Day 67 Chino Hills CA song: Help Me Make It Through The Night - Kris Kristofferson

Axel Rose once sang, "Its hard to keep an open heart, when even friends seem out to harm you, but if you could heal a broken heart, wouldn't time be out to charm you."

It took me a long time to really figure what that meant. I think I get it now. Of course, what idiot would take a pearl of wisdom from a disturbed man like Axel Rose. But sometimes I believe its those who suffer the most, understand love the most.

This morning I woke up feeling sick and in pain. So checked back into my remedies of a good ole fashion visit from Mr. Heartache. When you get the blues you gotta do what Johnny Cash would do. And that is get rhythym. I was about to call up my old band "CASH ONLY" the Johnny Cash tribute and book us a HUGE show that was going to wake up Sacramento and let be aware of my arival back home. Then somehow I stumbled onto another Johnny Cash Tribute band in Sacramento called Cash Only. They are really good. Far better than my band, and that is NOT being modest. Somehow in the time that I was gone in Idaho and not playing many shows, they took my spot in the Johnny celebration. That hurt. Musically, that band was all I had left. I guess thats one more thing to move on from.

I checked on-line for the jobs that had recently opened in So-Cal. There were many that match what I am looking for. Except nearly all of them require more experience than I got. One thing about this economy is, that employers are not hiring college grads like they used to. Now they are hiring the most experienced, which in broadcasting is a ton of people. L.A. is probably the most competitive job market for Broadcasting in the United States. Thats not what I need right now to finish off this trip. I searched for hours and I have a few things, but thats not the most pressing thing on my mind.

I stayed last night with my cousin Pamela and her husband Paul. They were very good to me, they gave me a bed and fed me some of the best food ever. I hadn't seen them in ten years, but they never forget that we are family. I really love them. But the biggest treat is that I have never met thier four year old daughter. The daughter calls me Uncle Rockin' Randy. I guess she has watched my videos and thinks of me as a star. Its cute, she is the cutest girl I had ever seen. Full of fun and life.

In the evening I was trying my hardest game face not to think much about the hard times. I was praying for an angel to come and take the pain away...... I think that I got my answer to my prayer. I was sitting outside and out comes my little four year old neise Jackalyn. She came and just sat with me and cuddled with me. I have only known her for just some hours and she loved me unconditionally. I felt the same, I guess thats a family thing. But she couldn't have known what was in my head, I had a good poker face. But she came and comforted me anyway. She taught me patty cake and I read a book to her and colored with her. Then we watched some cartoons and she watched the Office with me. She just enjoyed my company.
What you must know is, I was the youngest in my family. And because I am a dude, nobody ever asks me to baby sit. I have never been comfortable around little children. I never know what to do or say. But, This time, it came naturally. I was very happy. She helped me make it through the night.

scripture: Mosiah 4:11