Day 16 Maumelle AR song: Here I Go Again- White Snake

This morning Ben and I left the town of Cut and Shoot where on the table Ben's wonderful Aunt left us both a fifty. This kind of thing makes me feel like I am giving someone some hope, because they are certainly giving it to me. We drove out back to Ben's home in nameless piece of land beyond Gladewater T.X. It was really great to have a travel companion for a while, someone to help bounce some thoughts with and to show me some things I didn't know were even there. Not to mention being chauferred around. Now because of Ben's help, I can extend my trip at least 3 and a half days. I now owe him a chauferring around my neck of the woods, when ever I find a home, and I really hope he takes me up on that favour. Then i could be his seedy travel companion.

But now I am back on my own again.

I spent a lot of time in Texas and as much as I didn't want to leave, I have the whole rest of the country to see. As soon as I rode in to Arkansas the atmosphere changed. Arkansas doesn't have the excessive testosterone that Texas has. I went from seeing an endless supply of Texas flags, gun shops, Harely Davidson Distributers and Hooters Restaurants, to a lot Large Baptist Churches and billboards advertising being saved, and reminding me Jesus Lives. Certainly, I know I am in the Bible belt country, but it seems to be much more prevelent in Arkansas than Texas just by starring off the freeway. I hear that Alabama is the buckle of the Bible belt, so I am really excited to see it.

This is the absolute GREENEST place I have been to on the trip, its even greener than Northern California. Arkansas is known as the "Natural State", which is perfect because I am staying with one of the healthiest people I have ever known. I am staying my Old friend Matt who worked at CBS with me. He was the engineer, but now he works for his church doing missionary work and planning large events and such. He always took a sort of moral mentor figure with me in radio. He is a great guy to know, its too bad he moved all the way to Arkansas, but now I have a great friend in Arkansas. Tomorrow we got a lot of fun stuff planned which is good, I get to see the delightful town of Little Rock.

Scripture: 2nd Nephi 2:8

Day 15 Corpus Christi T.X. song:Beautiful Girls - Van Halen

David Lee Roth said in the song Beautiful Girls, "I got my drink in my hand and my toes in the sand, all I need is a beautiful girl."..... Unfortunately I was with Ben, my seedy travel companion. Still though, Corpus Christi was massive compared to what I imagined. I really didn't know what to expect, but it is nice. I didn't really ever think of the beach while in Texas, but a large portion of Texas in on the Gulf of Mexico. The beach is really nice. In fact, Corpus Christi is one of the nicest beach towns I have ever seen, maybe the best, if not close.

I'll tell ya, if you ever had your doubts about Jimmy Buffet's music, don't judge until you have been to Corpus Christi, it sounds a lot better out there on the Gulf of Mexico. However I was dissapointed that even in Corpus Christi, Kenny Chesney still Sucks out loud..... go figure.

One Thing I realize is that I am not much of a big beach guy. I honestly feel time goes backwards out in the beach. The beach was nice to look at. I was excited to go but i had to buy some shorts that I got at Wal-Mart. To save money I bought a pair of shorts from the kids Isle made for really fat kids. When we got to the beach, it was windy and not that fun. We looked about town and decided, this wasn't a place I was too interested in shopping my resume around. As nice as the town was, I am not that interested in living by the gulf. When I was on the beach, I realize I get nothing done, and I don't feel that I really need the beach to unwind. This trip is an adventure and not a vacation, out in Corpus Christi, it feels like a vacation. So we moved on pretty quick.

Tonight we are staying north of Houston. We had no desire to really see the main drag of Houston, even though the Houston Rockets are pretty hot right now. We are staying with Ben's aunt's home. She runs a real Texas family home. Its out in the woods a bit and has a bit of a rustic cowboy flavour, its a town called Cut and Shoot. Its a real treat for me, I don't get much of this where I am from.Ben's Aunt was especially kind. She Told me, "Good for you for doing this trip, your livin' the dream. When you get older an' start havin' kids, you caint do this sorta thang. Good luck to ya." Said with a sweet texas Accent. I find it funny when a person with a family tells me that kind of thing, I always thought that a home and a family was living the dream.

Tomorrow I move on to Arkansas. I have been in Texas over a week, its time to move on.

Scripture: Alma 9-28

Day 14 San Antonio T.X. song: Is Anybody Going to San Antone - Charlie Pride

This morning I played the Legendary Gruene Hall in Gruene Texas (pronounced Green). This is the oldest country dance hall in texas and one of the oldest in America, built in 1909. Many great artists have recorded live albums there. The town of Gruene is by far my favorite little town thus far. A bit of a touristy place but not real well known.

I stopped by the Outlaw country station in the next town over called New Braunfel. I spoke with the program director who was excited to hear my story. She like everyone, didn't have time to listen right then, but I could tell she was intrigued. She gave me the look like I was a sign of hope. She told me, "Don't, Don't Don't give up. You are coming at this in the worst time ever, but I think you will make it through. You got some bawlls to do what y'er doin'. I will definately get in contact with you later. Thank you for comin' by."
I have found that I have put a lot of smiles on the faces of radio broadcasters by telling them what I am doing. I'm glad to know that the people on the inside are rootin' for me.

In San Antonio we saw the Alamo. A monument to a battle lost by the United States of America to the Mexican's. It's really actually pretty depressing, but now I get what they mean by "remember the Alamo." But this is what made it an interesting place to visit during Cinco De Mayo. San Antonio is the only town that had a healthy amount of Tex Mex that I had been lookin' for. The texas pride was a little less in your face, and it felt a little less touristy.

We saw the river walk, which is really great, except I was with a dude. It's not a real cool place for a couple of dudes. The weather was also at 90 percent humidity on a 96 degree day. Since we didn't want to be in the main drags of San Antone while the party hit, we heard the party scene in San Antone for holiday's had been very much effected by the economy.

We stopped at a resturaunt to eat, it was at a seafood place called "Dicks". The dude at the bar kept making inappropriate jokes about us. He then proceeded to have us sit at a table and gave us some gay jokes. Ben and I decided to leave angrily, we were their only customers and they had the audacity to deliberately insult us when all we wanted to do is eat. A cook came out after us asking if their was anything we could do, and I replied, "Its too late for that."

Later we found out that "Dicks" is a chain and the idea is that you are supposed to get insulted by the employees, and you as the customer are supposed to give it right back.

So my seedy travel companion Ben and I went to see the San Antonio Temple and then to the LDS Institute to see what they might be doing. Unfortunately we came up with nothing, but I realize how good it is for me to have Ben for this stretch of Texas, he can keep me out of trouble.

Ben graduated a semester before I did. He had a job in D.C. that fell from under his feet right before it was go time. He has also been trapped hitting the pavement from this recession. He is really hoping and praying for the best as well, but eventually it seems to ware on his how much of an uphill mountain this could be. Him and I are both heavily considering the Military as an avenue of employment for the next stretch of our lives. Not something we wanted to do originally, but everyday it seems to look better.

Ben and I had a couple of deep discussions about our plight and our generation, and decided that one of the biggest problems of our generation is people's refusal to grow-up and become an adult. I felt bad, I wonder how much time did I spend in La La land trying to figure out what it is I wanted, or how much time I am spending now.

Jarrod's Aunt in San Antonio put us up for the night. She is an absolute delight and gave us beds. I cherish every bed I get on this trip. But I seem to get more beds than I don't. Sheila (Jarrod's aunt) insisted that she gave me 40 dollars for gas on the road. When I tried not to let her she told me, "No, I admire what you're doing, I was young too once, I want you to make it, and to really find what it is you're looking for."

I have heard that sentence a lot on this trip. I really hope not to dissapoint anyone.

Tomorrow we have another place to stay in Corpus Christie. Wish me Luck.

scripture: Samuel 3:19 "And Samuel grew and the Lord was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground."

Day 13 Austin T.X. song: Straight to Hell - Drivin' and Cryin'

I slept last night in an area, that has no name, but is near Gladewater TX. My old roomate Ben from BYUI wanted to come along with me on the trip and drive me to south east Texas. For those of you who have read Jack Keroac's novel "On The Road", Ben is like my Dean Moriary, my seedy travel companion.

He also gave me my first road connection to a woman in TV broadcasting. I spoke with this woman who had formally been in broadcasting and is no longer in the business, but she was able to give me sound advice that I have never recieved before in the world of broadcasting. For one, I may chew on the idea of selling my latin roots by going by the name Randy Casteneda (Mother's maiden name). Many other great hints as well. I am starting to get a little more key information to tell me how to sell and how to search out where I am going.

Ben and I got a late start to Austin. We checked out the University of Texas, which is massive. It makes my alma mater seem more like a highschool. And when I walked the halls, I didn't feel too much older than everybody.

We also got to check out what is know to be the highest Bat population in all of the United States fly over a park for hours.

We spent most of the day getting lost even with our GPS but I think we got about as much out of town as we wanted. The town is very big, and real pretty. Its easy to walk the streets. However, people have been telling me for years I would love Austin. They say its very liberal and has a great music scene. As I walked the main drag where the music scene is, I thought about how people told me, "Randy, Austin is soooo you!", I began to wonder what it is I seem to stand for. Was it all the tatoo parlours and bars that made people say that? I really don't know. This made me write down that I need to evaluate some things about me later.

We checked out 6th street where all the music happens. It must have been white blues trio night, because we saw about six bands and five of them where white blues trios. I realize it only a monday night, but if I was to move to a place based entirely on the music scene, Austin I do not think would be the place. However this is place is very cool and the weather was beautiful, I may love it for other reasons, if I could give it a chance, but I didn't get that innate sense when I come into a city that I feel like i could someday call it home.

Anywho, tomorrow is another day. Lets see what San Antonio has in store.

Scripture: proverbs 20:27 "The Spirit of man is the candle of the Lord, searching all the inward parts of the belly."

Day 12 Allan T.X. song: Just What I Needed - The Cars

Spent the morning visiting with Jarrod's parents. They made me the best breakfast I have ever had. Sausage, pancakes, eggs, cheese, fruit everything. We sat and talked about life, religion and work. It was just what I needed. They have a real comforting wisdom of Mormon and Texan mixed in one that serves up a heartwarming conversation. They let you feel comfortable real fast.

Church in Allen was about as good as a church experience as I have ever had. Fast and Testimony meetings happen every first Sunday. They are usually notorious for a bunch of single adults getting unnecessarily emotional and being incohesive in their thought process. This week however, I managed to hear something much more inspiring than that, I heard real passion in their words that told me, they didn't only have hope, but they also had wisdom. The branch presidents words spoke right to me, he like all the rest of us, has had his hard knocks and has lived to tell about his triumphant return. Its really pretty funny, between sunday school and priesthood, their wasn't anything new that I heard or even taught better, but it was that it sounded different, so I was able to hear it. Its funny how I can come to a different place, with different people, but all the blues are the same and all of the Gospel is still the same. I had those goosebump feelings that one gets when he hears things for the first time in the Gospel, almost as if my heart was being woken up. I have been a fully active member for a long long time, there is no reason for me to have these experiences that one gets after a long time gone. The only thing I can reason with is that my plight has made me think of other things that I had neglected for a long time.

Of course, I am not trying to convert or inandate anybody with my religion on this blog, its not what this is for. But this is however what is honestly stirring in my life and I am very convinced that for this trip to be a successful one, I have to make sure I live my beliefs and keep the Sundays as Holy as I can. They are a day for me to relax, realign and recharge. If I don't do it this way, I will be alone on this trip, and it will get lonely real fast.

I left Allen T.X. in the evening and said goodbye to Jarrod's family. They offered for me to come back and stay anytime I want. Jarrod's father Jim even offered me a place to get a job at his employment and GMAC until I find what I am really looking for. They wanted me to know that theirs is a place I can call home. They brought me in almost as if I was their son in no time. They sent me with food and wished me the best of luck..... You know..... I may not find whatever it was I am looking for..... but, it seems as though I might be finding things that are much better.

scripture: Genesis 2:2-3 And on the seventh dayGod ended his work which he had made' and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

And God blessed the seveth day, and sanctified it; because that in it he had rested from all his work whcih God created and made.

Day 11 Dallas T.X. song :So Hard to Find My Way - Jackie Greene

I left Fort Worth reluctantly, I had a good time with McKenzie and her family and I really liked Fort Worth. To tell you the truth, I had no real interest in Dallas.

Dallas was the only definative appointment I have and will have this whole trip. One of my dear friends Jarrod got married and he wanted me to D.J. the wedding reception. I used to be a professional DJ, I didn't really like it that much, only on the occasion when I had a friend with me. But I used to do weddings for my friends all the time for free. It seemed like a good idea until every friend I knew got married and called me up. I vowed some where along the way I would never do that again, but, it was Jarrod, who knows if I ever get to see him again. Besides, if I don't land a job soon enough, I may be trying to go back to being a DJ for some cash.

But Jarrod and Sarah looked so happy, I have known those two for a while and I know they will make it. Jarrod is very loyal to her and unselfish. He listens to her, I guess thats really the key, and what it takes to be a man. I only hope to be close to as good as a husband as I suspect he will be.

I spent most of the day with Jarrod's family and friends. I really got along well with them, I had a great time. They made me feel at home right away.

At some point I was trapped in cars where serious discussions of politics surrounded me. Being a Californian in Texas, you can only imagine how that went for me. Thats one thing I will have to get used to if I live in Texas. I chose the high road and didn't say a word, I just listened, besides, what do I know about politics, much less the politcians.

Also you can imagined many discussions of love and relationships were also discussed. Once again, a discussion I can be uncomfortable with, for completely different reasons. Everyone has the all encompassing answer. And they are all different from one another. Everyone is an expert, based entirely on their few sucess or failure stories. I guess that also somewhere in the back of mind as well. When I see these small towns that I consider as a place to live, am I going to be able to find someone there? What am I doing all this for? Is it for me, or is it for my future family? Where is that balance of what is important?

I could ask advice and recieve advice from just about anyone, but nothing they say can matter. not even words of gentle encouragement. Its all white noise now. I guess only I could figure out my way. The only thing I want more than to be a professional broadcaster is a professional husband. Its this thought that makes this journey often times difficult.

But I have found the endless highways, to be a great place for me to think and ask questions to the one person to whom I can fully trust. The Road has become my Fortress of Solitude or sacred grove. I guess there was some truth to the miscellaneous thought that, this trip is not about the finish line, its about the journey. I would hate to make a corny story of self discovery, but I guess that is what a Vision Quest is, an ultimate finding on personal enlightenment. Because at some point, you have to find your way.

Henry B. Eyring once said, "the Gospel of Jesus Christ is set up so that we embrace change." ....roughly

scripture: Alma 12:9

Day 10 Fort Worth song: God Bless Texas - Little Texas

Staying with my good friend McKenzie from school. She has been the first familiar face I have seen this entire journey. It was a nice relief. Her and I have a lot of the same friends, graduated at the same time, and belong to the same religion. Other than that, we are two completely different individuals. However, as Roger Clyne once wrote, "red boy, white boy, black boy, we all get the same blues." What we also have in common is the struggle to find good employment in a place where we want it. Its often times hard to get even just an interview with a place that we are way over qualified for. We also don't have to stay with our parents for the time being. But, what choice do we have these days.

McKenzie took me around Fort Worth. And I'll tell you some things about Texas if you have never been. Country music really sounds better when your in Texas. But not the sissy Rascal Flatts and Keith Urban country, but the outlaw texas country. Its like hearing birds chirping in the forest. Its the music's natural habitat. The sound just adds to the landscape.
The other thing about texas, is that they are very pro-texas. I have seen more Texas flags out here than I have seen people. I guess I should have suspected, but way more so than I ever could of imagined. The Texas flag is the Coca-Cola of Texas, on a much bigger scale. I am not sure if that is a tourist thing to make you like the place more. Or if there local pride is so strong, that it just comes off comical. But it is in every nook and cranny in Texas. They even have a pledge of allegence that they make their public schools say along with the U.S. pledge of allegiance. If I didn't know any better, I would think there is some barracks being formed some where that have dudes ready to arm themselves for when Texas sucedes from the Union. Civil War 2. This would not be the place to say anything bad about George W.

Most of the schools out here in Fort Worth have been cancelled due to fear of the new Swine Flu. I guess its the rage out here. Being on the road I haven't heard much about whats going on, but I guess I should be worried, but I don't have the patience to let a pandemic spoil my trip, not at this point.

McKenzie took me to a place called the Stock Yard, which is old west cowboy sort of drag that is filled with shops that sell Texas paraphelia and bars that only serve Jack Daniels. They have also some bulls that walk the streets twice a day and some other tourist trap stuff. I absolutely loved it. I bought into it, its fun. Just meandering about the town I fell in love with it almost instantly. This is the first place, I can imagine calling home some day. The town of Fort Worth is big, but not too big and its clean. Its the cleanest and safest and has the most character of any town I had ever been to.

We capped off the night by going to a place called Billy Bob's - the Worlds Largest Honky Tonk. There we watched a band play some serious wanking country on a real professional level, and we saw a bull ride/ rodeo. We had a pretty fun time together. Billy Bob's is a real trip. Its a bar technically, but they have children there. They have video games, pool tables slot machines, dance floor, and a bar b que eating area. They serve lots of alcohol, but it comes with a real family vibe....so to speak. The bulk of the crowd was scantilly clad country women with their western wear boy friends being proud to show off their girl showing off. Its really amusing to watch.

Just before the we walked out and said to ourselves, "we can now say we have been to the worlds largest Honky Tonk," we ran into a girl from a radio station I had just applied to that morning. She works from the promotions division and is hoping to get on air soon. She only had her job about a month, (which gives me hope that someone is hiring) and I told her what I was doing and she was slightly intrigued and was willing to listen to my air-check (demo). Then we talked shop about the music format they play which is Texas country. As it turns out, we listen to all of the same music and hate the same music. This was really good. She told me she would make sure her boss listens to the demo I sent him and that she would have some of the jocks give it a listen. She then told me, "your doing the right thing, sittin' on your parents couch gets you no where. You gotta jus meet people and network and git someone to lyke yoo. Just keep at it, I am happy to be doing something I love, I am doing much better than my friends who graduated from school right now. I just got out there and met the right people until I found my way. Good luck, I hope you find what y'er lookin' for." I formally introduced myself at this point and she did as well, she told me her name is "Becca Hardick" but she emphansized both syllables slowly in her last name . "Thats my honest to goodness name, not a radio name, Now, you will ne'er forgit it." She was right about that. I was glad to meet Ms..... Becca.

I had another good day, I had a lot of fun, and I made a decent connection. Not too shabby for one day in town. And it was really nice to have someone to share the experience with this time. We will see what Dallas holds for me.

Scripture: Enos 1:12