8

Day 29 Columbia MD, song: 500 Miles - The Proclaimers

I woke up to soft purr of a cuddling kat that crawled into my bed. I secretly kind of enjoyed the company.

I have traveled now over 5000 miles, just to be the man who would walk five thousand miles to fall down at your door. Da duh ta, da duh ta. da da ta da duh tuh dah dah dah da. ........... Don't judge, I can usually outmusic you any day of the week.......... so back the heck off!!!!

After all the traveling that I have done and so much of it was not on the original agenda, I have burned out some. I spent the day doing research looking for jobs. I have heard from a couple of good friends that the job market in DC is great. So I spent most of the time researching for broadcasting jobs. I have found a couple of opportunities here and there, but not much going on. Unless I can speak Dari, or Spanish. (I can already hear my Mom rubbing the spanish one in my face). However there is one in xm radio that is all Baseball all day long that I may qualify for.

I spent a good chunk of the Day with my host Annie, we saw some of the very green and beautifully organized planned community she lives in, in the town of Columbia. We spoke of many important things about life. She is a friend who you can have the most meaningful conversations with for a long time and never get tired. Helps put into perspective.
One thing she brought to my attention as far as the question about Argo asked when he asked, "why are you doing broadcasting, is it because you want to be famous or to have something to say." Annie's theory which is the only one that makes sense to me is that I do it for the people. I don't know that I care about having something to say and I certainly don't care much about the fame. I love the variety of people I get to meet. I love the places I would go that I would never go for any other reasons. I love that you are constantly learning about the world around you and about the lives of your neighbors. There is a reason I am doing all this, I do love broadcasting for a logical reason, I just hope its enough to keep me to endure to the end.

Later in the evening Annie's husband Matt invited me to come and hometeach an individual in his ward. I played it cool, but inside I was thrilled. I loved the idea of meeting someone new, I have come to really love meeting random folks. This man we taught Brian, I can tell had a few too many hard knocks for one man. He had a condition that rendered him unable in a lot of ways, he had been slowed down, but he was blessed with a sincerity and a hunger for knowledge and guidance that was heartwarming. I was so happy to meet with him and watch Matt bring him a message about the comfort of the gospel. You can tell he has endured a lot in his life and continues to endure more than most ever do on a daily basis. He hangs on every word of hope, which seemes to grant him the power to carry on. Matt turned attention to me for a bit and told Brian about my adventure. And Brian looked right into my soul with a look I can never forget and asked, "did...did the voice tel ya ta come here?"
Oddly enough, I never looked at it that way. I never thought about what made me do this trip or even go to Maryland. It just seemed logical at that point. It seemed like something I needed to do, but I can equate what point this actually got in my head that it is something I NEED to do. But could there have been something else? Brian seemed to believe it could have been, why didn't I ever wonder that?
Matt said that visiting with Brian can be very sobering. That was an understatement. Meeting him put some perspective to my journey. He was so greatful for us to come and share a message and be a servant. This is something I have not gotten to do for many people on this trip, serve others. Just like the 1980's show the Incredible Hulk when Dr. David Banner would drift into another town and make a friend, he would help them in someway and this would help him deal with his inner demon, which in his case was the Hulk.
I got a feeling that I won't be too successful if I let opportunities to serve others pass me by. I have been served plenty, now it is my turn. If I focus too much on myself, I will miss what I love the most....others.

Mosiah 2:17

Day 28 West Virginia song: Country Roads - John Denver

This morning I felt good... relaxed, I was glad I parked there in Kentucky and I was charged to go a long way today.

I drove into West Virginia and I was floored. West Virginia, has possibly the best landscape I have seen in the entire U.S. It wins the award for the Most green, which is really saying something. And it certainly isn't real touristy, there isn't any tourist traps that I could find, which in some sense is really nice. I stopped out in Charleston for a while, its the smallest town that has a little skyline I have ever seen. The entire state feels like a little time warp back into a hundred years ago. But I had an apointment to speak to someone in channel five news. He told me he had nothing for me, but he knows a station in Clarksburg WV who had an opening for a reporter, that I would probably be very qualified for.

Since Clarksburg was two hours away, I decided to check Charleston. Not much really going on there, at all. But I checked out the mall and I talked to a recruiter for the National Gaurd. I told myself I would search that out until after the trip was done. Military was sort of my full proof back up plan, that sounded really enticing at this point. But, I was feeling week, and I broke my promise to myself. I spoke to guy and it looked great. It looked like a great fit, maybe not the national guard, but another branch would work just dandy. It felt nice to be stable, until this conversation happend.
"Its not that you're not physically fit. You're not fat, crippled, or dumb. You have a good build, not too skinny, not too anything. And I believe you are a tough guy, I'll bet you probably could muscle it out and survive the basic training boot camp. Just this trip you're doing alone tells me your an ambitious man. But, the Military doesn't take risk with Asthmatics. There can be exceptions made with the right medical records, but generally speaking it doesn't ever happen. The U.S. military is unfortunately not an equal opportunity employer. They can't afford to have you collapse with a back pack on the field knowing ahead atime you have asthma. I'm sorry kid. But I wish you well on your journey, I think you'll do alright."

Oddly enough I took it well. Maybe it just hadn't hit me yet. But as of right now, I have a job to do, and now I am working without a net.

I cheked out Clarksburg WV and noticed that the entire town smelled like an ashtray, and I think some of the locals still miss the Jerry springer show. But I walked into the news station for the reporter job. They made me fill out an application that looked like a starbucks application. I told them I have a professional resume and contact reference and a demo-reel. But they wanted the application for me to put the same stuff in writing too. As it turned out, when I was finished, they were losing a reporter yes, but it didn't look as if they were replacing him. Now I was getting shut down by market 161 in the country. Not to worry, I didn't know that I was real ecstatic about calling Clarksburg my new home. As pretty as the land was, and as charming as the people were, it was a bit too far from civilation.

I just rolled on through West Virginia after I checked out WVU in Morgantown. I liked that West Virginia is its own little time warp, it definately hasn't been too updated. When I got into maryland in the evening, I realized something about all of the states I have been in. It only takes about 15 minutes after you pass a state line before you figure out that everystate has an identity. Its own unique characteristics. I always knew that of course, but way more so than I even imagined. Maryland felt like a time warp as well, but it felt much more like a Norman Rockwell painting. It seemed very colonial and very sweet, almost darling. A real change from West Virginia and Kentucky.

I rolled into Columbia Maryland late at night and I got caught up with my long time friend Annie and her husband Matt. They said they are willing to house me as long as I need. Which I would never take advantage of, but it is so great to hear that now. I haven't had too many places to stay out in the east, so this could be a good home base.
We talked alot, about jobs and about whats out there for employment and living. We had some deep discussions and one Thing Annie said to me that I don't ever want to forget is, "If you really want to live, you have to feel."

Scripture: Proverbs 3:13

Day 27 Grayson Lake KY song: Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones

This morning My GPS broke down. It had become an instrument that I now able to say to myself, “How did I live without one?” So today I got lost several times looking for the nearest Big O’ Tires to get my tires rotated and oil changed, brakes checked and apparently I needed a new battery. They operate a little slower out here in the south so I spent a good chunk of my day waiting for all these services to be done. Because of the situation where the big O tires was placed, I couldn’t go anywhere, so I was forced to sit in their little chair area and watch what must have been a marathon of , The View..... So far the day was not going well.

Hours later it all got done and GPS tech support helped me fix my problem. Now it was 2 o’clock. I drove through Louisville, and I didn’t have the desire to search for a job. Not that it wasn’t a nice town. It was actually a relief to see a southern city that wasn’t a massive parody of how red neck it was. Its just that, I didn’t want to stay in a city anymore. I just felt sick and wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, I didn’t even go into the Louisville Slugger museum that I wanted to see.

It didn’t look like I was going to have a place to stay in West Virginia so I found another camp ground by a lake in east Kentucky. It was cheap, (because I don’t think I can afford the KOA’s anymore in the east) and I had a lot of space, in a great campsite.

I didn’t make it too far today, I had no cell phone signal and no internet, which I was actually not bothered in the slightest by. What I did find, is exactly what I was looking for that I didn’t know what I was looking for. A place quiet where I could think. I camped out a short hike from a lake that was almost better than what Bob Ross could paint. It was humble, but perfect, un-corrupted by man. I found a spot there where I just knelt and prayed. This is something I have been dying to do for a while in this trip, is to have my own personal space to reflect, without traffic, or other people around. I wanted to have a day like Enos where I just prayed all day. Which, I was pretty close too. I sat there for several hours pondering what I am doing. Haunted by the question Argo from Elvis Radio told me, “Why is it you want to do broadcasting? Is it because you want to be famous? Or is it because you have something to say?” What has been bothering me about that question is not that I don’t have anything to say, or that I even care about fame anymore, its just that, my question has not been “Is that really why I am doing this? Do I care that much about broadcasting anymore? Has the novelty run its course in my life? Is that whats really gonna make me happy?” Amoung many other things, those are some of the questions I pondered for what must have been several hours.

I sat there until the sun was completely gone and I had to navigate in the dark back to my camp ground. I was lost for a while, but I wasn’t worried, I found my way eventually. I am going to keep most of my findings personal, But I came out knowing that I am doing the right thing, I am on the right path, and there is still hope out there.

On a side note, I want to thank those of you who have been reading these. I cherish every comment left and every time you read the blog. Without you, I don’t know I would have made it this far. Thank you.

Scripture: James 1:5

Day 26 Louisville KT song: Sunday Morning Coming Down - Kris Kristofferson

Going up north from Nashville was difficult when I got to Kentucky. Every exit there was another museum egging me on. I planned the day so that I didn't have to spend any money. Which I wasn't going to, but I had to use the restroom,.... why not at the national corvette museum? The museum was huge, and very fancy, and the price was very reasonable compared to what you might think. BUUUUTTT, I resisted in the last second and kept on moving.
I drove through past the most enticing museums yet, and I drove past many giant billboards say things like, "Jesus Saves", "Do you know where you go when YOU die?", and my favorite, "Hell is Real" placed across the highway from an adult book megastore.

Even though I had time to spare, I went straight to church an hour early. Which is good, because the website had the time an hour late, and I crossed into eastern time and I didn't know it. So I missed the sacrament meeting, but I did catch sunday school. The gospel doctrine was taught by a dude sporting a long ponytail, beard, black fadora and dark aviators. By looking at him, I suspected he could humble me at ZZ Top trivia, or Dungeons and Dragons trivia. Afterwards, I found out that I was right on both accounts. But he taught a great lesson on keeping the sabbath holy. Which is the third time I have heard that on this journey. I loved it anyway, and I am glad I didn't do anything to make me feel guilty, even if I AM traveling.

Seeing other wards across the nation has been some of my favorite things on this trip. I get to see how others conduct themselves differently and see things differently yet still live the same gospel. I have loved that.

Afterwards they had a baptism. I watched a young woman get baptized and I was moved. I love watching those happen in other places with different cultures and situations. I remembered my own on Christmas morning 12 years ago, I remember every detail, and I wondered if it will be like that for her. I reflected on times when I got to go in and baptise others as well. I was so moved by the experience, that I caught myself thinking of cowboys and baseball to keep from letting my emotions rise to the surface. It didn't work perfectly but I did ok.

Afterwards there was a young man who sat with me at the luncheon. His name was Jerry, he was a bit slow. He was awesome though, because he kept telling me stories like Forest Gump. "Yeah, I wurk at da Krow-gur. I baag stuff and collect buggy's. Ahhm allsa fixin' tuh go ahn a mishin'. I caint wait fuh thaat. You know, my parents are converts too? Yeah joined wHen I was fiiive. Muh daddy joined furst, muh momma took awhile, but now muh daddy is a little less active and muh momma has the greatest tistimony in da world."
I could have listened to Jerry all evening, he had such a good heart, I was inspired by him, I'm glad it was him who choose to introduce himself to me. He then showed me his lunch box where he pulled something out. "This is muh 1830 addition book of Moormun. I lawk it better cause they broke up the chapters bigger bayak thean. I read a chapter a naight and it keeps me awhn the good paith. It prepairs me for da mishin. Some nawts I dream dat I go tuh, paris, or london or austrailia, but I'll happily go where ever da Good Lord Sends me."

I had a great day in church, and meeting Jerry made my day worth it. I wished for him the best mission anyone ever has.

My love affair with Kentucky so far was a little attenuated when i got to the campgrounds. They are almost as bad as nashville with almost as bad a price. For ten dollars more I can do motel six. But, I have saved some cash with hospitibul people so I cannot complain. I wished I had invited Jerry to hang out with me more, because tonight is a bit lonely, but..... I can tough it out and see what tomorrow holds. I should be in West Virginia by the evening.

Mark 2: 27

Day 25 Hendersonville T.N. song: Tennessee Zip - Brian Setzer

So I stayed with a couple of guys my friend from Idaho Mark knows. Mark seems to know the swing kings of ever town in America. So I am staying with the swing champions of Nashville. As it turns out, they hardly know Mark. They just offered up a place for me to stay without knowing anything about me other than I know a couple of dance tricks (and I suck at them). I am so impressed at the people who seem to be willing to give me the shirt off their back. I don't know why I have been so lucky with this, and why the swing dancers seem to be the coolest about this sort of thing.

In the morning one of the guys Richard took me to the farmers market where there was swing dancing going on. My intentions were only to eat some soul food and be entertained. Especially because there was all sorts of people watching, I was just going to be a spectator with them. But the dancers seemed so inordinately jubilant when they danced, its almost jarring. Then I thought about how I had the gumption to walk into warner bros. records yesterday looking for a job, but I couldn't muster up the courage ask a good dancer for a dance. Then I thought about Esther the old woman from Denver, and what she would have said if she saw me on the sidelines. So I rubbed my MoJo bag and grabbed me a woman. As soon as I began dancing, every dancer wanted to get to know the new guy. I guess they all knew eachother. Immediately they were trying to help me with my plight and give me connections which they did. And they invited me to social events as well. I can't believe how cool they all were. They made me feel so welcome Oddly enough, the whole time I was learning how to dance, its something I kept very under the radar of all my friends. I didn't want anyone to know. But they are the nicest people and I can't understand why. They live to dance. I really should be proud to announce that I can dance. Consider this my coming out party.

The rest of the day I went to explore Hendersonville, looking for Johnny Cash's home and museum. It turns out Johnny Cash blvd, is no longer really called Johhny Cash blvd on the signs. His home burned down and the museum called "House of Cash," the address took me to a YMCA. I guess his museum no longer exists. I spent about a half hour in the YMCA parking lot trying to think of things that would be more disrespectful to Johnny Cash than a YMCA, I found many that were comparable, but not that many more disrepectful. I started to wonder if I had a friend working for GPS playing an elaborate prank on me sending me on a goose chase. Then I wondered, "why am I so obsessed with Johnny Cash?" I have read his books, I know all his songs and I own a copy of his movie. Isn't that enough? Maybe its time that I stop being the person who when they know me they say, "every time I see or hear Johnny Cash, I think of you." Of course I take it as a compliment, but maybe its time to move on. Or maybe its the rootbeer talking. who knows.

Well, to cap off the day, one of the female dancers I met gave me a lead on a position that will be opening in production on a local tv station. If I get my stuff to the right person, I could have a decent chance at a job. We will see.

scripture: D&C 59:6

Day 24 Nashville T.N. song: Grand Ole Opry Ain't So Grand - Hank Williams 3rd

Today I woke up to the sound of traffic on the freeway on my lame campsite, but with all that nyquil, I was sound as a pound during the night.

I went to the Grand Ole Opry, Oddly enough in the time that I lived in nashville (when I was around 18 years old) I never went there. But they wanted 15 dollars to go in. And I thought, HECK NO, they wouldn't even let Hank Williams or Johnny Cash play there. They didn't let the rebels of country music play there. Just the drug store cowboys. I said the samething to myself when I saw the country music hall of fame. I just didn't feel like going in, it just didn't feel right, but this time, I didn't really have an answer for that.

So in my disgust of the country music scene I went straight to the country music row where it all gets manufactured armed with a Air-check of me ramping up new country music. The contact I had to contact wasn't real good about calling me back, so I had to just go ahead and show up, but to no avail, everybody takes wierd times for lunch breaks in radio I guess. But I dropped off my material and hoped for the best. Then I went to the main drag of music row and parked nearly a mile from it because there is no parking anywhere unless you have a pass. I got lost in the streets on foot looking for music row for a long time in the sweltering heat going up a steep hill. But that didn't matter because out of nowhere it began pooring rain. For those of you from California, you should know that when it rains in the south, its like nothing you'll ever experience in california, its much more intense.
Finally I found GAC (great american country) to try a job with them. They wouldn't let me in the building, I had to talk to a box. They referred me to their website for employment. The problem with that is, almost nobody in several months has ever responded to an e-mail. So I went to sony records, same story, then several other record companies, same story. I decided that receptionists in this town are given a psyche profile test that makes sure they have the ability to behave like lifeless robots. I was getting nowhere in my hours of searching. I didn't know what else to do.
Finally I found a sports radio station, I walked in and immediately was speaking with one of the programmers for the station. He told me the same thing I have known for years, "Radio used to be great until the telecommunications act in '94. Now, one company can own several radio stations in one market. So there has been a slow transition of consolidation and things are being run by business men in New York who don't know a *$*%& thing about radio. That and with this recession, car dealerships are not buying the adversing which was most of everyradio stations revenue. The only way to get in is to start in a small market and work your way up. But most of the small markets are working automation these days. Us radio people are a dying breed, those who are left are getting fed up and the world is just different now. Your probably better off doing something else."
I responded tough, but inside I was feeling emotions of defeat, "Sir, with all due respect, I have more than paid my dues, and nobody is going to scare me out of what it is I want to do. I will not settle for anything less than what I deserve. Thank you for your time."
He came back with, "Now hold on a second, give me that resume and air-check. I want to listen to it, even if it is for a music format. I like you, I shouldn't make you want to give up. Here's my card, call me monday, I'll listen your material and make sure a few others do too. And I want you to e-mail me when you are finished with your journey and tell me what you find. I really didn't mean to scare you off. Keep tryin' you will make it." I have heard that multiple times too.

I walked out to more pooring rain and a mile now from my car in a direction I wasn't sure of. Sure enough like in a movie, a car splashes water all over me, (not that it mattered at that point) then I had a leutenant Dan moment as I shouted at the buildings in Music Row, "Is the best you got! HUH? HUH? BECAUSE I GOT A LOT MORE!!!" Now that I had my little goofy outburst I sat on a bench under a tree while the rain lightened up. I began to take deep breaths and I closed my eyes and said a prayer. When I was done I sat a while longer and pondered until the rain was fully gone. When the sun began to poke its way through, I got up and noticed on the bench an ad for one more station I didn't go to. It was called "Lightning 100" I quikly called 411 and put the address on my GPS and away I went. I went to their building that looked like an old train station that was hit by a missile. they were definately independent, so I had a chance. The receptionist told me,"You know, they are actually thinking they might need a fill in guy. I will pass this on and we'll let you know. Don't give up, you'll find something."

Lightning 100 may not be the answer, who knows? But I felt better after that experience, and since i spent so little that day, I decided to treat myself to dinner at the French Quaters Cafe. This is a place where the tourist don't generally go, and it only plays blues, soul, and Jazz. I was the only white guy there. Its a place I used to hang out when I was 18, probably because its one of the few places and underage guy could go for music and cause I used to play the occasional blues jam. I couldn't believe I used to hang out at a place like that, with so much mojo, now I can see why I am so cool. I had a chill evening with some live soul, a burger and a squirt, and am going to sleep happy. Tomorrow is another day.

scripture: Romans 2:7 "To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality , eternal life."

Day 23 Nashville T.N. song: City Boy - Keb Mo

This morning I was supposed to speak to a radio persona at Flinn broadcasting. He must have forgotten about the appointment because he left early. No worries, I left him my material and I will hope for the best. I can't wait in this area in any longer, I must keep moving.

I drove through the lush state of Tennessee. I stoped for gas in a tiny little truckstop town and I noticed a billboard saying "Loretta Lynn's Dude ranch... 5 miles ahead. I thought to myself, what the heck, why not. I drove out to see it and I am glad I did. I discovered what may be the most beautiful peace of land in existence. Easily the most precious land on this trip. The rolling hills couldn't have been painted better, the trees would make Bob Ross weep, and the little lakes and creeks were mouth watering. I never really knew what I imagined heaven to look like, but now I think it looks like that. Now, I am not the kind of guy who goes all spiritual when I see an impressive sight of nature, I usually just think, "Cool" and move on. But this place almost made me emotional, and there was nobody in sight, it was like I had it all to myself. I half expected to turn around and see Johnny Cash sitting on a stump dressed in white singing, and welcoming me to the kingdom.
I checked the camping rates out there and they were cheap. I heavily considered it, but I decided I am way late on this trip as it is, I must keep going forward, but I will return someday.

I rolled into Nashville KOA and I felt like Micheal Douglas in Falling Down, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 38 DOLLARS FOR A SINGLE CAMPGROUND!!!" The woman said, "because we lawk yoo, were gunna cut choo a deal. We have a storage area you can camp on foh 27 dollars, but cha don't get access to much, would cha lawk thaat?" I didn't have much choice at this point, my place to stay in this town didn't pan out. But the camp site sucked out loud. It was on basically a gravel pile only 5o yards from the freeway over pass. Lesson learned, Never go to the Nashville KOA ever again. Tomorrow I will find another way.

I went to the Main drag of nashville. Because I spent so much money on KOA, I didn't have money for anything else on todays budget. So I found the club where Cross Canadian Ragweed was playing. I love them, and I have never seen them. But I didn't have 15 bucks. So I sat out side and listened to them. Then I found another place across town where GWAR was playing. This was a bit more affordable. But I have a theory about GWAR. You should never watch GWAR a second time. (I saw them ten years ago, and I loved it). So I hit broadway in Nashville. I had a similar feeling that I had in Memphis, I don't know how I loved it so much in the past. Instead of Juke Joints, it was honky tonks. Accept, the Honky Tonks don't play as good music as the Juke Joints. I had no interest in hanging out at the bars. Which is funny because when I lived there at 18 years old, thats all I wanted to do. Nashville seemed like It was one seedy bar after the next with pop country cover bands and women who have an ironic way of dealing with low self-esteem.

So I walked on the river front. The riverfront is awesome. This is the place where I met the girl who gave me my first kiss. So I once had some good luck on this spot. But, then I remembered, it was the girl who wound up with Jim Carrey.
So I met some musicians out there trying to write in their solitude. They were trying to absorb the lonliness and channel it into corny pop country. I would have subtley made fun of them, but then I thought of my own plight and decided I wasn't in a position to make fun.

Anywho, I made some connections that I am going to explore tomorrow..... Thats All I got

Scripture: Romans 9: 22 What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much long suffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction.

Day 22 Tupelo M.S. song: Pink Houses - John Melencamp

You're gonna want to read this one.

I spent most of the day sleeping. I thought today would be completely uneventful. I have been trying to recover from my cold and trying to sleep it to death. Which seemed to be working. Since I was feeling fine, I decided to go to the Elvis museum in Tupelo M.S. where he was born. The museum was pretty cool, a lot of fun. But I got to go in his house, which was only two rooms, and tiny. He lived in a very humble little home in Tupelo, he barey had anything, not even a bathroom. But he seemed to make due. One thing always tripps me out about Elvis is that the people loved him litterally to death. I think he went a bit crazy in the end for a lot of reasons but one is that everyone was so obsessed with every nook and cranny of his life. Yet people don't give up. He makes more dead than I think he did when he was alive. However, there is one thing I have to love about everything is that he is the Ultimate example of the American Dream. He went litterally from rags to riches. And he earned it, and definately paid the price for sucess.

I was also intrigued by the little old woman Gwen who was the lady who waits you're arrival at his house. She was sweet and told me anything about Elvis. She works there simply to be close to the history, she loves it. She loves her job, and thats all there is too it, even though it probably doesn't pay very good, she gets to sit in Elvis's home all day long.

I walked around the back area where there was a park Elvis played at, I hung out there and played my guitar and sang some Elvis my self. I was absorbing the mojo in the air.

I then went back to Memphis, because I have a lead I need to follow there in the morining at a radio station. Also Because, I wanted to watch the Dempseys play. The Dempseys are a rockabilly trio. You hear it from me the musical snob, THEY ARE THE MOST TALENTED BAND I HAVE EVER SEEN NEXT TO VAN HALEN. They litterally have mastered their craft. They are far superior musicians than anybody I have ever seen, I had to take my hat off in their presence. They have an intensity that I can't even fathom, they are the greatest examples of dudes doing what they love for a living, I have ever imagined.

I spoke with them in between sets at the blues city resturaunt. I told them the last time I saw them was when Jim Carrey walked in. (if you don't know the Jim Carrey story, ask me sometime) As soon as I jogged their memory, I had their attention. They wondered about that night. They were amazed to hear me tell the story. The bassist said, "Oh I remember that, you mustuf felt like hail." I suddenly had a wedding singer moment.

They played on through the night and they played willy Nelson's "On the Road Again" for me and the guitarist threw me his pick. I put it in my MoJo bag. Then they decided to bring me up on stage and tell everyone the story."Everybody, this Randy Peterson from SACRAMENTO CALIFORNIA, he's the best looking guy in this place tonight, but does he have some bad luck with the women, he has one great story to tell y'all. And we can vouch this stories authenticity because, we were there."
Mind you.... this was a huge crowd. They set up the story for me and had me tell it and the crowd ATE IT UP. I had so much dang practice telling that story that I had gotten real good at it.
"Better luck this time in Memphis, dang! Its not that he's better lookin' than yoo, its jus that hees got more money. Don't be offended by it. But choo a nice guy with a nice smile, y'oull find someone. Hey everybody, he's SINGLE!." the crowd thundered with laughter, claps and whistles from both women and men. And a multitude of older single women came from nowhere and arose from their tables to get a better shot at me.

One gift I have always had has been the ability to laugh at my own bad luck. Which I guess is a good thing.

scripture 2nd corinthians 7:4 Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my glorying of you:I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation.

Day 21 Clarksdale M.S. song: Crossroads - Robert Johnson

I came out of the camp feeling terrible. Now I am worried about this cold. Its gettin' bad. I am going to need more than some nyquil.

This morning I had a sit down chat with Argo the morningshow host of the Elvis Radio station on XM radio. He said to me, "your air check is great. You have an adequate resume.....Your ready. I'll tell ya, five years ago, what you got would have given you a job. But now.... I don't know how anyone could break into radio. I started 25 years ago doing over night shifts. Now that position doesn't exist anymore anywhere. Season vets are losing their jobs becuase of the economy, internet radio, i pods etc... I don't know if and when it will go back to normal. radio will always be around and they will always need jocks, but the supply and demand will change. Radio is being forced to evolve. As you know it helps to be versatile, which you are, but thats hard knowing you have done it all and there still isn't anything out there. You may have a better shot doing you're own podcast. But you're doing the right thing, you're exploring the country and doing your homework. You come prepared and knowing what to say. I think you are smart and will find something. If I could do what you're doing, I would. But i got a wife and kid. Parties over. One thing you need to ask yourself when you continue your searh is...Why am I doing this? Is it because I want to be a celebrity? or is it because I have something to say?"

I left feeling good that I may be a day late, but it doesn't seem that I am a dollar short. Argo was the first guy to listen to my air check while I was present. He liked it alot. At least I am coming to battle armed.

I moved on the Clarksdale Mississipi on Highway 61, the blues highway. I found where 61 meets 54. This is the crossroads where Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil in exchange for the ability to play guitar. I found out later that this never happend, it was only a rumour he started so people would pack in the clubs he was playing, which it worked like a charm. But I was in for the first time the deep south. I was in the delta. I was possibly the only white guy in this town. I loved it. I was finally in a place that hadn't been turned into a giant white tourist trap that still had history. This is where blues was born. All that stood left of the old town was the remains of a defeated culture that seemed to still be searching for something. You would think I was still in the fifties in this town. Blues was alive and well in the Juke Joints. For those of you who don't know what a juke joint is, its the Black equivelent to a Honky Tonk. Accept, these Juke Joints, were not tourist friendly, they were locals friendly.

They had a little Delta Blues museum. It was the greatest museum I had ever seen. I was moved by it. One thing about the blues you must know is, its the sound of hope. Its the sound that marked the will of the Black communities of the delta, the forgotten people. It was never about whining, it was about saying, I'll be back tomorrow. I will still be standing. Perhaps its why its still alive and kicking. Blues never goes away. Pop comes and goes, but the blues stand for something so much more sacred, a legend, and a legend never dies.

I ate at a soul food place with some real southern sass. The owner Marvin spoke to me, "Don't choo kill 'dem flies... if you do... a thousand of his friends will come for the funeral. You from Sacrameno huh? You long way from home. We take good cair of you heer. you musician? Well you look like one, or an actor. You look like you from hollywood. Eat chyour eggsandwich befoh it goes baad. And good luck on yoh quest, I'm sure you'll find somthin'.

I spoke to the folks at WROX, the first station to ever play just blues. The Programmer Lawrence spoke to me, "Well Keed, I ain't got nothin' foh ya. But choo goud, you goud. Ryte now we do alota voicetrackin' and automashin. We are skeleton staffed, but if I cuud, I would hier you. Don't give up, don't give up, that what seperates the good from the bad. Its foh da love of da music. Radio will alllways be aroun', so don't give up too easy, its been tough on all of us."

I thanked him for his time and moved on. I really liked the town, its unfortunate that its been so dead. I found a clothing store i loved. Its where all the Black folk come to look good on a night on the town. Its the best clothing store, I have ever seen. Its fancy blues clothes. Its called "Super Soul Shop." I guess Elvis Costello and Brian Setzer sometimes shop there. It was owned by two friendly syrian folks who have been selling clothes there for 30 years. They were funny.

Later on that day I decided to find the closest bishop which was close to memphis again to ask for a blessing to get rid of my cold. I think its really helped out. Better luck tomorrow, Tupelo Mississippi.

scripture: TBD

Day 20 Memphis T.N. song: Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley

This morning I woke up to some bad cold symptoms. I have been fighting this ever since I got to Little Rock. Now it began to worry me. Perhaps its the Swine Flu. If thats what it is, this will make an interesting twist on the story. Now its time for drugs and for me to swallow some pride and take some airborne.

My agenda today was to hit the ground runnin' like Van Halen. I had a lead on three radio stations that Eric Hasseltine gave me that I was going to hit up since clear Channel was no longer an option. Unfortunately one thing about the south, the people are very hospitibul, but when it comes to business, they act just as busy as anyone else. Nobody had time to talk to me today. Maybe another time. EVERY DARN STATION.

Since Memphis from front to back seem to have nothing for me, I thought maybe this is just not the place for me. Since I was here, I thought that I would hit up Graceland. Also I was going to camp behind Graceland, with a bunch of rich white Elvis fans with Winnobegos. Unfortunately no one told Coloner Tom Parker and Elvis that we are in a recession. Graceland cost 30 dollars for the cheapest tour. Not in my budget. So I went to Sun Record Studio where Rock n' Roll was born, the price of the tour was affordable, and this is where my day got interesting.

I stood in the very room where Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Roy Orbison, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, B.B. King, Howlin' Wolf, Billy Lee Riley all recorded music. It was like the delivery room for rock n' roll where the infant came out. It had so much mojo that I had to take off my hat. Such amazing history took place that I was nearly speechless. However, my reverence was attenuated upon the observing the Tour guide.

The tour guide was a petite spunky girl from the deep south with sass and wit. Very cute. She knew her facts and was a very gifted tour guide. Which is funny, because I half way went in their to seek a job, but I don't know that I can match her standards. Now, I am old enough to know better than love at first sight, But I know that I got that feeling inside that people get when they confuse that feeling as I watched this chic. She seemed to know more about rock history than I do. And she could play guitar. I felt like I had met my match. I was intimidated, she went from being the girl next door to Cindy Crawford in my head in seconds. I spoke to her for a while and she is a dancer and a dreamer. I know there is no point to think about women on this trip, that is certainly why I am out here, but what the heck. I had nothing left on my agenda for the day, and I have nothing to lose. As scared as I was, I always felt my one skill with girls was never my wit, charm or body language, but my courage to attack, so I just went straight for it and asked. She gave me that look like I had half way made her day, and said, "I really can't, my boyfriend would not be pleased, but thank you soo much for asking."
I left with my shoulders high and grinning. I didn't care in the slightest that I got shot down. I was happy that I got the words out of my mouth. It was like a little moral victory for me to kill the bunny. I felt completely reenergized and ready to get back to work. I know it doesn't make sense, but I really just needed to know that I had the guts to do it. I can still take it. I remembered the quote from Rocky, "Its not about how hard you hit, its about how hard you can get hit, and keep movin' forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. Thats how winning is done." Besides, I didn't have much in my budget for a mini-date anyway.

I found a little shop in the dark outskirts of Memphis where its crawling with dudes who talk to themselves very volatile like. On occasion I would want to break it up, but I didn't know where to stand. The shop was seedy and it was run but a mean old black man. He asked me about what I am looking for and where I am from. When I told him where I am from I asked him about him. He said, "My name is JOHNSON." He followed that by an awkward pause and an ominous look. I asked him if he sold MoJo. He said, "Yeah we got Mojo. What you need it foh?" I replied immediately with, "I am a drifter looking for a home." He grinnned and sold me a little bag full of roots and herbs and gave me the proper instruction. He then sold me some voodoo oils called "love potion number nine, Cross Roads and Find me a Job." "This should help ya fynd what yo lookin' foh. I got a feelin' 'bout you, you gonna do real goud. Don't settle for anything that don't make ya happey." I thanked Johnson and went on my way. I really don't have much faith in voodoo, but carrying some MoJo in my left pocket won't hurt any, I actually think it gave me some street cred, and seperated me from the rich white tourists.

I thought a lot about Elvis and Johnny Cash as I walked the streets of Memphis. They were no overnight sensation at all. Much like Buddy Holly, they had a lot of hard nights of hopelessness. But they never let up or gave up hope. They were talented yes, but not everyone was able to see that. I really think at the end of the day, what seperated Elvis and Johnny Cash from everyone else is heart. They had more heart than anybody, they believed in themselves, because if they didn't, no one else would. Their passion led them to greatness. I felt their ambition and spirit as I absorbed the atmosphere in Memphis.

I capped the night back at the campground right behind Graceland and the Heartbreak hotel in a little pic nic area that constantly plays Elvis music. Its awesome. I then recieved an e-mail from the program director in from the Classic Rock station in Little Rock. He was very impressed with my demo reel. He was sorry to inform me, he had nothing to offer me. But he wanted to let me know if he does get any opening, he promises to let me know. All in all, I thougt it was a great day. I look forward to facing my fear and working one more day in Memphis. Tomorrow is another day.

scripture 1st Corinthians 9:10

Day 19 Memphis T.N. song: Home of the Blues - Johnny Cash

This has thus far been the hardest part of the trip. The place I was most excited to see of anywhere in the country, has been the place where I have most felt like I just need to pack up and move on.

Perhaps its the fact that I hadn't seen the sun since I entered east texas that is getting to me, but I get bad vibes from the Memphis area oddly enough. Maybe it is the memories of when met Jim Carrey here six years ago that haunt me.

Today I really wanted to be with my mother for Mother's Day. I really feel like I need to be a better son to her. She of course wants me to call her everyday. That is a bit much for me, but, she gave me life and lots of support, I only hope I can make this one up to her.

Tonight I was going to watch a band play in downtown Memphis called the Dempsey's. The greatest rockabilly band I have ever seen. This is my one chance to see them. However, its sunday, I know that if I walked in that cafe where they are playing, I would then truley be alone. Its hard enough as it is right now. I don't need that, the memories I have of the band will have to be enough for me.

I went to the singles branch of church a little out of town. I was recognized by a couple of fellow byu students as "the Johnny Cash guy". I told my situation to the priesthood brethren asking for a place to stay, (I didn't want to where out my welcome at the last place, besides, it may not have been the best place for a Mormon boy). Not only was I given a great place to stay with a couple of really nice and hospitibul guys, but I also got a connection to the morning show host of the number one radio station in Memphis.

I got words with the radio host Mr. Tew, and he said, "This is as bad as I have ever seen it. The radio business is shriveling up. I have just watched some very talented and experienced men lose their jobs. This is the worst time. Plus this market doesn't pay well. (which is actually what the voice of the Memphis Grizzlies told me as well). You might want to think of another profession." Hearing that after all I have worked for, for so many years is hard, but I knew what was ahead of me when I took this trip. I bought the land, I will accept the Indians. I told him, "I know, I have heard that for several months, and in person for nearly three weeks almost daily. But if I'm going out, I am going out swinging." He replied with, "I like you're attitude, I think you may actually find your way, I got a hunch." We left it at that.

Today I felt something I have never felt before on this trip. Fear. I felt real humility and heartache. This is the first time thus far I have felt the need to dig down and really motivate myself to keep on going strong. But this is what I wanted, to be tested. Unfortunately for me, I have never really been that tested to find a job. I have gotten every job I have ever had with absolute ease. Managing Jackie Greene, CBS Radio, Guitar Instructor, News Director, these are incredible jobs that I didn't deserve but I found my way into for some reason. I am deciding to give Memphis one more day, to see Sun Studio and maybe Graceland and really push my way into the door in radio and T.V.
Like I told the host of the Country morning show, and like Gene Groupa said to Benny Goodman at the carnegie hall, "If I'm going out, I'm going out swinging."

scripture: 1st Nephi 2: 4

Day 18 Memphis T.N. song: Thunderstorms and Neon Signs - Wayne Hancock

Today Matt took me to see an the old mill that was used in "Gone with the Wind". Its amazing, it almost looks as if Disney created it, only its real, its there right next to a lagoon with bridges made of concrete trees. If your ever in Little Rock, you gotta visit that.

I left Little Rock reluctantly. I had a pretty stable place to sleep, not that others hadn't offered that, but Matt and Robyn where the only people I knew the home owners ahead of time, and who knows when i will see them again.

But, little Rock is really bad for my allergies. I used to be a little impatient with peoples allergies in Sacramento. Now I understand what it is like. All the green and blossoming that goes on in the Natural State is enough to kill someone. Part of me was relieved to leave.

Cruzin' into Memphis was like comin' home..... Sort of. I immediately hit up Beale street where all the magic happens and it was PACKED. I have never seen Memphis so alive as I did this saturday. With great bands filling up every club and a ton of bands right outside the clubs. The street was bumpin. There was the most roughed up soulful blues sextet outside the Rum-Boogie cafe that I just dug. I really don't know how to describe their southern backwater authenticity, but they had some serious JuJu on their side. I danced the blues with an older woman named Yolanda, who while we were dancing loved to shout out arbitrarily things like, " Say YEAAAHHH" (which I responded with "yeeeeh) and she also would say, "Dance it White boy" and "You betta be cairful or I'ma gonna take you home wit me, heh HAAAAGGHHH". I rather enjoyed myself.

I capped off the night by watching a band called "Appetite for Destruction" an authentic Guns n' Roses tribute act. They sounded perfect. They nailed every note and every look and motion that is Guns n' Roses...... Accept they didn't feel as dangerous as Gn'R. Almost like they don't come from the same sewer, and maybe they have day jobs. Never the less, they rocked.

As good as a time it was out there, I noticed something funny. I didn't like it as much as I did when I was 19 years old. What seemed like my personal disney land was now much more in resemblance of the great and spacious building that has no foundation. It wasn't as much like coming home as I once hoped it would be.

Oddly enough I stayed with a well known Radio celebrity around these parts. The voice of the memphis grizzlies. He is a really nice guy and pretty hospitibul.

Scripture: 1st Nephi 8:30

Day 17 Little Rock A.R. song: We Want the Airwaves - The Ramones

Matt and his wife Robyn took me to the famous Peabody Hotel in downtown Little Rock. They have these ducks that they bring into their large fountain. Everymorning at 11:00 a.m. they ceremoniusly bring them out to the pond. Led by a man who is dressed like he is Prince William's PR guy. These ducks follow him along the red carpet into the nice fountain. I was surrounded by a multitude of senior citezens in tourist clothes where I heard them murmur, "Isn' that somthin'?" and "My wife finally trained me to be like that." I had to hold my laughter in, because for some reason, I wanted to burst into loud laughter.

Immediately afterwards, we joined a massive gathering of locals to greet a welcome home to hometown celebrity Kris Allen from American Idol, one of the 3 finalist so far in American Idol. The locals went crazy for him, chanting his name as he came out on stage and sang us a couple of tunes. He is probably the biggest celebrity from Arkansas since Bill Clinton.

Covering the Event was every local news station. I went and spoke to the reporter for channel 7. She gave me about 25 seconds of her time and told me, "It's all about bein' at the raught place at the raught time." As I was walking away timidly, Robyn encouraged me to talk to one more station. I was too shy, but she reminded me of why I came out and told me it will be o.k. So I approached the Cute, blonde reporter Ashley from channel 11 news. She gave me as much time as I wanted. She spoke with me and told me, "You're doin' the raught thang. It's just soooo haard to break in this businuss. But its really a great job, and once you're ENN, YOU'RE ENN. I'll watch your reel and I'll e-mail you what I think. Good luck on your trip, you're livin' the dream."

I have found it funny how I have heard much of the same lines over and over again. But I know she meant them. If it wouldn't have cheapened me, I would have asked her if I could buy her dinner, but I smiled and shook her hand. And told her thanks for her kindness. Aside from Ben's cousin, thats the only person in T.V. that would talk to me.

We then tagged a couple more radio stations. One where the Program Director would have met with me, but he had a seven hour on air shift ever since Clear Channel went on a firing spree. He didn't really have much time for me. But, the classic rock station once again seemed intrigued. The receptionist whispered to me that the night time jock position may be opening real soon. They seemed real excited to give me some feed back and maybe more. It's been real fun seeing how everyone I meet seems to be behind me all the way with my journey.

We capped the night off with a double A baseball game. The Little Rock Travelers vs. The Tulsa Drillers. The ball park was awesome it has a perfect view of the city in the background, the weather was absolutely perfect, in fact, it was girlfriend weather. Except I was with Matt, which was just fine with me. But there is just something about a baseball game at night that is like nothing else, I wish I was a real writer so I could encapsulate my true feelings of the sights and smells and exitement of a professional baseball game. At the end of the game we walked out and they cranked on the speakers Bob Dylan singing, "Like a Rollingstone". With the night air being amazing I felt like a million bucks.

Little Rock is a great town to raise a family in, it seems to hold a certain value that other big cities just seemed to lose sight in. I don't know what it is like for a single guy, but it seems very family oriented.

Scripture: 1 Timothy 3:4-5