A Letter To Bob Dylan

Love Is the Road - Roger Clyne

2010-04-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

On february 14th I had my girlfriend believe that we couldn't see one another. I had her believe that work was bogging me down and I couldn't afford a ticket out. The story was certainly credible, aside from the money I swore not to touch until my retirement, I had nothing in the bank. I have been filling up the hole in savings account that I left when I went on the road and paying off my student loans before the interest tags an extra four grand. And after only having my job for two months with Intel, flying out to see her was not a good idea to risk what might look bad.

I was blessed with a job working for a company called CDI which is an outsourced client of Intel... so basically I work for Intel now. I am on an on-line video production manager. The title actually sounds more intense than it deserves. Not to down-play my position. I am very grateful. I get to appear on camera and do video editing work and be creative. I get to interview individuals who are innovators in the computer tech world. I get to travel and meet some interesting individuals. For the most part I seem to be respected in my position which is terrific. And the best part is, the pay is such that it is concieveable that I can support someone else as well.

The deal is so good that I would hate to mess it up by flying out to Albuquerque when I might be needed on the Folsom C.A. Especially as a fresh out of college hire. However, it is time.

"I have paid my dues, time after time. I've done my sentence but committed no crime. And that mistakes, I have made a few. I have my share of sand kicked in my face, but I have come through." - Freddie Mercury

My girl friend Michelle's mother picked me up from the airport. She helped me create the rouse to help me make Michelle believe i couldn't come out for Valentines Day. Because if she knew... she might have expectations. With Michelle, the element of surprise is everything.

Her favorite resturaunt not far off the path of Route 66 called the Flying star. A very retro sixties resturant, (but not the dennys soda jerk type) but a really cool place that is somewhat for a conosuer, but not a snob. The whole resturaunt knew, when the inquisitive waitresses spread the word. They watched me shake so much I began to sweat from it. When Michelle arrived in the Flying Star on Valentines day, she was still trying to pass the time to try and forget that Valentines day was being spent on her own. I can see her from a distance and I can tell she has no idea as she stands in line to make her order. Knowing the second she sees me she will figure it out, so I had to act instantly. As I cut in line from the guy wearing punk rock freedom spikes and chains, I bow to one knee right behind my unsuspecting girlfriend. She turned around shocked and hysterical.

When the moment was over, I lifted her up as we recieved a large round of applause by the flying star employees and some customers. She was crying when I showed her the very southwestern style engagement ring. She loved it. I did well.

Michelle is the perfect woman for me. Right now, I have a full time job that isn't dead end. I have a woman. I have direction. And I found that I was right. I feel like Freedom is only just beggining. I don't think that Marriage and career and religion bars freedom... but it enables it. The adventures are only to begin. July 3rd, Albuquerque NM Temple.

If I didn't take that road trip, Michelle and I would have never come together, and my path would not have led me to Intel..... Funny how it all works out.

"Funny how everything was roses, when we held on to our guns." - Axl Rose

3 and a half months later Song: We are the Champions - Queen

2009-11-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I attended my ten year highschool reunion. Mostly People go who have something to show off. Of course, I had my beautiful lady with me. But I had no job to speak of. However I had a good time, mostly because I was hyped up on pain killers and using a cane to support my busted leg. Don't worry the leg is fine and going to a reunion was no sweat, nobody cared who was doing what, we were all just happy to see eachother.

After the reality show thing went under, I hit the market again looking for work. I found a position with a company called CDI (who works for Intel). They created a job around me using my video/broadcasting skills and creativity. However, months went by and I got no call. So, I began the search all over again. I had interest with CNN to whom I made a wonderful contact with. I also had other places I had good contacts with, but the truth is... I just didn't have enough experience.

I also interviewed for a part time position with my old job at KNCI. I was looking forward to it, I would get to work with some old buddies of mine and really get my foot back in the door of radio. but I interviewed with my old boss Mark, To whom is a black hole to wear good ideas and energy go to die. After that draining experience, I decided I can't go back home. I can still do radio. I don't think radio is dead, I think it is just building something new right now and some stations won't survive, but the ones that do, will catch fire. Radio will be around, but right now is just not the time that I can tap into it. And my old boss is not an individual who will help radio evolve. Radio is not the place where I can thrive right now, but someday it will be.

I had a few connections to the broadcasting industry in Idaho TV. I thought I can hone my skills in the begginner market like George from Kansas City advised for me. So I interviewed at two stations. One, interview I felt I did really well, the other I am not so sure. But just after I interviewed with one company, the other.... Time will tell. But I won't know for a few weeks.

However, all of that is irrellevent. I finally got the call from CDI (INTEL) and was offered the job to be the Online Video Content Manager. I couldn't be happier. Its a job that really allows me to be creative and fun and still move forward with my broadcasting skills. I won't lose time with radio or TV. But that may not matter because, I may really like this job. Besides, it was never about being a famous person, its only about loving what I do for living. I think this job has all the potential to help me love what i do for living. It will require a little bit of traveling, which you all should know how much I love that. It also requires me to learn a lot of great tricks to be marketable to a lot of businesses. I couldn't be more pleased.

I want to thank everyone for this. To the individuals who let me stay in their homes. To those who fed me. To those who spent time to talk with me, to those who gave me inspiration and hope, to those who read my blog, to those who I call friend or family. I thank you for all that you did. Maybe the trip didn't ultimately equate to a job, and that is fine. I think it did lead me on the path that got me the job, and that path and ain't been finished yet. I have a whole lot of living to do first.

I will still blog about the job and let y'all know how it is going. I don't actually begin until nov 30th. Thank you everyone. I am filled with jubilance and anticipation. I feel blessed beyond measure that I have a job this good during the recession. This is the best thing that has happend to me in a long long time. If a man could be judged by how blessed he is to have such great people in his life, than should be the luckiest guy around.

- Randy Peterson

Nine Weeks Later Seattle WA song: Waiting - Green Day

2009-09-09T11:55:00.000-07:00

My brother had an idea. He works for the Intel Marketing Department. He works with a company that puts together a website that sells Intel products. The create videos to educate and inspire computer retail salesmen to push Intel. So My brother made some phone calls and got me a chance to meet with this company in Seattle while they were doing a gaming convention.

Having really little idea of what they needed from me, I came ready to do meaningless tasks like being a camera man caddy. That was the least of my work. As it turns out, they wanted me to be on camera co-hosting this show with the regular host Ruby. Ruby is also an on-air persona with the Golden State Warriors. She is the real deal, and here I am trying to keep up with her level of talent. Regardless, I did about as good as I think someone could be expected to do in that situation and they were impressed with my performance. They are very interested in hiring, but they have to plead a case to the higher-ups to free up some money to put someone on a salary.

This is a good sign. This same week, KFBK in sacramento had just interviewed me to do a board operating shift on air. They pay well, and Board Operating for KFBK, is NOT a walk in the park. That is some seriously intense stuff. Nothing I can't handle, and its Clear Channel, a really big radio monster. If I play my cards right in that place, I can meet a lot of people to continue to network and spread my name around and get more radio opportunity.

If that didn't sound great, now I also have some good leads in Idaho Falls for a radio and a tv job. I hope to be going up that way soon to meet with the employers. Honestly, if they bite first, I may just take that one. I fell in love with Idaho when I lived there, and it may be a good situation for me to start off in a smaller market where I can get more opportunity. We will see.

I have a lot of decisions to make, and that is not a bad problem. I'll keep y'all posted.

Seven Weeks Later Albuquerque NM song: All I want is you U2

2009-09-09T11:33:00.001-07:00

The Reality show gig looks to be fading. I am not getting response from the guy who was giving me the thumbs up for that. Don't know what will happen with that.

Still looking for a job, not sure what will happen in the long haul. I have reasons to give up, but i am still determined. I have gone through too much to throw in the towel now. I have set my sights on just a few various places of employment now. Most of them West of the Mississippi. I am still not counting out Washington D.C. or Columbus Ohio. But mostly california, arizona, Utah and especially New Mexico.

New Mexico is where most of my sights are set these days. I love New Mexico of course, but there is a new X factor to be made known in my plight. For those of you who have been reading carefully, I made mention of an unexpected reunion of an EX in Maryland. Her name is Michelle. Michelle and I had a short lived relationship that had all the potential in the world. Long story short, since we met up in Maryland, we have been communicating regularly. She is back in her home town Albuquerque NM these days, so I decided to pay a visit.

I spent about five days in Albuquerque. Slept at the KOA of course. Michelle and I spent days together. We had a terrific time. We always felt that our paths were guided to be together. And this was no exception. We talked seriously, had fun, and had a memorable time. I interviewed for one job I applied for. I may be able to get it if I try. But it would only be part time and the other jobs I applied for didn't respond to me. Oh well, coming to Albuquerque was mostly to see Michelle anyway.

Her and I are in a serious relationship these days. I tell you this because having her in my life alters my decision making. We have no particular plans except to try our best to make things work. If that means for she and I to move to the same town to see what may come, than that will be. But the Future is still unwritten.

Six Weeks Later

2009-08-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

Finding a job from the confines of a computer in my parents house is sobering. I went from one extreme of gutsy job searching to the complete opposite. I am still sending out resumes but still getting little to no response.

The trial and error of looking for a job is really teaching me a lot. Unfortunately, the lessons I need to learn seem to be endless in terms of finding a job. Everyone has different advice, and so many conflict.

I thought carefully about doing a school program called Radio Connection. Its a program where you go to class at a radio station and get private tutoring by a working professional for six months and you get connections to the station you are working with. They have a 70 job placement afterwards and you receive a degree.... After some sound advice from a few professionals I know, I have decided it is a bad idea. For 7500 dollars upfront or more in payments, its not what I am going to do.

A job may be opening in my old station for the promotions department, part time, but If I get enough remote broadcasts, I can earn some decent money, and be back in radio at a good station... But I have to deal with the fact that I am once again a little fish in a little pond.

My plan to move out to Salt Lake City lost its flavour. My buddies who were hoping I would move out their with them, no longer have the space available. Thats ok, I understand. But, I can't think of a good enough reason to pick up and move their now unless I get a good job, but i can only spread my focus so far.

There is still the reality show the Phoenix Unemployed that I may have a good chance with. I qualify for what they are looking for, I just need to get a massive audience to vote for me. But if they do, I will be getting a steady pay-check for six months, great on the job training, great exposure and a heck of an experience. Unfortunately, I will have to wait until mid-september before I know anything.

Idaho Falls has a producer/ reporter position opening up again. It may be interesting for me. I don't mind living out their. Reporting or producing isn't exactly what tickles my fancy but a job is a job. If I qualify, and I get a pay check, than that is all that matters.

Albuquerque is calling my name a bit. I get the sense from a Music Instruction company that I may qualify well for a good paying job in music instruction. Only problem is, I don't know how many students I can get just yet and I don't know how stable it is.

Don't worry, I am not losing my gutsyness If a job opportunity comes my way and offers itself to me, I just might take it. But right now, being in limbo its hard to make that leap of Faith. But I guess thats all their is left for me to do. Is to have Faith.

Two and half Weeks Later

2009-07-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

Much hasn't really happened since I last reported. My routine has been, e-mailing resumes everywhere that may be hiring and almost never hearing back. I am still at it everyday. But it may require more patience than I can muster up.

I haven't done anything really fun. I watched a movie at the cheap theatre by myself and that is it. I have read two books, Kindness of Strangers, and Into the Wild. Travels with Charley, is next. I plan on reading a big handful of traveling books to make sure that my book doesn't overlap too much information and discovery. I am pretty sure at this point that my story is still very unique and potentially comparable to poignancy. Should I learn how to write.

Sacramento hasn't felt like home anymore. I grew up here, I have always loved it here. But I don't know how much more of it I can take. It feels the wrong place for me.

My parents left my bedroom the way I left it when I moved out so many years ago. All my CD's in a huge storage shelf. My childhood comic books out for display on a rack. My rock n' roll paraphanelia out and about. My guitars and amplifiers out. It all made me sick. I packed all the speakers, CD's, Paraphanelia, and comics into boxes to be donated, sold or given away. I even cut my clothing load into about a third. I don't want things I don't need anymore.

I have gotten already three offers to resurrect my Johnny Cash Tribute band "Cash Only." only to be turned down or told "Maybe". I don't really have much of an interest in music anymore. I gave it the best I could, but at the end of the day, it wasn't in the cards. And unfortunately, I cannot EAT dreams. People always tell me NOT to give up on dreams. But I almost want to curse them for that. Look where I am now. 28, no job, living with my parents. I have always shunned and scoffed at the existance of NO-RISK cubicle jobs. Now, I am actively seeking after them. I can't help and wonder if these are the same humbling feelings everyone else gets when they decide to grow up and lay off the dream about being a cowboy or an astronaut. But most people have their dreams shattered before they are old enough to live those mistakes I suppose.

I have spent some time at the Local LDS temple, trying to sort out my goals and make sure they are in line with my eternal wishes. I don't know if they are or not, but I am certainly trying. I am not particularly happy with my situation and I know that is normal. If home life with the parents was so great, nobody would move out. My parents would have me stay the rest of my life if they could get away with it. But recently I am heavily considering moving somewhere in a trailer by the desert. There I can write my book and get my peace. The only places I ever seem to have peace are on the road, the desert and in church. I know that I can't get a paid position in church, they really don't exist. I can possibly be a truck driver, or maybe work at a home depot and write while I am not working.

Lately I have been heavily considering becoming a writer. I have craved writing ever since I came off the trip. I miss blogging. I don't know how I lived without it. Once again, I changed my focus. I don't care to be a reporter, or maybe even a radio jock anymore. Maybe rock n' roll radio was just my way of making sure that I never grew up. Just to prove to everyone that I can do anything I put my mind to. Ironically, everyone I know believes in me now. But I don't know what i can do. My will to carry on may be admirable. But it may be the death of me.

i haven't given up hope, I don't know that I ever can. That may be my problem. I never give up. Even when it is absurd. But I am trying to figure things out. My soul search didn't end when I got back. Unfortunately it amplified. Maybe my road trip wasn't long enough. We will see. But writing the story seems like a happy thought to me. It really helps me get the perspective. So I do have that to look forward to. I think if I write the book, I can possibly get what I was looking for in the end.

One week Later song: Champion - Oleander

2009-07-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

I am back in my Hometown of Sacramento. I have kept a pretty low profile in the past week. I have been watching my friends house and his pets for the last week in a town called Roseville.

To remind some of you of what "A Letter To Bob Dylan" was all about, here is a rundown on the Adventure. Bob Dylan wrote his song "Like a Rollingstone" where he hypothetically asks what would you do with all your freedom when it is granted. To be on your own like a rollingstone, with no direction home, like a complete unknown.
I simply wanted to answer that question to Bob Dylan. After I graduated from college in early April, I immediately took to the open road traveling for what was set out to be 40 days, which turned into 74 days. Being that I have no Job, No woman or no responsibility, I wanted to live with nothing to lose. I wanted see America, I wanted see things, and deal with my fears and most importantly... I wanted to find a home. So the whole time I was hand delivering resumes all across the nation looking for someone to hire me in Radio or TV. Preferably radio. Hoping that maybe employment would guide me to where home is. Being that radio as a nation seemed to be on huge hiring freeze, I knew this would take some real luck and being at the right place at the right time.

To let you know how the job search went. I don't know yet. I have a few bites here and there. I have a bite "Maybe" in Amarillo, Kalamazoo, and hopefully Santa Barbara. I had a few other job offers to do things that are completely different. And I had a potential offer to work on a reality show in Phoenix.
I can't tell if any of them are my dream job or something to get me started up in radio again. Hopefully something of my hard work in dropping off around 130 resumes in person will pay off. But its a possibility, nothing will come from it. I will keep in contact with those I met and see if anything opens, but, I cannot garauntee anything will.

I Came off this trip feeling a little unfinished, and a little discouraged. I had all the help in the world, and I still didn't find what I set out to do. But, then my friend Stephanie suggested I go back and re-read my blogs. So when I read them.... I felt like I was reading someone elses journey. I couldn't believe how much joy and courage I felt. I didn't know what I and so many people were capable of. I had the greatest trip imaginable. I didn't know I had so much endurance in me.

People ask me all the time if it was worth it. Did I find what I was looking for? And the truth is...No. I didn't find my home, I didn't find my job. But, I faced my fears, and I found something much greater than what I imagined. I found YOU. The people. You were the greatest part of my trip. Yes, I got to see Elvis's home, Highway 1, Chicago Blues, Statue of Liberty and everything else In the U.S. that I have ever wanted to see. But non of that stuff I wanted to see mattered in the slightest, when I wasn't with someone. It could have been an old friend or a stranger. I spent time with some amazing individuals across this nation. People who just took the time to help a stranger out. People who took me in their office and looked at my resume and offered their time and advice. People who showed me around the city and told me stories about its culture. People who gave me a place to stay and often times food to eat. People who just shared moments with me that were invaluable.
You see, the United States of America, is a beautiful land. Its dramatic, its got everything under the sun. Its got great history, and monuments. But all that means very little without you. You are what makes this country great. I really found out that people are not inherently selfish and out for themselves. There are people in Every nook and cranny in this country who would give you the shirt off their backs if you needed it. I learned many things while driving the endless highway. I learned many things from the museums. But when I see the passions that drive so many people, and the heart that makes them give a stranger or an old friend so much help, I am humbled. What I found in this nation is that there is a lot more worth fighting for than I ever could have imagined. The U.S. I saw has an incredible history of endurance. It also has a history that is seedy and questionable at the least. But that doesn't matter, its because their are people who generally want to help eachother out and see others who give it their all succeed. That is what makes the land great.

I will keep at it looking for a job in radio..... for a while. And I may not get it. And thats ok. I died standing up, I went out swinging. I will have tried as hard as I could. And besides, Radio is not the most important thing. Family is. More important to me than myself is my future family. To be a good provider. To be someone who can help out others, the way they helped me. I want to be the guy who will be able to let you into my home and to help you find what you are looking for. And make your experience here in America, one that YOU will never forget.

scripture:Psalms 4:5-8

Day 74 San Francisco/Sacramento song: 4th of July - Shooter Jennings

2009-07-06T02:07:00.000-07:00

Morning led me to San Francisco, where the ocean is familiar. Growing up so close to the Bay area, I would think that I would have spent more time there. Its really been years since I went there and did anything touristy in the slightest. This day I went into the pier 39 and saw how much bigger it seems now. More cool stuff and more advanced street performers. I saw China town. Its really the only china town in America I like. I thought all the rest of them suck. Most importantly though, I made into the Jazz festival. Right on filmore street they were holding a jazz festival. Whats more American than that? I walked around and saw some great jazz. It was a great way to end my tour.

I drove early in to Sacramento. Not really eager to come back. I don't really feel like I ever want to stop. But I'll get back to that later.

First thing I went to visit my friend Tom in Roseville. I am supposed to watch his house for the week so he gave me the rundown. You should know that Tom is a radio morningshow host who has been a huge support for this journey. Tom has a nice big house in Roseville California which is the nicest area in Sac town. He has a pretty wife and three great kids two dogs and a cat. He is buddies with all his neighbors, his house is full of cool stuff and he is involved with the community. He is a novice at the guitar, loves to fish and is not afraid to admit that he loves the band Queen. To sum it up, Tom lives the life I can only dream of. Watching his house is an honor. I don't aspire that some day i will achieve all of the things he has, but to be as happy and as content, most certainly. We spoke heavily about my journey and my ambitions for radio. His response surprised me. He believes that his generation of radio personalities are the last. They will shut the door and throw away the key when they leave. He encouraged me to do TV. I get a lot of that, but, its really not my passion. He went over why radio isn't going to survive and how the websites are not the answer that I hoped for. He then asked me why I want to do radio so bad. I gave him the same response I gave everybody.
"Because one day, I am counting the 5000 toys we helped bring for toys for tots. The next day, I get to speak with David Lee Roth. The next day, we get to help out the FFA. The next day, we play wiffle ball with some cool people out in the back lot. THe next, I get to host a movie premier and go to a concert and get a free dinner. My life was always exciting. Opportunity was everywhere, I love the music, I love the listeners, I love performers, atheletes, community organizers, special locals, comedians who always came in. Nowhere else can I live life to the fullest like I can in radio."

"Then do it. You have a lot of passion, you will find something. Don't give up. You're right. Yesterday I ran a marathon on the air. I never would have thought I would run a marathon. Last week I got to be at a redcarpet premier. You're right. This job is for you. But you can't base the sum of your career on radio based on the fact you didn't get a job on this journey. There is no set way in the door. I worked hard, but at the end of the day it still felt like luck that I was in the right place at the right time."

I left feeling good. Its nice to know that someone believes in me that knows both me and radio. That is something I just don't get in most places. Its either one or the other. But there is only so much he could do, but he has done more than I could ever ask.

I drove on into Folsom, home of the famous Folsom Prison where Johnny Cash Recorded. I saw some 4th of July Fireworks. Its funny, I really had a big plan to come to Sac town and see fireworks and pretend that it was all for me. I know that it is rediculas. But I thought it would be funny. Independance will carry a new meaning for me that fireworks can never really be adequate to display or represent my appreciation. I didn't watch the firework display for two minutes. This whole trip really made me want to do some time in the military and serve the U.S. Unfortunately that may not be an option for me, but I can think about it. But, amoungst all the crimes, all the harsh realities and mis-use of freedom and democracy, there is something more beautiful than I could have imagined. As hard as it was to see the country bymyself, I really did come back feeling changed. I appreciate what we have more than I ever would have thought I would.

I went and visited my friends the Laverty family before I came to my parents house. They invited me for a fourth of July get together. It was cool. No fireworks, just a little family get together and some good snacks. Fireworks are nice, But I want my independance day celebrations to be more intimate like that. Its so much more than a vacation to the beach with some fireworks imported from china.

The Laverty's asked me questions about the trip and I had a difficult time sounding opitimistic. I guess I didn't really have anyone great sucess story. I had some hard times and had much more struggles than not making contacts. I really wasn't sure how to shine the silver lining. Perhaps its because I don't know what that is yet.

I guess I didn't really have a climatic happy ending. I had sort of a rocky ending. I got to see great friends, meet great friends, see the country and make new discoveries. But somehow it seems very unfinished. VERY unfinished. I don't know why. Perhaps because I still need to follow up on my contacts and get those things done. But I don't think thats it. Something still feels missing. Like I didn't have enough time to think things through.
I never got tire of driving, and I don't know that I ever would have. I honestly wonder if there is enough open road to ever satisfy my need to just think. Maybe truck driving is my calling, or maybe because I can't philosophize all I need in two and a half months. Rene Descartes kept doing philosphy after meditations. Ludwig Wittenstein never stopped doing philosophy, neither did Immanuel Kant. I guess I never stop learning or thinking. I can't think my way into all of lifes answers. I guess I have to take it as it comes. I don't know that I would have been considered very sucessful if i were a native american doing a vision quest, but maybe I would have. Its hard to tell what sucess would entail, But I know I tried my hardest and I died standing up. Thats all I really wanted to do. I did this trip, I saw the goodness of the American people and Learned more about life than I ever did in such a short period of time. Nobody can take that away.

side note, I am not done. I will probably put down a few more entries But I will probably edit a lot of them too and add photos. And when the video is done, It will post that as well. I am tired now and I need to rest. But I want to thank you for taking this journey with me. Without you, I would have been alone.

Day 73 Santa Cruz C.A. song: Travelin' Song - Jackie Greene

2009-07-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

Left Big Sur and said goodbye to my new friends. I hope our paths cross again. Drove north a little to Monterey. They have some great stations out there that I was hoping to get a piece of. I had a connection and I was going to milk it. Unfortunately, everyone took a day off that day. A three day weekend I guess. But, I checked out the town. I sat on the empty breesy beach with my poncho and played surf songs on my guitar. Monterey is a beach towns for wealthier adults. Other than the famous aquarium, it didn't seem like there is much to do.

Off to Santa Cruz. I really had NO desire to hang out there. I just wanted to get my business done and get on out. I stopped at the starbucks and was just about to check for the addresses, and I folded my computer and said "Forget this." My job search is over. This was no point anymore. I am just going to enjoy myself.

As a kid I used to come to Santa Cruz everyother summer. Its a fun place, it has a giant boardwalk, sandy beaches of fun and a lot of punk rockers and hippies crawling all over the place. I used to love it. But such is life, that you grow older and things don't appeal to you as much. Sometimes good memories turn into bad memories when they represent loss. But I decided to rise above that, because I needed to take a nap and what better place than on a beach.
When I woke up there was a volleyball game starting all around me. The dudes and chicks asked me if I would join and I obliged. We had a lot of fun. They take their volleyball playing very seriously because they insisted in high fiving eachother after every play. It was like they just came from volleyball marriage counseling. But they got a kick out of my spark on Chris Webber snarl on the court. I play for keeps.

Then, a couple of cute college girls invited me to do some skim boarding on the beach. That is when you ride a board on about one inch of water where the water divolves into the sand. We had some fun. They invited me to hang out more, But I pretended I had other plans. Just didn't feel like doing anymore with them, I just wanted to be with myself for the remainder of the trip.

I got to the boardwalk on a friday night where they have bands play free shows on a big stage. This week was the two hit wonder band from the early 90's alternative seen, The Smithereens. I used to listen to them in highshool, so I was pretty glad to stay and watch them. However, its been a long time for them, but they sounded great. But to look at them, time was DEFINATELY not good to them. But I can't make fun, those years are rapidly approaching me as well. It was a free show and I enjoyed it.

I left Santa Cruz and was off to San Jose. I drove the streets and got me a hotel. I have only had one other hotel all trip. My Mom offered it to me, because there was no place to camp this weekend without six month ahead reservation. So thats what I did. I enjoyed me a the fanciest super 8 motel I could find and relaxed on the biggest bed I had ever seen. One more day, One more night, just like Diamond Rio once said.

scripture: Alma 32: 41

Day 72 California Coast Highway 1 song: California Sun - The Rivieras

2009-07-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

I couldn't decide between songs, Thanks Alot - Johnny Cash, Still counting the days - Goldfinger or several others. But for this drive, California Sun seemed appropriate.

I woke up on the beach of Santa Barbara, it was sweet. There was vollyball playing, kids on a skatepark, old dudes with metal detectors, women jogging and middles aged dudes walking their huge dogs.
Santa barbara I decided is really what people are thinking about when they think of California. They imagine the entire state to look exactly like Santa Barbara. Really rich and fancy beach towns with tall palm trees. Unfortunately, there aren't many place like it out there. Not in Sacramento, or San Francisco. This place looks expensive, however, I am going to try and get a job there anyway. Why not, I can handle the challenge.
The hardest part was finding the radio station. Oh of course the Program director is out to lunch, they go out to lunch for about 8 hours a day, and NEVER want to speak a word to an up and coming broadcaster. They never have any time for it. (I was being cynacle)

Yip, I moved on north after checking out the town. Its where two of my cousins went to school and I don't know how they could get anything done, it looks too much like a vacation. That is the biggest reason I went to Idaho, there would be NO distraction. Besides, I think I was led there.

I stopped off at a place called Santa Ynez. A little farm town in California where I got to pick my own berries in a vinyard. It was awesome, chalk up one more great experience that meant nothing because I was alone. But the town was sweet, it was like an old boom town in the middles of nowhere. I am sure it was filled with Retirees.

When I got to San Luis Obispo I just did my radio but didn't do much else. I drove through the main drag and went on my way.

I drove by the Hearst Castle in San Simeon. Its awesome. I really wanted to go and check it out, but that costs money. Besides, being by myself would be kind of a buzzkill. So I put on my list of things that I save for another day.
That list is really growing, the highway 1 up the california coast is the best drive in the country. I thought it may have been the highway going north from Moab, or maybe the one going through the appalachians, but I decided that it is definately highway 1. This is the most amazing sight in the whole country. I decided If and when I would get married, that our honeymoon would be to ride along the california coastal towns. Very few people, nice beaches. I am not huge on going into the beach, I just like to look at them. I guess I'm glad that this highway was the last thing on the map before I get to sacramento. It made me realize again why it is I took this trip. It was to find a home, and california is my home. THis is who I am, its where i come from. I know the rest of the country seems to hate us. But they can bite me. I went and toured their town, its nothing as cool as the california highway 1. Its absolutelly majestic.

I camped out at a place called Big Sur. Its on a giant bluff by the beach in a national forest. Its really expensive and loaded with campers. I met a nice family by the campsite next to me. They are from Palo Alto C.A. Except the father, he is originally from Ireland. His delightful accent wanted me to keep him talking. He asked me about where I'm going and I told him. He told me his close relative runs a radio station in Ireland and they might like a good American accent on the air. I told him, "Where do I sign?" That would be awesome. It would kind of funny to land a job out there. But, it would be a whole new land to explore.
He and his wife and son spoke for hours by the campfire about music. We talked all about classic rock. And he told me of how he believes the Beatles were so sucessful. He believes that there is a rule that if you put 10,000 hours in one expertise that you will become world class. Much like the Beatles, they put 1000's of hours before they got big. That is for sure. Maybe thats my problem, i haven't put in 1000s of hours yet.
Frank, (the father) and I exchanged e-mails and he told me he would ask about a radio position in Ireland for me. Meeting Frank and his family is just what I needed to make that day to go from a good one, to a great one.

Day 71 Los Angeles song: L.A. Freeway - Jerry Jeff Walker

2009-07-02T07:38:00.001-07:00

I woke up with a bad feelilng. A feeling that says, "I ain't out of the woods yet."

I had an appointment that Ravi my hollywood buddy sent me on with a dude who he went to film school who is tearing it up in the movie industry right now. His name is Joe and he is a big time sound editor in Hollywood. His most recent big work was on the movie Crank 2. We went to a coffee joint and discussed careers. He was a down to earth dude who dispite his hard work and sucess, is very humble. He told me, "You seem to have a lot of different skills that are all related to eachother. Its good to be versatile and to keep your options open. But my advice to you is that you need to narrow your focus way down. Between tv reporting, radio jocking, promotions and producing, what is it you REALLY want to do?"

That question is something that I had been running into a lot lately. What is it exactly I am looking for. I guess all I ever wanted was to be a radio jock. Is that so much to ask? But I wasn't even sure that I wanted that so bad anymore I was willing to do this journey. To go through all the bull crap its taken to get this far, I think being a jock isn't for sure what I am looking for. So when he asked me "What is it exactly I want?" All I can think of was that little house in New Mexico, the happy little wife, the porch swing, the humble American car, the friendly neighbor, the southwestern landscape. It was all that stuff that came to my mind. So I guess I didn't honestly know how to answer the question.

Later, I met up with Ravi, he tried to share me his thoughts on the trip, that my tactic may not have been the best one. He may be right, but all of the other options people have given, are stupid, they are FAR more useless. He always thought my trip was about seeing America. And in the begining, it was. He was right.
Ravi is a guy you gotta listen to. He is young and rubs shoulders with some high profile dudes in the Hollywood business and is currently employed by ABC. He also humbly posesses an academy award for an indendant short film. I have watched him suffer and pay his dues for years, and he is still not out of the woods. He is still pluggin' along.

Ravi and I went to lunch. I tried to thank him for all that he had done for me, getting me connections and a place to crash. He wouldn't allow a thank you. He said, "You'd do the same for me. I just want to see you succeed."
We are always good at getting a good laugh together. We joked about an old buddy of ours in highschool and we laughed 'til we cried.

We laughed for too long because I responded to an internet for an audition for a radio jock. A jock for all kinds of radio jocks....IN HOLLYWOOD. The audition is for anybody, no experience necessary. In the most competitive job market in the country for broadcasting, this sounded shady. BUT, what choice do I have but to check it out. I left on a 12 mile drive with 35 minutes to spare incase the traffic was bad........ Traffic was bad. It took me an HOUR and TWENTY minutes to drive 12 miles. I was 2o minutes late to the audition. I parked my car three blocks from the audition, completely stressed out and stir crazy. I sprinted to the building anyway, husseling through my asthma, puffing that gross sunset blvd air. I got to the building it was being held in. It was a seedy building on the corner, completely unlabeled, and it looked like a good place to find some drugs, and by drugs I don't mean pot, but the more expensive kind.
I pounded on the door stressed out. A gentlemen opened it up and began to tell me that it was closed and too late, but I finally did something I haven't done all trip..... I let someone see how desperate I was. I shoved my foot in the door and said, "Listen, give me one minute, I promise you won't regret it. (huffing and puffing) I am a great radio persona, I have done it for years. I have driven 12,000 miles delivering resumes in person, only to be told "NO" "SORRY" in 30 different states, I have gotten sick twice, one busted foot, spent everything I own and lost the love of my life one last time. I promise you, nobody in there wants this as bad as I do right now. Please let me in.".... I couldn't believe I said all of that. That was pitiful. I have never been that desperate in my life. Especially for a situation that has at the very LEAST plenty of room for question. But I was stressed out in the L.A. traffic, and I completly lost my composure like never before.

His response was, "I am sorry, but we are closed for now, check the internet, there will be another audition in a week. I have to let you go, its distracting for the auditioners."

He slammed the door on me and I collapsed from exhaustion on the steps. I just sat there on the corner of sunset blvd. Watching the cars go by and the seedy locals go by. I sat there for a long long time. And I just didn't feel like getting up. I didn't want to do anything. This trip was not supposed to end this bad. I don't know what happend, I was so positive in the morning. I called up my ex-girlfriend Jennilyn whom I was supposed to have a date with and I cancelled. Nothing against her, but I wouldn't be good company. I was defeated. I needed to get out of LA. I was way off course the whole time. I love that I have family and friends there, but that isn't the place that I want to call home someday. I needed to get out of dodge immediately. No time for anything.

I changed my mind on that pretty quick. Right when I was about to leave, I saw a sign for the famous hollywood bowl. I have only seen it, and never been. I have always wanted to look at it. So I went up to it to take some pictures. For those of you who don't what the Hollywood bowl is, its the classiet music venue in America. Its where people like Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash, Miles Davis would play. It was not for the Bon Jovis or Snoop Doggs or the Garth Brooks of the world. This place is CLASSY.
The woman at the entry wouldn't let me in. I guess there was a show tomorrow and it was John Fogerty (from Creedence Clearwater) . I said,
"REALLY, is that him sound checking right now?"
"Yes thats him and his band."
"Please miss, Can I come in for just one song, I am on a road trip and it would really make my L.A. experience." That and more groveling, she eventually let me in for a bit as long as I stayed quiet in the corner and took no pictures. It was great, It was like I had my own private show with John Fogerty at the Hollywood bowl, with the famous Hollywood sign out in the distance all lit up.
While he was playing hit after hit, like "Lookin' Out my Backdoor" "Bad Moon Rising", "Stuck in Lodi" and several others, I started to think about what Ravi said. It wasn't about finding a job. It was about getting the experience. Why do I have to feel like a failure because I didn't get I was looking for. The trip was never about the finish line. It was about the journey. I may never have my Radio job, or my wife and house in New Mexico that I strive for. But it doesn't matter what you accomplish, as long as you gave it everything you know that you have. Thats how i will sleep with that on my consciounce.

I drove all night to Santa Barbara. Its the prettiest college town I have ever seen By far. I'll bet the kids here are rich and get nothing done. It looks like a fancy town in mexico, very posh and very cool. I slept out on the beach a mile from the pier under the stars next to my car. Like MxPx once said, "Today didn't have to be this way, but tomorrow is another day."

scripture: Doctrine and Covenants 9:8

Day 70 Hollywood C.A. song: Hello New Day - Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers

2009-07-01T09:04:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up with the Eye of the Tiger. I got my tough boxer jaw all revved up and ready to go. I cracked my neck as I steped out into the smoggy Los Angeles sky, put on my Ray-Ban glasses and said in my best Clint Eastwood voice, "Lets make this Kitty Purr!"

I drove on out to the Cartoon network to apply for a production assistant job. I know that I am qualified for that job. I would do well. We will see what happens. I applied at several radio stations....Nothing. BUT, today for some reason, I felt invinsible. Today if a mugger were to attack me, I think he would have gotten mugged. Yes, for some odd reason, I felt like a Bad-@$$.

Then I walked in for my appointment to Capital Records. For those of you who don't know, Capital records is like a giant monument to Hollywood. They own the label to Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, The Beachboys, Coldplay, Radiohead, Bob Seger, Beastie Boys, etc.. The building itself is legendary and somewhat of a Wonka Chocolate factory for musicians. Nobody comes in and nobody comes out. Today, I WENT IN!!!

My great almost lifetime friend Ravi the accomplished film maker gave me a connection to an A&R rep. (A&R is the dude who discovers and sells the talent to the execs. He is the angel of mercy to all musicians). I had an appointment at nearly the top floor of this building with an office that overlooks the skyline of Los Angeles. We spoke on the music industry. Because I am a former music biz major and the former manager to Jackie Greene, I know it REAL well. We talked and talked and it was my dream, but here is why it was interesting.

The gentlemen Ankur, is a really humble and cool dude. We had actually met a few times before. He just got promoted to being in his job not two weeks ago. His story is great. He told me how in 3 short years he climbed the latter to the top. It was inspiring. He did what ever slick and seedy thing he had to to get into the door. And when he was in as an intern, he proved himself, not just by his work ethic and hussle to get the job he was asked done, but to open up the eyes of everyone to show how much more can be done. He did way more than what his job asked of him. He made friends and allies he got people to believe in him, but more importantly.... He got to believe in himself. It may have seemed like a long difficult road for him, but getting his job at his age, just seems impossible. But he did it.
He was more than happy to speak with me and to promise to help me in anyway he can. He wants to see me succeed. He even bought me lunch. I was honored.

I came outside to a parking ticket. I didn't even care. I didn't care in the slightest. Tag it on to my tab America. I am going to be a happy tax payer. The Country has given me so much, and I have given it so little. That is going to change for now on.

The night was capped with me and my cousin Paola, Gustavo and his father Gustavo sr, going to Disneyland. I finally gave in and went to Disneyland. I loved it. We got in for free so we just went for a couple of hours. We saw a firework show/light parade, and rode the Space mountain. For the first time in my life, the space mountain was open. And it was awesome.
We saw the jungle cruise ride. Its funny, and I can see why EVERYBODY who goes on it thinks that I would be Ideal for it. And seven years ago I would have, but not anymore. Its not about me. Its about my future family. I need to make a living for several people. What ever that is.
But the REAL highlight of the evening was when I went to revisit the Pirates of the Carribean. For those of you who don't know my epic pirates of the carribean story, ask me sometime.

I had a great night to follow my great day...... The Rockster is back!

scripture: Luke 18:1

Day 69 Anaheim C.A. song: Story Of My Life - Social Distortion

2009-06-29T23:55:00.000-07:00

Dissapointed myself pretty bad today. You see, I have been pretty proud of myself and work ethic this entire trip. I have barely let any days go to waste, i have been pretty productive and know that I make the most out of every day. If I ever take a break, its because I don't physically have a choice, I need to rest. Today, I didn't. Today, I woke up late. I responded to e-mails, applied more online (which really gets you know where), and I decided to try out my cousins idea of working at Disneyland for the jungle cruise job.

So I drove a late start to Anaheim to Disneyland. I found out really quick that the stereo-type of most male employees being gay at Disneyland, is true. That would be good, there would be little competition between me and the ladies.
But, I did my application and the job I applied for didn't look to be available at the time. There was plenty others, but I don't really think that I would like anything else. I don't much feel like I would want to climb the corporate ladder up there. Nothing against the place, I just feel I would be straying way too far off course. I gotta get back to why I took this journey.

Stuck in L.A.'s insane traffic all day was not the way I wanted to spend my day. I did about nothing else other than the on-line job hunt. Searching, for the jobs that I really really want the most and going to go and get. The cartoon network has a position I might be good for. We will see. As it turns out I do have a good connection with a professional Hollywood sound editor and a gentlemen who works at capital records. It looks like I have a small chance to redeem myself tomorrow, and I better take it. My time is short.

My feet dragged for many reasons. But mostly because of myself. Today, I ran out of steam. I just didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to go to my parents house and quit. As close to the end as I am, I just wanted it to be done NOW. It was the events that played out on friday that has weighed me down, it just didn't happen the full proofed way I planned it. Thats ok. I just need to pick myself up enough to finish what I started on this trip, and know, that I really came on this trip finish strong. To NOT give up. That is the ONLY way for me to be unsuccessful on this journey, the moment I give it up. Is the moment I fail.

Day 68 Yorba Linda CA song: The World Ain't Slowin' Down - Ellis Paul

2009-06-29T10:53:00.000-07:00

I went to church in Huntington Beach. The members were filled with people who look like they are in magazines. There is no question, I am in Southern California. Everyone was attractive and pretty nice. The lessons were taught well and the talks were spoken well. But I wasn't ready. One thing about church is, you only get what you put into it. If you don't come prepared to learn, you get nothing. I may have walked in their humble, but not humble and hungry. I came in their trying to catch up, but felt nothing. I wasn't prepared. I didn't spiritually prepare myself. This is a mistake I cannot afford to make next week.

While at church, I introduced myself to the elders quarum and told everyone what I am doing. And for the third time on this trip, someone pulled me aside and offered to give me a job that would teach me how to talk to people and how to make money to buy expensive bull crap that NOBODY needs. I got a job offer to sell security. Not that I have an issue with those who do that, but if I wanted to do sales, I could do that anywhere. Door to door sales man jobs do NOT require this kind of perseverence to get.

Afterwards I had met with my extended family. All my cousins, Aunts, Uncles and second cousins and such. I have had a very American Experience for the last ten weeks, but today was a latin American Experience. You should know that I am Half Ecuadorian. All of my relatives on my Mom's side of the family are full blooded Ecuadorians. We had a reunion dinner in the back patio of my Uncle Pepe house. Like usual, they all give me a playfully hard time because my spanish sucks. They will never get over that but that is ok, I did let them down. They all have known about my trip and my appearances of TV and my little show at the college I had. They were so proud and excited to have me over. I really miss that part of the family. I really haven't seen most of them in ten years. Its about time I did.

Perhaps my favorite cousin Gustavo, the schmoozer, spoke with me about possible jobs at his place of work, which is Disneyland. He and the rest of the family thought I would be perfect for the jungle boat ride tour guide. I have been told that several times in my life so maybe its time I see what its all about. Of course, Disneyland doesn't seem like my type of place, BUT, I need work, and it does sound like it could be some fun. We will see what becomes of that.

I got to meet my little niese Franchesca who just loved to hang out and I got to see my baby cousin Paola who is a grown woman now. Its a little jarring, but it was so great to see the family and remember where I come from. As hard as I try to be a Red blooded, ford driving, American Road Warrior, I still am a latin American as well.

In the evening I was planning my day for Monday. All of the love I have recieved on this trip has left me with what I need to dig down ONE more time on this journey. I know I haven't been too successful. I know that I may be going about this the wrong way or am just in a bad time. I know that there is NO more competittive job market than Los Angeles.....However, I am going out swinging. Tomorrow, I am going to hit up all of Burbank and show everybody including myself what it is I am really made of.

scripture:Isaiah 5: 19

Day 67 Chino Hills CA song: Help Me Make It Through The Night - Kris Kristofferson

2009-06-28T09:13:00.001-07:00

Axel Rose once sang, "Its hard to keep an open heart, when even friends seem out to harm you, but if you could heal a broken heart, wouldn't time be out to charm you."

It took me a long time to really figure what that meant. I think I get it now. Of course, what idiot would take a pearl of wisdom from a disturbed man like Axel Rose. But sometimes I believe its those who suffer the most, understand love the most.

This morning I woke up feeling sick and in pain. So checked back into my remedies of a good ole fashion visit from Mr. Heartache. When you get the blues you gotta do what Johnny Cash would do. And that is get rhythym. I was about to call up my old band "CASH ONLY" the Johnny Cash tribute and book us a HUGE show that was going to wake up Sacramento and let be aware of my arival back home. Then somehow I stumbled onto another Johnny Cash Tribute band in Sacramento called Cash Only. They are really good. Far better than my band, and that is NOT being modest. Somehow in the time that I was gone in Idaho and not playing many shows, they took my spot in the Johnny celebration. That hurt. Musically, that band was all I had left. I guess thats one more thing to move on from.

I checked on-line for the jobs that had recently opened in So-Cal. There were many that match what I am looking for. Except nearly all of them require more experience than I got. One thing about this economy is, that employers are not hiring college grads like they used to. Now they are hiring the most experienced, which in broadcasting is a ton of people. L.A. is probably the most competitive job market for Broadcasting in the United States. Thats not what I need right now to finish off this trip. I searched for hours and I have a few things, but thats not the most pressing thing on my mind.

I stayed last night with my cousin Pamela and her husband Paul. They were very good to me, they gave me a bed and fed me some of the best food ever. I hadn't seen them in ten years, but they never forget that we are family. I really love them. But the biggest treat is that I have never met thier four year old daughter. The daughter calls me Uncle Rockin' Randy. I guess she has watched my videos and thinks of me as a star. Its cute, she is the cutest girl I had ever seen. Full of fun and life.

In the evening I was trying my hardest game face not to think much about the hard times. I was praying for an angel to come and take the pain away...... I think that I got my answer to my prayer. I was sitting outside and out comes my little four year old neise Jackalyn. She came and just sat with me and cuddled with me. I have only known her for just some hours and she loved me unconditionally. I felt the same, I guess thats a family thing. But she couldn't have known what was in my head, I had a good poker face. But she came and comforted me anyway. She taught me patty cake and I read a book to her and colored with her. Then we watched some cartoons and she watched the Office with me. She just enjoyed my company.
What you must know is, I was the youngest in my family. And because I am a dude, nobody ever asks me to baby sit. I have never been comfortable around little children. I never know what to do or say. But, This time, it came naturally. I was very happy. She helped me make it through the night.

scripture: Mosiah 4:11

Day 66 San Bernardino CA song: I'll Never Get Out Of This World Alive - Hank Williams Sr.

2009-06-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

What is a happy ending? Is it when the character gets what he has always hoped for? Or when he finds what he really needed? Or is it when the character changes? I don't know what it would be, perhaps, its just the fact that the character can endure.

Well, what many of you don't know, is that this trip wasn't JUST about finding a job. Its exploration. I wanted to see the United States, the historical aspect. Most of the history is kept in museums now. But I wanted to see the different lifestyles and things that are different across the U.S. It is also a time for me to face my fears and put the past behind. You see, I am terrified of driving long distances. I am terrified of the unknown. I am petrified of my past... But still haunted by it.

My three objectives were, to find a job, find a home, and put the past where it all belongs. But how could I do all of that? If I find a job, I guess that means finding a home. No matter where it is that I like, I have to call my new place of work my home. And what would home entail? A place with good weather? Or fun things to do like watch live music or sports? Or is it a place where you become who you are, and the place becomes a little bit of you. Does it matter where you are as long as you are with someone you love? The pretty Red Head I met in North Caralina who had also taken a long journey across America challenged me with this thought.
All of these things that I see and do, when they are not shared with someone I love.....it means nothing. I guess I can appreciate how cool everything in the country is, and I loved the rock n' roll hall of fame, I dug the New York Harbor cruise, I loved Sun Record studios, but I wasn't with a loved one. I had some great friends on some things, and I love them, and those times were meaningful for me. But nothing can compare to having the ONE you love with you. On that thought, it really doesn't matter if you are living in a place that is Shan Gra La. It only matters that you are with someone you love. No amount of things in your life can amount to filling the need that people are born with to have someone to love unselfishly and unconditionally.

Like Johnny Cash said, "A Cardinal sang just for meAnd I thanked him for the Song. Then the Sun went slowly down the West And I had to move along. These were some of the things On which my Mind and Spirit feed;But Flesh And Blood need Flesh And Blood And you're the one I needFlesh And Blood need Flesh And BloodAnd you're the one I need. So when this Day was ended I was still not satisfied For I knew ev'rything I touched Would wither and would die And Love is all that will remain And grow from all these Seed; Mother Nature's quite a Lady But you're the one I need Flesh And Blood need Flesh And Blood And you're the one I need."

As you may imagine, my happy ending didn't pan out the way it would have seemed from thursday. Out of respect, I won't go until the harsh details. We had our final dance and thats all I had left to give. Things ended for me knowing that I tried as hard as humanly possible and there was nothing left for me to give. But finally the past is behind. There is still the whole other half of the mountain to climb down, but its over now. I got what I wanted..... My freedom back.

I really didn't know that all of my goals were so perfectly tied together. Just trying to find a home. I guess thats all I ever wanted.

I guess I was wrong about life. You can't completely write your own destiny. You can't choose who you're going to be and where you're going to live. The only thing you can choose, is how far you're willing to go to get what you need.

scripture: 1st Corinthians 11:34

Day 65 San Juan Capistrano song: Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms

2009-06-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

Scott took me to see the Las Vegas Nevada temple. It was much more massive than I ever could have predicted. It was beautiful. I had to part ways with Scott and get to work. He is a great friend and always will be. I'll never forget my time with him.

I drove thoughout all of Las Vegas dropping off resumes. Everyone in radio is out of town. People are just too busy these days with all the down sizing.

Afterwards I got a call from a gentlemen in Phoenix. He is a producer/ PR guy for a new tv reality show. A show about some different communications experts who have different emphasis and skill sets trying to work together to use their talents to improve the community. He is interested in having me audition or maybe be a part of the show. It sounded intriguing. We will see where this road can take me. I don't know what to think, this could be what I needed, but its hard to say. We will see what happens when I learn more.

I drove into San Bernardino California. Finally back west. I met up with my old girlfriend Leighann, to whom I hadn't seen in nearly three years. There was a mission between us and alot of heartache. We were set to go see the Gin Blossoms in San Juan Capistrano. Our favorite band together.

I had this night set in motion before the trip was even taken. This pivotal reunion was perhaps just as important as anything else in the entire trip. Leighann has been for years the one I couldn't let go.

The night couldn't have been better, she looked great, made me a nice dinner. We saw the concert and it was AWESOME. We got to high five the singer on stage and take a photo with the singer and guitar player. It was a night I couldn't have predicted or couldn't imagine. It had all the elements of a story book reunion. This night I had plans for it to go one way, but I was pleasantly surprised in that I was willing to let it go another. I'll keep the contents of the discussions private, but from the night it would seem to look like a happy ending to my story. This marks what may be the best day of my trip, and potentially my life. Coming to see her, just felt like.......home.

scripture :TBD

Day 64 Las Vegas NV song: They're Trying to Put an End to Guys Like Me - Gary Allan

2009-06-25T07:30:00.000-07:00

Several hours were spent doing my homework. Looking for any and every radio job in the country and E-Mailing. I don't know why I still try that. Then finding every station here in Las Vegas. Then finding the ones in the towns I will be going to. I have become a real starbucks decoration.

I didn't do any in person Job hunting. I needed to take a bit of a load off and reorganize the vehicle and find resume holders, (which don't exist anymore). When I got through with that stuff, my old mission companion Scott took me to see the Hoover Dam. I thought it was pretty rad. I saw the new bridge they are building which looks like it will make traffic coming into Vegas a lot easier and the Hoover dam an even bigger tourist trap. But thats cool, its an impressive sight.

Scott and I had some good discusstions on life. What you should know about Scott is, that he is a former minor league baseball player. He persued his dream, heavily. He never made it to the majors, injuries got in the way. He never doubted that he could have gone to the majors, actually he is quite sure of it. But he found it more important to be with his bride. He found the one thing that was greater than his life dream. I loved hearing his story.

Later on I met my old Highschool buddy Stephanie. I hadn't seen her since graduation and its now been ten years. We went to a park where her 3 kids played in the waterspouts and slides. Its funny how last time we saw eachothi er, our lifestyles were pretty similar, and only due to circumstance, they are now vastly different other than our religion. She is still as sweet as ever. We talked about the joys and challenges of raising a family. I always like hearing what it is like. Steph had three really good looking and healthy kids, living in Las Vegas which aside from the gambling, is a really nice place. Its great to see another one of my friends doing so well. It was great seeing her again.

I capped the night off going to the Las Vegas strip. I have never been there before. Every time I have been to Vegas, I never left the airport. But I parked at the end by the MGM Grand. I walked about one and a half blocks with my video camera. (on a side note, I have filmed a TON of this trip to be edited later for you goons. You better appreciate me looking like a dork in so many places for YOU!!) I saw the most impressive sights I have ever seen. So many bright lights and colors and amazing structures. The place was spackled with Brittney Spears look-a-likes and dudes in expensive hawian shirts holding their hands. Then right there next to me, short dudes everywhere shoving flyers in my face for prostitutes who will be at my door in twenty minutes. I forgot that its legal to do that in Nevada. You know, I have heard all kinds of things about Vegas. Some good some bad. I had never heard that. I have heard some people say, "Its so much more family oriented these days." I don't know where in the country they raise families like that, but in this entire drive, I have never come across those families.
When I found a good spot, that was free of large billboarded porn, I camped out with my guitar, hat, symbol, sign and smile. I used the same sign I used in Tempe to get money for a concert in San Juan Capistrano. That sign makes the sweet ladies really want to give me some change. And all of the Gin Blossom fans. And a few manly Johnny Cash fans. I made a good amount of money here in Vegas. I guess its better the money winds up in my hands than in the casinos. I'll make sure to make the most of it. Las Vegas is the first place that I have come out with more money than I left it with. And I didn't have to gamble a dime.

scripture: Alma 47:36

Day 63 Arizona song: Radio Ga Ga - Queen

2009-06-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

Fox local news in Phoenix interviewed me on the corner of Mill and 7th street in Tempe Arizona. The interview was a lot of fun. I was impressed, I felt they were really cool and really wanted to help me out. I was originally skeptical, but I don't know why, they were genuinly out to help me get some pub and I deeply appreciated it. The interview went well and I felt good about it. The reporter and camera man were friendly and I had fun.

Then I went back to Nate's home and packed up and was on my way. Nate was awesome. I really think that if I went to the Phoenix area, I would hang out with him. He gave me an open invitation to come stay with him if I ever come back. I deeply appreciated him taking a stranger into his home and making me feel welcome. I will never forget.

I did my resume dropping routine for a couple more radio statons and CBS out in phoenix. Not much luck as far as speaking to anybody, but we will see.

Next stop is Precott AZ. I really liked Prescott. Its a really isolated and friendly southwestern community. A place to raise a family. I spoke to the radio station out there. All that was there is the one building with several stations in it. I spoke with the Sales manager who seemed to be intrigued by my story. I gave him my selling spiel and he was sorry he couldn't do anything. But he gave me a referral in Flagstaff to someone who might be able to help.

To Flagstaff AZ it was. Flagstaff is another isolated town, but with more trees. And, its a college town. Not a real hip college town like Tempe, Berekely or Boston. But it was cool. Another great place to live. Its got everything you need out there and its not too far from LA, or Vegas or Phoenix. All the radio stations in town were closed before four though. It was pretty sad. No one would answer the door. I figured it must have been happy hour or two dollar tuesday. Finally the last station I went to I caught the last man walking out the door who was the general manager of this station. He was friendly as could be and he let me give him my entire spiel.

"Well sir, I know there isn't much work for jocks out there, because there is not enough money going around. But, here is how I can make you money. The one part of the market that is still growing is the WEB. Its the only part that is growing. But, you need more traffic to get more money from advertising. So, here is where I can come in. I am trained in how to do tv news reporting. I am a one man band, I can write, shoot, edit, interview and find my own stories and be either serious or funny on camera. I can get the community a better voice and have something that the jocks can push for listeners to come on the web. I can be your daily reporter just giving you a reason to come to the web site other than just contests and prizes. You would come and check out the daily video player and the people would raise the traffic on your sites. I can be the guy who finds the sponsorship for that. I can do a lot of things for your station as well. I am trained in board operating, promotions and on-air. I can be what ever you need me to be, and I will make the station more money."

The GM was impressed. "Well, you seem like you're gonna do well. Keep at it, it will pay off. You have been on the road for a long time. Radio as you must know, is not like it used to be. There is no begginner club anymore. The small stations are all automated and the large stations only employ the seasoned vets. Its a different time we live in. Why do you want to do radio so bad anyway?"

"Well sir, because everyday is different. One day, I am shaking hands with one of the local sports atheletes. The next day, I am helping raise toys for the TOYS FOR TOTS. The next day, We are having a fun on air-contest and we laugh all morning long. The next day, I am riding in the back of a stunt air-plane. And the next day, I am haning out back stage with a country star. The next day, we are helping out a small barber business get some traffic. I loved it. I can make a difference in the community and I could have the greatest exeriences non-stop. I get to meet the greatest people day in and day out. Thats why I want to do radio so bad sir."

He smiled and gave me his card. He really wants to see me have a happy ending. He wished me luck and we parted ways as he took my resume on file.

I headed off to Las Vegas where I stayed with Scott my old mission companion and his wife. It was great, they fed me the best mexican haystacks of my life and we spoke of the old folks on the mission field. I was grateful to see a great friend again. Today was a good day.

scripture: DnC 9:8

Day 62 Phoenix AZ song: Boys Don't Cry - The Cure (preferable as performed by Oleander)

2009-06-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

This may have been the hardest day. Immediately I began the morning motivated and ready to handle a big town. First I had to clear some evils of a traffic ticket. It turns out I had a court date. I was on the road and I had a hard time remembering things and I forgot it. I called to let them know I was out of town but they didn't care. I was told I have a two week grace period (so i thought) and it was really a two day grace period. So they threatened to revoke my licence and slapped an extra 300 dollar fine. This hurt bad. How bad did I need that money? Very bad.

I felt already like I wanted to quit. I had never felt this close to quiting before. The money it will take to pay off that ticket comes out of the money I had stached to move to another place. My parents will shout "Hip, Hip Hooray" at the thought of me moving to Sacramento and working a No Risk desk job, for the rest of my life. But, I thought I would do todays destination first. reluctantly.

I went to Radio disney where the had a promotions director job opening. The PD was nice, but she informed me that it was already filled. The only other job listing I found in radio in Phoenix was at the rock station. I went there for the promotions position and the same thing, it was already filled friday. That time when I heard it, I got choked up. I almost out of nowhere broke down right infront of reception. This has never even come close to happening. I walked out of the building letting out my LOUDEST grunt of frustration.

Then the local tv station Fox, had contacted me. I thought great, now I am getting somewhere. My old professor called in a favour to speak with someone for me. It was a producer who only wanted to put me on the morning show to talk about my adventure. Honestly I really didn't care to. Not as much as I want someone to take an interest in what it is that I do with my talent. She wanted to have me doing some panhandling in Tempe like I did on Saturday night. I don't want to be someone who makes the economy look bad. I hope that I could be a symbol of hope instead.

So I gave in. I drove to LDS employment office just seeing if I can ask for anything. Anything at all. ANY job. I spoke to the old man in charge. He had me fill out some paper work and informed me that all they can do is offer a class in how to write a resume. And give me a list of job websites to search in. To give me the means to start a job hunt. He then informed what else I already know. Which is, "80 percent of all jobs are recieved by referral. 10 percent are found online".
I thanked him politely as I could for his time and I walked out. I didn't have the patience to hear one more guy try to tell "ME" how hard it is right now. And what it is I have to do to make it. Unfortunately for my purposes, that was a waste of time.

I had felt deep feelings of defeat. I didn't think I would feel them. I thought that I was bullet proof, like I was superman. Not today.
It was then i got a call from a dude I met in church named Jake who i told about my plight. He went and found me someone to talk to. His friends name is Brandon. Brandon had worked in the industry for a few years and is now doing advertising. Brandon was more than helpful. He didn't have a lot of contacts for me, but he had some avenues for me to check out and gave me some ideas of what else I can do with my skills. He showed me what some of his friend he knows have done with their broadcasting skills and encouraged me to keep on keepin' on. And just like that, my day picked up. I did some more resume deliveries and even got to talk to someone in Clear Channel (for the first time with that company) and did it gleefully. I was very positive at that point. I really didn't know how a little bit of positive reinforcement went so far. I was freaked out in how fast I almost just gave up at this point. How could I quit? I am so close, I gotta go out swinging.

I finished the day knowing I spent my time well and I worked as HARD as I could, like most days. I couldn't have tried any harder. And for some reason, I felt better about things, I know somehow, I will survive. Some how some way.

scripture: James 1: 3

Day 61 Mesa AZ song: I Won't Back Down - Tom Petty

2009-06-21T23:27:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke with a lot on my brain. Some things very serious. One in particular is that I fear more and more every city I go to, knowing I am that much closer to my finish line. I would keep going until I found a job if I could afford it. But I am officially past budget and now I am living off of helping hands, favors and pan handling. Thats a humbling feeling like I have never known.

No matter how much success, no matter how much love I get, there are still mornings when I wake up in a panic of "what am I going to do?" I am getting close and Phoenix is not looking good as far as opportunity. But tomorrow I hit the ground running delivering my resume.

This is going to be a hard week, from here, Its all big cities. Even the ones that are small, are so close to the big towns that they are just part of the massive conglomeration that is Southern California. All I have left is Flagstaff and Prescott AZ and hopefully something between Vegas. My work is cut out for me.

Some days its hard for me not to fantasize a little bit about what it would have been like if I never went to college and just stayed in Radio and tried to move up from there. I know college was the right decsion..... I know that..... But I still wonder "what if?" But I know that I had out grown the position I was at in CBS sacramento. I have to do better things. Its a must.

Then wouldn't ya know it. I went to church and our sunday school lesson was on the importance of education. The church sponsors and deeply encourages it. I didn't know why I decided it was so important, I didn't really need it for what I am planning on doing in my life. But, I just felt that I should go and get an education. Hearing the words of the lesson really helped me feel better. Its important to me that I don't regret. I learned at college how to think different and how to obtain the knowledge coupled with experience of what it takes to be a man as I see fit. I wouldn't have gotten that from staying in Radio. It was worth the sacrifice. Even under my pathetic job searching condition.

I met some people at church who are looking to help me find some contacts. Non of them have anything definative, but they are certainly giving it their best for me.
I also ran into an old friend of mine from Sacramento named RJ. RJ is possibly one of the funniest and wittiest men I have ever met. we had the same same sunday school class together and he did not dissapoint. Just seeing him there at church gave me an extra incentive to want to give it my best in AZ to find a job.

I wandered a bit in the desert to think. I love roaming around the cactus. I love cactus. I needed to realign myself to finding that missing element of what it is I need to find a job. I need to keep up my prayers and hard work. I know that all of my friends have kept me in their hearts. I can't let them down. I need to press on and give it my all regardless of how bleak it looks from here. I need to go out the way I gotta go out.

scripture: DnC 88:

Day 60 Tempe AZ song:King Of The Road - Roger Miller

2009-06-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Not much to tell as far as work is concerned. In a city as huge as Phoeniex, I would have hoped there would be more jobs posted. Only a couple in promotions and of course a few in sales. Thats ok though, I have a good resume in promotions and I love doing that in radio. Its almost as fun as being on the air, and I think that a foot in the door would be better than nothing at all. Plus, I love the dusty southwest.

When I arrived at AZ, my good friend Karen found me a place to stay across the street from her home at some bachelor pad. The host who had arranged my accomodations is name is Nate. He is a good ole laid back surfer dude. Nate, has been nothing short of the incredible people I have met on my journey. He gave me bedding supplies, a breakfast and took some time to get to know me as well as me him.

In the afternoon after my online job hunt, he took me with his friends down the salt rive to go sit in a tub and float down the river. This was scary for me because the last time I floated down a river, I came within inches of my life from drowning. But, Nate and his friends tied there floaty tubes down to mine so I couldn't move astray. I had a great time. The river was of course filled with booze and tatoos, but, the scenary out side was incredible. Its the only river I know that is filled with Cactus around the river. It has the amazing southwestern landscape of tall mesas and swarrow and a really calm and mildly chilly river. The river was fun, but the fact that I was taken to it and was made so welcomed in the group, was even better. I loved that the most.

I had a dream when I was at Nate's nice home. I looked out his kitchen window and I saw a magnificent view. It was just past the street I saw some tall palm trees and large mesas in the background and some mobil homes inside. I thought to myself. "Gee, I wish I could live in a humble little mobil home park with some trees like that, with all my friends in my neighborhood. I wouldn't need much in my life. I don't need a large house in a posh neighborhood to be happy. I would need to have neighbors I love with love in the home. We would have some small but relentlessly energetic dogs and we would bar b que together every weekend. The dudes would talk about sports and we would lite off fireworks into the southwestern sky, for no, or very little reason at all. We would all have porch swings and our little community would be to do nothing but help eachother out. It would be great."
I don't know why I had that fantasy. Something about the southwest just gets into me and gives me visions. And No. I have NOT being taking peoti, unlike what you may be thinking. I think some times Arizona can be every part the "Land Of Enchantment" that New Mexico is.

The evening I was invited to a party with a bunch of hot singles...... It didn't take my interest. I wanted to explore AZ some. There were no sports, rock n' roll or anything going on that I really wanted to do. So I went to tempe on "Mill Ave" which is the main drag of Tempe. Its like a santa cruz or an austin where there is a lot of little wierd shops and places to eat and bars to hang out at. And lots of pan handlers. I have to purchase some tickets I reserved for a concert in So Cal to see the Gin Blossoms, because I promised and old girlfriend that I would take her. So I panhandled with a sign stating exactly what I was looking for. The sign generated some sympathy and made my Cash for Cash do really well. I didn't make all the money I needed but, I am certain that I will in Vegas. It was just fun to do that with all the other creative pan handlers roaming about.

I spent the later part of the evening thinking and shootin the breeze with a dear friend on the telephone. As I roamed around Tempe, I realized, there is not a part of anywhere that I don't like it seems. Every nook and cranny is just beautiful to me. I had a great day.....and night.

scripture: 3rd Nephi 12: 5

Day 59 NM to AZ song: 1000 Miles from Nowhere - Dwight Yoakum

2009-06-19T23:02:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to the rising sun of New Mexico. It felt like I was entering the Heavens gate. I felt huge, like it was all for me. Perhaps, because I was the only one around while the sun illuminated these huge rock formations steep and smooth. I figured out that New Mexico really brings the Hippy out in me. For some people, its surfing, or just the islands, for some its the woods or the golf course or the mountains. For me, I know that it is New Mexico.

I hit the ground running looking for work in Radio in Gallup, I wanted this one BAD today. I tried to sell myself to the secretaries as usual. And they were friendly. One said that they weren't there, but she offered me some orange juice and some promotional life water. That was nice. The other station I went to had nobody in there but the jock. I waited for someone to come out and a cat jumped on me as another one walked by, IN THE RADIO STATION. The jock yelled out to me, "Nobody is here, they are all out to lunch!" I decided, that it wasn't worth coming back. I don't mind cats at all, but I ain't gonna work in a place with cats roaming about. Although it would be funny.
The last station of the day, the program director spoke with me. He and his staff are bitter about the radio industry. I can't blame him, but he thinks its really the fault of the programers. I half way agree with him. But he took an honest interest in my resume and politely said, "If anything opens up man, I sure to give you a strong consideration."

The rest of the day, I went searching for individuals I know. I couldn't find anyone. Phone numbers had changed and people had moved. The only people I could find were the investigators who weren't too interested. I would have visited, but what would I say, I certainly can't play the missionary card again.

My older brother called last night and was making sure i was NOT going to come to Gallup. Most of my friends really never understood what had transpired in my life at that time. I guess the truth was hard to understand. Most everyone outside my religion felt it was the worst thing that happend to me. That I sacrificed a girl I loved, a job that was great and a spot in the Hottest band in Sacramento, The Jackie Greene band. Some people still remind me that if it wasn't for the mission..... Now as I see Gallup and enjoy it so much, I now remember how the real traumatic memories were coming back to Sacramento. Losing the mission was the hardest part. Its easy for me to remember why now. I just loved the Navajos.....unconditionally. I was meant to be there. I would have done anything for them...... I still would. I would dare anybody to ask me if I would do it all over again.

I loved my day in Gallup, even though there were no jobs, I loved seeing how the town had really cleaned up its image. Its much nicer and BIGGER. Much more of a tourist trap than before. The economy seems to be doing fine there. Oddly enough because when the economy was great, it seemed to be doing awful.....Wierd.

I dragged my feat as I went to Arizona. I skipped Flagstaff, I'll tag it on my way back up to Las Vegas. But I did see the Petrified forest and the painted Desert National Park. It was terrific. SO terrific that I sped through just five miles of it and turned around. I don't want to experience everything by myself. I want to save somethings for when I have someone with me. Besides, sometimes the greater the experience is, the more it sucks when you are by yourself.

I took 87 the B highway to Gilbert AZ. It was darkening with overcast. I had no idea how many mountains there is in AZ. But its impressive. I saw a really dramatic sight for a long drive going to AZ. I love the southwest. Its the best. People ask me if I am getting tired of driving. NEVER! If I could do it for a living (if its not a big truck) I would consider it. I love the open road. I can just think and have the greatest chains of thought run through my head about anything. Its been the greatest thing ever. And I decided if I ever became a writer, I would move to New Mexico or Arizona. The sky would be the greatest inspiration for me.

scripture:Ether 4:1

Day 58 Gallup NM song: Rest Of My Life - Less Than Jake

2009-06-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

Last night my hosts Megan and Geren were telling me about their, "How they found each other" story. I really love those stories. I imagined their story to be a good one and it was. It was heartwarming and hilarious at the same time. Geren told me he believes that marriages are nothing short of miracles..... I think he might be right.

Megan and Geren were about as hospitibul as I could ever ask for. They rolled out the red carpet. One more reminder, of how I am going to have a real open door for people to stay at my place when I get one. I am forever indebted to a lot of friends. And that is fine by me. They will always be welcomed with me.

I did my normal routine of going to the radio stations and hand delivering my resume's. Like most places, the Program Directors are in meetings as soon as I get there. Which is funny, because I never remember the guys I worked for to be THAT busy. But, with the radio down sizing, we have a lot less people with the same amount of work.

There had been an Opening I was told about for a morningshow co-host position in the four corners area. I heard they were mostly getting locals to audition on the air. I figured I might have a leg up. Unfortunately, I missed the guy I was supposed to talk to for that, but I get the sense from the lack of info on the website, that the position was filled. Thats too bad, because I really thought I might hit the jack pot. But there is still plenty of country to see.

Megan and Geren bought me lunch at a great southwestern resturaunt, I had me some green chili in my burrito and I loved it. Mexican food tastes better out here. Afterwards I had to leave, as much as I had a great time, it was time to go to the place I most feared... Gallup.

When I arrived close to Gallup I saw an old Shi Ma (Navajo grandma) hitchhiking with a crutch and a bag of fruts and vegies. I picked her up and took her to her destination. Then I saw a middle aged Navajo man hitch hiking as well. I picked him up too. His name is Jefferson, he was indeed grateful for the ride. He wasn't used to hitch hiking yet. I found that wierd. In Gallup, thats part of the culture. He told me about his life and I immediately went into missionary mode. It was an instinct of mine I guess. We talked and had good conversation, he told me he was in the marines many years ago. I thanked him for his service as he left my car and he turned around and said, "Nobody has ever thanked me for that before..... You just made my day." He left and I shouted "HAGONET!" That means Go in Peace in Navajo.

It felt great to serve the Navajos. I still feel my kinship with them.

For those of you who don't know. I served a mission in Gallup NM. It wasn't the mission home, but thats really the only placed I served......I came back early.... VERY early. Yes, I had an honorable release. I suffered from serious depression that met its culmination out in New Mexico.....It never sat well with me. I LOVED my time out there and I never go a day without thinking about it, nearly 7 years later. I served as HARD as I could and I left no regrets behind....except that I couldn't finish what I started. It took me several years to come back to being a normal person. I atest that defeating clinical depression as my greatest achievement in life..... anyone else would too. By the time I got better, I was old, time to move on. Coming here was the big test for me, to see if I am really ok and moved on. I was terrified of what the truth may hold.

As it turns out, I am ok. I think that I have finally made my peace with my past. Now there is no question in my heart that I had out run the demons that haunted me. It may seem wierd, but this to me, is the most triumphant moment in this journey. As I drove down memory lanes of all the places I used to go, the roads I used to hitchhike, the reservations, the old apartment, church.... Everything. I am doing ok, I only had pleasant memories. It wasn't the hardness of the mission that led me to my struggles, its just where I realized the seriousness of my issues. The beast is gone now, I couldn't be more grateful that I finally won, there is nothing more to prove. The atonement really lifted away those feelings.

I never did get to cross the finish line of a mission, and that monkey has been on my back everyday since. I am ok with him being there. I will never feel like my work is done, like my service has been rendered and I paid my dues. I will always continue to do service, the way it had been done for me. Thats the way I want to live my life.

I spent the night at the Red Rock state Park campground. I got to catch some of the Gallup Rodeo. And I did a tiny bit of country dancing with the Navajos to the country band. But I am so bad at country dancing that I let it go and went to camp. I camped deep down in the desert canyon as far away from civilization as I could. A place that was untouched as possible by people. It was the most pure spot in the park. I was surrounded by dramatic and tall red rocks and mesas. I slept underneath the stars and stared at the brightness and glory. I may not have landed a job today or at all on this trip. But, there is no question in my mind, this was the right thing to do.

scripture: Ephesians 1:7

Day 57 Aluquerque/ Santa Fe song: Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2

2009-06-17T21:39:00.001-07:00

I woke up to a text informing me that the rock station in Roswell wants to interview me on the morning show sharing my experiences and offering a hotel room. Unfortunately, I had already left town and was too far away, but that would have been a lot of fun.

I stayed last night with a guy named John. He is the roomate of a guy who knows a girl who knows a guy I know. Swing Connection. He was very hospitibul gave me a nice bed and breakfast and left me with a snack pack for the road. Awesome!

Albuquerque has had some serious radio consolodation. All of the stations are in two buildings and that is it. Radio stations used to be privately owned and small organizations until 1995. The telecommunications act was signed so that people could own several radio stations in a given market and put them all in one building. Then they were run by rich white dudes in New York who were all about sales and business who had no interest in radio. This marked the beggining of the end of radio as we once loved it.

I hate to sound politcal. I am not a Bill Clinton hater. I appreciate him serving our country and he did some terrific things. Which I would thank him for if I ever met him. But then I would grab him by his FAT neck and stare him in the eye and demand he apologizes to the world for signing the act that ruined one of the greatest contributions to culture in our society.

Needless to say, my efforts to get in these large radio buildings were futile at best. Receptionists don't care to help a brother out. They were never jocks, they don't understand. I left Albuquerque feeling unsuccessful. So I stopped on by the Albuquerque Temple for a moment of peace. Every moment in New Mexico is a moment of peace, but even more so when you are at the temple. I love its beauty, its solitude and color. It compliments the land like most of the southwest does. I had some good strong feelings that I am on the right path.

I then found I had an encouraging e-mail from Jeff the General Manager in Columbus Ohio, telling me not to give up, That I am a talented man and that I will find good work and I will do great in the business. Boy! did I need that. Especially from a guy so powerful in the radio industry.

Its a funny thing. In my life, I have delt with serious self confidence issues. I never believed I was any good at radio, guitar, vocals, TV, Writing or anything I did. I only felt that I was good in fooling people who didn't know better. Before I took this journey, I still had some of that in me. I still doubt my self constantly. But now, I fully believe I could do great things in radio. That I could become an extremely valuable asset to any market. But oddly enough, for the first time in my life, nobody is giving me a chance. When I didn't believe in myself, everyone else did. Now that I do have faith, well, nobody is giving me the chance. Thats ok, I will march on.

Just after that I recieved a phone call from my Mother. She informed me that I got a letter from a radio station and an application from a station in Amarillo Texas. If that isn't a kick to the pants, nothing is. I don't know for sure what it means to have an official application overnighted to your house, but imagine its not a bad sign. I believe the Trigga Man was right when he told me the most intriguing point of the journey should be at the nexus where the journey crosses. Which is Amarillo. America's arm pit. But, beggers can't be choosers, the market size isn't too small, I may learn to love it yet.................................please kill me.

Santa Fe has great stations, I dropped off my stuff there. At least the receptionists are nice. But of course, program directors are ALWAYS at a meeting or out to lunch no matter when you show up. Thats ok, I do what I can.

I spent the rest of the evening driving to my friends Megan and Geren's home in Aztec, where I have another lead to follow. Its nice to have a good couple to stay with, we shared stories and had some laughs. I can't believe how blessed I am to have the people in my life. I don't know how I got this lucky in my life, but I sure do appreciate it.

scripture: TBD

Day 56 Albuquerque NM song: Alien - Bush

2009-06-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

The best sleep I have had all journey was in the roswell campground. It was heavenly. So cheap and so accomodating. I spent my morning as usual in the starbucks using the internet and mapping out my day. I have become one of those dorks who wears tight black and a beret and orders a very particular coffee as they spend hours typing away on their lap top. All of that except the coffee, tight black and beret.

The first station I went to went like this. "Sorry, WE DON'T TAKE CALIFORNIANS ANYMORE!! Haha, sorry, just messin' with ya. You came all the way out here for a job? Well, we do have a position opening, I don't know if its part time or full time, but I will listen to what you got and we will see from there. You do know there is NOTHING to do in Roswell."
"There is for me." I replied.

The next station was a T.V. station. Marcus the engineer spoke with me. He was generous with his time and told me stories of friends he knew who started in tiny towns and in no time, went to the big top. He also gave me some contacts to explore around New Mexico. I only had time for a couple, but he really wanted to help me out as much as he could. He informed me that the tv station doesn't do local news anymore. They only had one opening for a reporter a month ago and its been filled. All the stations in New Mexico just pipe in Albuquerque's news. Consolodation has gotten to the tv world. There is no voice for the little town.

I stopped at one more station in Roswell. The station that had all the popular stations. I was greeted by a dude named Joe who looked like the angry rock n' roll comedian from the 80's Sam Kineson. He was hilarious and bitter about what corporate America had done and is doing to radio. He spoke quick and was lightening witted. He is a rock jock who seems very talented. He is a bit of a pessimist of the radio industry though. He said that us jocks are a dying breed. And in ten years, there will only be ten of them left. Of course he was exaggerating, but I know what he meant, and I don't blame him for being angry.

Joe introduced me to his boss the morning show host, program director, general manager, sales manager and probably more. He name is Caiti, she was awfully nice to give me her time. She has only worked at that station and it is independantly owned. we spoke of radio and how much that independant stations are the only ones left who have the soul of radio. She was way cool. She like many of the others told me that if she had a job opening..... Which I don't mind hearing, because at least people are taking me seriously.

Before I left Roswell, I checked out the alien museum. Its ok. The whole alien tourist trap is a little dissapointing. Roswell is a town that could really do a lot to become a bigger and better town. I honestly believe I wouldn't mind living there, because I know that I can make that place a more happening town. It just needs a touch of rock n' roll in their diet and they are good to go. I think I would have fun trying to bring together the community in their area.

Roswell has possibly the coolest music store I have ever been too. And they have openings for guitar instructors. If I needed a second part time job if I got one there, I know that I could get one and do well.

I left Roswell for another hour in the desert to Riodoso NM. A smaller town out in the mountains in NM. Very isolated. Nobody was there to speak with, but I left my material anyway and was off to Albuquerque.

I have been to Albuquerque before. Its where my mission home was when I served. I never really served much in Albuquerque. Just a couple of days if I remember correctly. I remembered the town being much bigger than it is. Thats ok. I love the landscape of Albuquerque. I dig the southwest. My friend Michelle from Albuquerque pointed me out to some of the cool things to do out there, but there really isn't any touristy things outside of the baloon festival. There was a college town scene and of course a music scene. But I didn't take any interest oddly enough. I just fell in love with the night air. I went out to a bluff overlooking the brightlights and big city of Albuquerque. It was very much a place that a teenager would have taken his girlfriend..... I of course was alone.... Thats ok, I wanted to soak it in. Once again, there really isn't much to do in New Mexico. But I can't help but love it. For no reason at all. It feels like home. The night sky is the best I have ever seen. Its almost intoxicating. I feel like I am in a Pink Floyd song out there, so connected with the stars. Like I said before, this is definately a good place for an alien to come and visit.

scripture: Enos 1:4

Day 55 Amarillo To Roswell NM song: Amarillo By Morning - George Strait

2009-06-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

Last night, my tent completely collapsed on me. I vaguely remember it, but when it happend I said to myself, "ahhhhh screw it." Then there was a thunderstorm I guess because my tent was completely wet and not water proof. When I got up I spent at least 2 minutes trying to find my way out of my collapsed and we tent. Worming my way around until I found my zipper. When I arose from my fallen home I was being watched by two different camp sites. They didn't know whether to feel bad for me or laugh histerically. Eventually they all chose laughter. One of the camp groups was very hippy and I suspect in the middle of cleaning out their bongs when they watched me get up. the other was a family who looked like Ward and June Cleaver with their perfect children. The Hippy group said, "whoa, it was like watching an adult being born! Only, coming out of a little wet cacoon." While laughing they all expressed concern and one even got me a towel. Oddly enough, I was fine, I wasn't cold or sick. Just a little wet. To them this was wierd. To me it was Monday. The funny thing for me is, the only other time my tent collapsed was in Amarillo, which is where I am again. Amarillo is the Nexus of the trip. Because its the only place where my path actually crosses. Amarillo, is a perfect place for a nexus.

After I dried my self, the tent, my things and got showered and washed clothes, I was takin' care of business. I got my oil changed again and my tires rotated. That to me is really all Amarillo is good for. I can't stand it out there. I imagine, if ever I choose that I want to die a slow death, I will move to Amarillo, take up drinking Jim Beam and listen to Tobey Keith, NON STOP. Its a stinky, hot place with nothing but a famous red neck restuarant. This is really the only city in the nation I have seen that I want nothing to do with. HOWEVER. I still did my business and delivered resumes. I delt with careless receptionist after receptionist. Only one who actually cared enough to help me out, I think that was because she is a recent college grad too. But I didn't mind too much getting shafted. I'll tell you why. Because, looking for a job in Amarillo, is like going on a date with a girl you have NO interest in at all. But, because you're a nice guy, you give it your best shot because you never know. But no matter what happens, at the end of the date, you're praying that she NEVER calls you.

I went out west to New Mexico. I first went to Fort Sumner because I was told it was a good size small town. It wasn't. It was too tiny for a radio station. Nothing there for me. But, I did check out the Billy the Kid museum. For those of you who don't know, that is where Billy was Shot dead by Pat Garrett. I also visited his grave. The museum was mostly stuff that existed while he was alive and articles written about him. And a lot of stuff that existed several decades later. The only thing they had of Billy's was his rifle. Still, I dug it. One thing I found interesting, was according to the stories I read there, the movies they made "young guns" were actually fairly accurately done. They were dramatized sure, but they had mostly historical facts in there. Which cracks me up because growing up I was always told that those movies had little to no truth in them. I don't know people get ideas and pass them as facts because it makes sense in their minds. Anywho, score one for Hollywood.

I decided to travel south. I wanted to See Roswell NM. All I know of Roswell, is that its a market that would be a reasonable start for me in broadcasting, and there was alien landings there and government coverups.
The town thrives off the Alien hunting tourism. Its pretty cool, they have alien museums and gift shops and coffee shops. Even the Fast food joints are all about aliens. Its awesome. It mostly appeals to little kids and pot-heads. Or people who think somewhere between a little kid and a pot head......This is where I come in. I love the alien thing they have, its really fun.
As it turns out, there is absolutely NOTHING to do in Roswell at night, NOTHING AT ALL. No sports or music or anything you can imagine, not even a movie theatre. And as it turns out, the myth of the alien landing was only because it was a goverment air baloon that went haywire at night but looked like a UFO. That is the most excepted theory, but some choose to believe that it could have been aliens. I really don't have an opinion.

However, for some reason, I love this place. New Mexico is the most peaceful place in America, in my opinion. I can't think of any logical reason, but I hope to land a job out here someday. I know I can be happy here. Maybe even raise a family here. Its not real rich, but its not a ghetto either. It just kinda feels like.....home.

I have been star gazing, (alien watching) for a while on the hood of my car like in Wayne's World.(don't you dare laugh at me right now, I am having a moment) And I think I have one good arguement for the Alien believers. It is that, If I were a space exploring Alien, trying to get away or find a peaceful place. I think New Mexico is where I would land too, if I were from another planet.

scripture:2nd Nephi 4:15

Day 54 Oklahoma song: Learning the Hard Way - Gin Blossoms

2009-06-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

Church this morning was in an Elementary School. The real church was under serious renovation, so I had church in elementary school cafeteria. I met some nice guys out there. One dude named Spencer in particular immediately wanted to help me in my quest. And after five minutes of knowing me offered me his number offering any help he could give. I am always humbled by the kindness of strangers.

Off to Amarillo by way of Route 66. This was the reason I took this trip. And now, I finally get to do it. I broke the Sabbath to check out the Route 66 museum for 3 dollars. Loved it, I really love the whole story of route 66. Ever since I read the Grapes of Wrath and books on 66 for so long. I don't think my road trip actually satisfies any of that to me. I won't have much of it at all on my journey. I am just too zig zagged. I will have to do another journey through sixty six someday. Hopefully, that time with my wife.

I saw the Biggerst Crucifix on the western hemisphere in Texas. Its in the middle of nowhere of 66. I had never heard of it until that afternoon. One thing about the south is, its REALLY Christian. But in some cases to a fault. Some of the Religious paraphanellia to me seems almost more disrespectful then reverent. Some billboards and such I have seen almost seem to mis-represent the savior. When I saw this cross off the highway that looked like it was built from tin roof material. I expected this to be a monument of blasphemous things. But it wasn't. This cross out in the middle of NOWHERE texas, was actually very tastefully done. A lot of money was spent to show reverence to what it represents. It had lots of statues telling the story of Christ's last day. My hat was off.

Because of the Slowness of 66, I got to thinkin'. How much I have enjoyed this journey. How I don't want it to end. EVER!!! I have loved it too much. Maybe I can find a career where I just travel. But I can't, I don't want to choose to stay single forever. I walk into this canundrum of how much I like to travel on my own. But when I get to a place that is REAL COOL, is when I get lonely. Not that I mind, I love this journey. In fact, it really gave me a travel bug. I used to hate, driving long distances. Honestly, and I was terrified of taking this trip, but I knew I had to do it. Now, I can't get enough of it. Even the boring states are beautiful to me. I have fallen for America. One City at time.

scripture: 1st Nephi 10:13

Day 53 Oklahoma City song: Route 66 - Bobby Troup

2009-06-14T10:59:00.000-07:00

Didn't want to leave Kansas City, but funds are low, time is short. And like Merle Haggard, I am a lonesome fugitive. He who travels fatest, goes alone.

I had to skip St. Louis. This made me sad, because I wanted to see the gateway from the east to west. But I had to move south. I went through Missourie and Kansas into oklahoma. People had told me that those states were some of the hardest to drive through. I beg to differ. The route I took was completely pleasant. But that didn't matter because on the phone my good friend Michelle accompanied me most of the way. Michelle is a good friend to have. Someone who you can trust to speak anything about. Completely honest and our conversations can go from absolutely meaningless to as deep as you can imagine in seconds. We spoke on the perspective of this trip. Why am I still doing this?
I really don't know what made me take this trip. People like Thermal and Ken in D.C. had asked me, "would you really move to anyone of these towns you get an offer in?" And the truth is, I don't know. I don't feel like I have much choice but to move their. But I have been waiting for my one possible job opportunity from Kalamazoo to call me. I told my friend Steig from Kalamazoo and his response was, "You better find a woman before you get out there. 'Cause you will not find one there."
These are the thoughts that have gotten me lost on this journey. I'm still not sure what I'm looking for. Michelle helped me clear some of these questions up. The decision is that there is many things out on the road that I need to learn that I can't anywhere else. many people I need to meet and things I need to see and do. I guess I always knew that, but some days I focus so much on trying to get a job that, I lose sight of what is all around me.

I got into Tulsa thinking this is where I was going to stop for the day. Tulsa is a nice town. Bigger than I imagined. And pretty clean. Not a ghetto. But I went to the computer to find something to do. And there was NOTHING. Every cool museum was closed. I couldn't find a nice park, museum, music venue, tourist trap, sporting event. I even tried social dancing. NOTHING! So I did my routine of dropping off resumes and moved along to Oklahoma City.

Oklahoma City, much like most cities I have found in the country, is MUCH bigger than I had imagined. In fact, I would go as far as to say that Oklahoma City is the BEST kept secret in the U.S. This place is happening. No joke. I found immediately an area of town called, Bricktown. This was like a classy version of Beale St Memphis or Bourbon St New Orleans. It had a nice river walk next to well designed resturaunts and a movie theatres and clubs. The music scene out here is a SENSORY OVERLOAD. I almost had a heart attack. Do I go check out the dueling pianos? The lonesome sax player? the Smokey jazz lounge? The Rock Venue? the Blues band? The country band? The accoustic cover song dude? Where do I go? I wished I could clone myself like Micheal Keaton in Multiplicity. And it was all classy, almost family friendly. Tried to see it all. I loved it. But as the night rolled on, the demographics changed. It went from families to single and desperate people. Dorks with popped collars and women who have daddy issues. My enthusiasm was attenuated to doing a complete 180. I felt I would be happier somewhere else. Besides, I didn't have money for that kind of fun.

However, I did check out the blues band playing in the park. The band was a pretty text book blues band, good but nothing to write home about. After playing in the Jackie Greene band as long as I did, I became a real music snob. But I was very entertained by the folks dancing to the slow blues. Unlike in Kansas city, I was NOT going to be apart of this dancing. It comprised mostly of single people in their 50's whering tank tops, and mullets. Both male and female. And dancing very suggestively while intoxicated with papst blue ribbon. It was like watching a race car wreck. You don't want to see it, but dang it, as long as its going on your not going to miss a SECOND OF IT! I sat there hoping that when I am 80 years old, some 20 year old couple will vomit at the sight of me dancing to blues in the park with my 80 year old wife, moving just slightly inappropriately.

All and all. Oklahoma city is a good place. I unfortunately can't do any job hunting while here. I forced myself to keep a schedule. I have to be in Sacramento by the fourth of July. That means, I have to keep moving. But now I am on Route 66 (actually 40) which was the beggining of this whole trip I was intending to take. It seems so tiny after being on the road for nearly 8 weeks.

scripture: Matthew 5:45

Day 52 Kansas City M.O. song: Kansas City - Little Willie Littlefield

2009-06-13T05:46:00.000-07:00

I felt pretty gross and uncomfortable in my car as I pulled out of Hannibal Missourie in the morning. But I already had a late jump on the day. No time for anything, I had 4 more hours of driving before my early appoinment in Kansas City.

Once again, I pulled in to a town thinking it was going to be much smaller than it was. Kansas City is HUGE. I really didn't know. But I quickly fought through traffic and met my contact at the local fox news station. His name is Thermal and is an accountant for Fox. Jeffrey from Columbus sent me to him. Thermal could not have been friendlier and more helpful. He seemed almost as excited to meet me as I was him. He took me to his buddy Larry's office where we just discussed radio and tv. They listened and respected my ideas. It felt great. They already knew way more about me than any of my other contacts did. They have been checking on the blog for a little while and they watched my interview of Fox. They were impressed. I can tell they wish they had something for me, but Thermal informed me that the station they are working at, 3 years ago employed 200 people. Now they are down to 50. But, he introduced me to the News Director anyway.

The News Director was a man named George. Just by looking at him, you can tell he is ALL business, and his time is valuable. I was right. He was nice enough, but I knew that he was going to be a real broadcasting Simon Cowell, not afraid to speak the harsh truth and will say it as instantly as he thinks it.
"Well, your first mistake is trying to get a job in Kansas City. We wouldn't hire you if we were hiring. Maybe not even entry level stuff. You gotta pay your dues in a small market. Kansas City is going to be your 3rd or 4th market jump. You need to take that first job in one of those places you mention like Kalamazoo, or Clarksburg or Gruene. Or try Yuma Arizona.
Now lets look at your resume......First thing, Get rid of ROCKNROLLRANDY@HOTMAIL Thats unprofessional. You want to be taken seriously you need to have an e-mail that says rcpeterson at hotmail or something. Other than that, your resume looks good. You have a good amount of experience and it should land you a job somewhere.
Next lets look at your demo reel."
(George is the first person to look at my demo reel while I was there to watch. When you open my demo reel the first thing that pops up is the menu put to some quiet rockabilly guitar).
"You already lost the job. Why is there rockabilly music there? It doesn't make sense. You only have 30 seconds to get my attention and you don't want to confuse me in that time. But, since this is only a practice, I will watch one of your clips anyways.....(he watched a news story I did) You can't call something a NEW TRADITION, that is an oxymoron....... Other than that, I am impressed. You write really well, you speak well and you have a good presence on camera. You have all the tools that you need. You have what it takes. You just need to improve some of the presentation on your resume and demo reel. And also make sure your answering machine on your phone is professional, you do NOT want something stupid. Is yours professional?"
"Of course!" (as I remember mine says: Hit Paydirt with KDRT, this is Randy, leave me a message, if you're important enough, I will call you back.)

Hearing what George had to say was tough, but I know he was being honest, and when he said something good, you know he meant it.He worked in broadcasting for forty years, he knows his stuff. So I feel I did pretty well all in all. He gave me a contact to explore at KSL in Salt Lake City. He also asked to keep my demo-reel. I just hope its not to laugh at me later. But I think he honestly saw some real potential in me. But, he is going to wait for me to pay my dues first.
He was awfully nice to give me so much of his time. I can tell he doesn't have much especially since he couldn't hire me anyway. And the funny thing is about this trip, I have really seen that those who have the least, often are the ones who give the most.

When that meeting was over, Thermal and Larry left me a HUGE stack of my resume on the counter in nice paper so I never run out. Thermal also left me an envelope with a generous contribution to my funds. My heart sank. I didn't know how to thank him. But he wasn't there. All I can do is keep on keeping on and not let anybody down. I really would hope to land a Job where Thermal works.

Afterwards I hit the ground running at the local radio stations. Kansas City, is radio consolodation at its WORST. They have about 20 radio stations, in about 3 buildings. The older woman at Entercom was less than helpful. I doubt the my air checks will get listened to. If I ever walk into a restaurant before she does, I will let her get her own dang door......that'll show her.
The dude who worked reception at Cumulus radio was cool. He looked like Luke Skywalker and seemed to want to help me. He promised he would personally deliver my resume and gave me a number to call next week to see what his boss thought. Now he is another guy I hope to work with, its that kind of kindness that people want to return.

With that few building and that many radio stations, it doesn't take much to be finished. So I was done in time to spend that money Thermal gave me. First thing, I needed a new shirt. The one I was wearing to all the radio and tv stations is getting worn out and ratty looking. So I got a good deal at target for a sexy stripped shirt. yeeeah. With the rest of the money, I bought a ticket for the Jazz Musuem and the Negro Baseball League Museum. Both AWESOME MUSEUMS. If you are ever in Kansas City and you don't go to those museums, consider your time wasted. You will never regret. The Jazz Museum was plain cool. Especially for me, because for the past year and a half, I have been trying to study and understand jazz. Its hard, even for a blues musician. But I have listened to a ton of legendary Jazz on the road and its finally coming together better. Now when I hear the sounds, I can tune everything out and I can hear what the musicians are trying to tell us. Somewhat. Jazz is an experience that inspires passion, and endurance. I used to say Jazz was just messed up blues.... I was wrong. My Jazz History professor whom I had argued with many times on the subject of jazz, had become so much more intelligent and wisdomatic in my head. I think he was right on more accounts than I gave him credit for.

Just when I thought I should quit while I was ahead, I saw the Negro Baseball museum across the hall. THAT TOO WAS AWESOME! It was inspiring, I didn't know the league started in Kansas City. The museum was powerful and well done, as a lot of museums I have witnessed along the country. But these ones moved me. I didn't know how much MoJo was in Kansas City. When you think about it, Some of the United States greatest contribution to world culture is Jazz/Blues and Baseball, which Kansas City really plays a great role in.

Afterwards I checked into the KOA and got me a shower. I desperately needed it. Then I went to see the Kansas City royals. All the cheap tickets were gone, which upset me because, the game looked awesome. The stands looked to be almost to capacity, and the stadium looked AWESOME. The fans were wild and intense. Every time a Royal would hit a homerun, the stadium would launch fireworks. I decided you can tell a lot about a town by how they get into their baseball teams. I watched and hung out, outside by a scalper named Thomas who thought I looked like Justin Timberlake. He was funny, but he kept pestering people about giving him bus fare. He was just lying to make money. He makes more money lying than I do panhandling by far. I decided not to hang much with Thomas, it made me sick. After all the things people have done for me, to watch someone take advantage of others made me sick.

So I went to the legendary drag of 18th and Vine. I went to the Blue Room. This is the classiest joint I have been to all trip. They had a REAL jazz band there. It wasn't some bunch of White dudes with leather vests and white ponytails playing Jazz. For these guys, jazz was not a hobby, but their commitment to life. They were having fun and communicating to the crowd in more ways than one. This club was rad. I suspect the next time I get serious with a woman, this is where I will take her to impress her. I will take her to a Royals night game and cap it off with a dinner at the Blue Room with some dancing.

Aftwards, I left completely satisfied. Except now I got greedy. I went to one more club across the street. There was the most AMAZING funk band playing for really cheap. The front man was by far one of the most entertaining Individuals I had ever seen, and I have seen a lot. It was like watching Bootsy Collins, Jaco Pestoria and Maceo Parker all in one, with a twist of Flava Flav.
The club was also very classy with a strict dress code. But this one was definately younger. And I was without question. THE ONLY WHITE DUDE THERE!. It was a total juke joint and it was packed with about 200 people. I got some funny looks at first, but when a pretty girl named Tia asked me if I can dance, and I responded with a grin, "DO I !?!?" I got on the floor and danced, and then I WAS IN !!! Suddenly I was popular. Not because I am a good dancer, but I wasn't under stiff competition. A few of the ladies wanted to dance with me. Afterwards a gentlmen asked me,
"Boy, whered you learn to dance like that?"
I responded in my liliest white boy voice, "BYU-Idaho sir."
"Heheh HAaag, boy, Idaho?! You a loong way from home."
"thats wierd, because I was just starting to think I opposite."

scripture: Revelations 2:19

Day 51 Nauvoo IL song: The Long Way Home - Norah Jones

2009-06-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

Leaving The Parkers home was hard. Who knows if and when I will see another bed, let along a warm cooked meal. Not to mention, friends that I have no idea if and when I will see them again. But like Celine Dion, my heart must go on.

I drove towards St. Louis by way of Nauvoo IL first. One thing I have not done since being on this trip is go inside a temple. When I got there, I only intended on visiting for a few moments and leaving. But I just walked in without thinking. I just did some work. A lot of work in there, for several hours. I spent time in there just thinking. Thinking about what I am doing and wondering if I got off course somewhere. Or more importantly, where am I supposed to end up. Where is the logical end of this journey? Only a non believer comes to the temple expecting only a logical answer.

While in the temple, many of the volunteer workers were interested in my story when they asked where I was from. One gentleman by the name of Brother Howard asked me, "You look like you speak spanish do you?....Oh well if you did, that would help you on your journey. You need to go to the visiters center and pick up a Book of Mormon from the Sister Missionaries in Spanish. And then read it for 15 minutes a day until you learn it. Even if you don't understand it. Will you do this?"

That is a heck of a thing to try to get a stranger to commit to. Even stranger thing for me to actually commit to. I did exactly as he said. I didn't think about it, I just did it. I met with the missionaries who told me of all of the events going on in town that are free that I just "HAVE" to go see. And I was informed of somebody who would be able to help me on my quest. So I stayed. It was too late to go to St. Louis and get anything done at this point anyway.

I saw a play that was about the upstart of Nauvoo. It was done by senior citezens at LEAST 70 and up. Now, I have always thought it was cute for kids to play adults. But it is so much greater to watch old dudes play young folk. IT WAS AWESOME. You have not seen theatre until you have seen it done COMPLETELY by old people. These people were just retired and have fun just being apart of this fun show. You can't miss it if you go to this town.

Afterwards there was a special free performance by the BYU Ballroom team. I couldn't find the guy everyone was telling me about to meet with. So I had nothing else to do but watch the BYU dancers. I didn't know this but, they were known as some of the best in the country and probably the world. Now I am a dude. I have never willingly gone to watch ballroom unless it was for a girlfriend or something. But I really enjoyed this, and I was by myself. Before I wasn't sure how much it had to do with the company I was with but this time it was just me. And I didn't enjoy this performance because I was checking out the chicks either. Granted I did want to take a couple of them for a spin, (litterally not figuratively) but that was not it. I just enjoyed it.
I'll tell you, if ever any of you ever catch me watching dancing with the stars bymyself, I want you to back hand me and start quoting Jim Mora, Vince Lombardi and Mike Ditka. I fear for my future as a dude.

I spent the night in the town that Mark Twain came from. I am going to have to skip St. Louis for now and go straight to Kansas City. I have an appointment and I can NOT afford to miss those.

scripture: TBD

Day 50 Cedar Rapids Iowa song: Tuesdays Gone - Lynyrd Skynyrd

2009-06-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

This morning I accidently let it slip that it was my birthday the night before. Loretta (my host) made me a huge breakfast and asked me what kind of cake I like.

I found that I ran out of my massive stack of resumes. I don't know how to look at that. I gave out all those resume's and I got no jobs, or I have been hard at work. I guess for sanities sake, I will take the optimistic route. But I had to spend a good portion of the day making more resumes and more air-checks. When I got done, I still had plenty of time to get to all of the stations in town. The news station had me sit in the lobby for an hour as I waited for the news director. She came out and said, "Wow, you are really a brave man. I hope your documenting this. I'll tell ya, its the economy is why we can't hire right now. But I promise to take a look at your resume and tell you what I think if I'm interested. But I'll tell you, I have a stack of 300 of these. Good luck, and don't give up, you'll find something."

I have heard those words lots scattered throughout this journey. But thats ok, I don't let it get me down. Now I know for sure that at least she will take a look at my stuff and turn me down because I suck and not because I fell in line with all of the others.

I went to many of the radio stations in town. The biggest one in town had only two Program Directors with about five stations. And both of them were busy being on air when I arrived. That is not a good sign for this town, these were the biggest stations. I decided thats ok, I will leave my stuff anyway. Won't give up, won't give up, won't give up.

When I got back to Loretta and Garth's home, there was a cake baked for me and a present. They left me with a card with 40 dollars in it. I was speechless. I really don't know how to say thankyou to such generocity. I know I need it though. I can't survive without it. They also gave me an Iowa University shirt. Its pretty cool. Now I have a shirt from the Iowa area.

Later on I was set up on a blind date. Luckily for me, she was beautiful. Her name is Mellissa and she works in healthcare for people in Africa. She does a lot of traveling. She is older than me, and she spent a great deal of her life serving others, this is how she found her chi. She is perhaps the most spirtually grounded person I had ever met. We had some pie and spoke of how one can know where you are supposed to be. She had no problem completely opening up and sharing her perspective on the Gospel and telling me all that she feels. She seemed like she has been around forever with how much she knew about life. I envied her perspective and connection to the higher sphere. We spoke on what it is that makes people know where home is. Of course, I couldn't have the answer in one night. But hearing it from someone as intelligent as her, definately helps put things in perspective and gets me to closer to my goal.

scripture: 2nd Nephi 31:20

Day 49 Milwaukee WI song: What Made Milwaukee Famous - Jerry Lee lewis

2009-06-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

Last night Scott informed me he is a foot doctor. This is intriguing because I have been walking with a foot brace for the past week. He took a look at my foot and told me I probably just have a stress fracture. I will probably be ok as long as it feels better. Just need to remember to take the motrin Annie gave me.

I spent the morning bugging my friends to get a hold of Scott and his wife after I left. I forgot my phone in my hosts home last night. After I awoke a couple of my friends on the west coast to track them down, they came by the house to let me in only for me to find I had my phone in my back pack. Ask me if I feel like an idiot and I will say "Yes." But, I have only goofed up once in seven weeks so if your laughing, you can just "BACK OFF!!!"

I got to Milwaukee and I hit the nearest Starbucks to check my e-mail. I got a reminder that it is my birthday by a website called, "LDS ROMANCE." The fact that it was them who reminded was pretty back handed. Its like someone shaking your hand and wiping there shoes off on your leg at the same time. I don't even know how they found me and know my birthday. But today I turned 28 and they were the first to remember. Please shoot me now.

Milwaukee had some pretty cool radio stations and it seems that some good musical acts come around here. I spoke my normal routines with the receptionists. But I met my favorite receptionist yet. Her name is Lauren, pronounced "Lowen".
Lauren: "Daaaang boy, you travel faaar. All 'dem PDs are off atta meetin'."
Randy: "Yeah, I always seem to catch them right at the meeting time."
Lauren: "Yeah I promise you thas was really goin' on though. But I'll give 'em yo stuff and it'll find its way into their hands. Are you good?"
Randy: "As good as they come honey. I mean business."
Lauren: " Ha HAAAAAghh, boy you gonna do jus fine in dis business. Where you goin' next?"
Randy: "Iowa City."
Lauren: " Well look out IOWA CITY, HERE COMES RANDY CLIFF PETERSON FROM SACRAMENTO CALIFORNIA. HA HAAAAAAAGGHH. AND ITS HIS BIRTHDAY TOO. EVEN THOUGH HE LOOK LIKE 21 YEARS OLD HE'S 28 TODAY . Good luck, it was nice meetin' wit choo."
Lauren: "Like wise."

Afterwards I checked out the miller brewing company. I did the free tour. It wasn't that interesting. I guess if you don't drink it means nothing to you. But I loved the tour guides thick wiscAAnsin accent. I then saw where the Brewers play. But I didn't have the time to stay for a game. I am running out of money, and I need to move forward. Oh yes, and I found that Sharks brewery was made up for Laverne and Shirley. So I didn't get to visit it, but I constantly had the theme song stuck in my head the entire time I was in Milwaukee. I did like milwaukee though, its pretty industrial and old as can be, but it had a little charm to it. However, I didn't feel like I was going to call Milwaukee home.

I had a long drive going to Iowa city. I stopped at a cool little fifties fast food joint on the way. I used the restroom and found something disturbing. On the wall of the stall I used I read, "911 was an inside job." Under that I read, "Obama voter" pointing to the other quote. Then I read some harsh Anti-Obama statements followed by some racist statements that lead to a statement that read, "Kill Obama." I guess I was no longer in the east coast. Its funny, the first two weeks of my trip I noticed the entire country seemed to be pretty republican. Then I noticed that the rest of the country seemed to be divided or democrat after tennessee. The east coast has a flurry of Obama shirts everywhere. I caught myself wondering if all the love for Obama was because of the person he is or his politics? Then I read the writing on the bathroom reading kill Obama. I caught myself wondering if the hate has anything to do with the person he is or his politics? I have seen a lot of beautiful things in this country. But this was not one of them. I tried to erase the dirty remarks by scribbling over them. I was ashamed. Maybe we haven't come as far as I thought we have.

I got into Iowa City to visit my friends the Parker's. They were my serrogate LDS family who had me over for family home evenings on mondays for a long time. They had me over with welcomed arms. They got a kick out of my Fox interview and watched it several times. We got all caught up and such. They are so good to me, they would have me stay as long as I wanted. I wish I could have all of my friends in one place. I will stay here for one day, I have my work cut out for me here anyway. Then I got to go to Nauvoo then St. Louis. I won't have anybody for another week and a half on this journey. I got to enjoy the Parkers while I have someone.

scripture: luke 2: 10

Day 48 Chicago IL song: Baba O'Reilly - The Who

2009-06-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

Woke up to the sounds of the Bumble Bee's Dad singing along to the soundtrack of the Three Amigos, "my little butter cup, has the sweetest smile". The Bumblebee's (Steve) parents were great, they offered me breakfast and sent me on my way, they made me feel more than welcomed.

I had a lot of stations to hit up in Kalamazoo. I did my homework and went to them all and was done early. Nobody was really available to talk with me. One Program Director gave me about two minutes, but that was it. I don't think anything will come from Kalamazoo.

My next stop was Chicago. After the annoying tolls I got to work right away as well. Once again, everyone is TOO busy to speak with me, even after I have been e-mailing everyone ahead of time. Whats a boy to do? I got pretty exhausted in Chicago, so I saw a couple of sights. I went to Buddy Guy's blues bar, and found out that Brother John was hosting a blues jam, but only those who have instruments can join. I did not have a Bass guitar. That would have been AWESOME!!

I also saw where John Dillinger was shot dead. It was infront of a movie theatre. He shot down by a hail of gun-fire by the FBI. You KNOW WHO TIPPED THEM OFF??? It was his freaking girlfriend....... John just wanted to go to the movies....(whose with me?)

Other than that, I couldn't afford to park anywhere else in Chicago. As it turns out, the Chicago Blues Fest is this weekend. I have dreamed of going to that for YEARS. Ever since I was eighteen. But, I can't afford to stick around, I must keep moving forward.

After I felt like I didn't get anything accomplished today, I got a phone call from Kalamazoo.
Program Director: You Randy the gentlemen who left this resume and Air-Check with us today?"
Randy: "Yeeeah"
PD: "Well, I am going to pass this on to a person who is actually looking for a person EXACTLY like you. Your Air-Check is great! You sound like you could be a fun night time jock. I will pass this on to our country station if you don't mind?."
Randy: "No not at all. uuhh THANK YOU!"
PD: "No, THANK YOU!"

So thats cool, a guy who likes my stuff who didn't respond just because someone he knows referred me or because I have been driving all across the country. Also, I had another great connection from Cassie, the lovely girl I met in Boston. Her father is going to recomend me for a job opening in BYU's new broadcasting station.

My good friend Craig Berg (the Berglar) set me up with a place to stay just north of Chicago. His brother Scott and his wife. THEY ARE TERRIFIC. They would do anything for me. I can't believe how nice they have been to me and cool. I cannot describe how loved I have felt on this trip. I wish so badly I could find a way to pay everyone back. I wish I could do for the country what it has done for me. It almost makes me emotional. For now, all I can think of is, trying as hard as I can and giving this trip EVERYTHING I GOT.

scripture: Matthew 22: 37-39

Day 47 Kalamazoo MI song: Wide Open Spaces - The Dixie Chicks

2009-06-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

Had a good day in Church, stayed wide awake and analyzed the proclamation to the family. Katie's grandparents sent me away full with some really good left overs of some home cooked goodness. Katie and I said goodbyes of good luck to one another and I was off.

All the way to Kalamazoo Michigan. A long drive through Ohio, way too long. Not one of the more fun drives. I ran into two tolls without any money. I must say Kalamazoo is much smaller than I imagined but I may have some real leads to follow out here. We will see.

I am staying at my friend Steve (the Bumble Bee)' s house. I got to meet his parents the king and queen bee. They are very hospitibul and we watched some sports together. I also met the Bumble Bee's older brother Jason, and when he found out I was a Chris Webber fan (of course I am, I am from Sacramento) I. WAS. IN!! I think the folks from michigan hate the lakers for the same reason those from sacramento hate them. Because we are still upset about game six in the 2002 nba finals. Jason and I got a long great. Then he pointed me in the right direction of some radio stations to hit up for tomorrow. So now I have my day planned.
Thats all I got today. I can't wait to get back to work.

scripture: Alma 32: 42

Day 46 Cleveland OH song: God Gave Rock N' Roll To You - KISS

2009-06-07T18:41:00.000-07:00

Not much I can do as far as work goes on a saturday. I just stopped at a few places in Cleveland and off I went. Once again, I got a late start, the Nyquil has been putting me to sleep.

Finally, I got to the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. Its definately a wierd building. It looks more like a science building. Not as big as I imagined but its pretty impressive. As was the price. I didn't have the finances to go in. So, I had to panhandle some CASH for CASH. This took me a while to raise the money, but eventually I got in.

It may have been the happiest day of my life.

I really have been feeling withdrawn to the childish feelings of wanting to be a rock star. I can tell from taking this journey, that I am not the same as I used to be. That maybe I was meant to do more than rock. Today, I felt like my rock n' roll muscles were fully intact. Seeing the outfits worn by Freddie Mercury, Jon Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Presely and many others got me gitty. Tears almost came to my eyes when I saw legendary guitars, records, photos, lyric sheets. I remebered again why I love rock n' roll. Its not because of the glamour, the fun, or anything like that. Its that something that it puts inside of you that keeps you young forever. Rock n' Roll isn't something I choose to like, it chose me. Its in my blood and I can't help it. It will always be inside of me no matter how much I try to deny it.

Being in the Hall of Fame, I didn't know whether I should kneal at its front door or scoff at its existance. I love it and hate it at the same time. Rock n' Roll is the main ingredient to my dichotomous lifestyle. Part religion, part fiction. But I didn't care about any of that when I was there, I just loved it.
I read a quote while I was there. It read, "If you are not doing what you love, than you are wasting your time." - Billy Joel.
That quote couldn't leave my head. I stared at it. I guess thats easy to say if you are one of the most talented men in the history of the sport. But I think maybe he is right, at least for me. Maybe this is the key to why I took this trip. Because I can't stand not doing something I love. And dang it, I know its only rock n roll, but I like it. (Rolling Stones).
My favorite part of the museum was watching the induction videos. The best part was actually looking at the letter that Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols wrote when He denied acceptance the Rock N' Roll hall of fame. He wrote some mean Brittish colloquilsims in poor penmanship proving that he is pure punk rock until the end. It was pretty funny, you gotta respect Johnny Rotton.

The town of Cleveland was really nice. I can see myself migrating there someday. Its got sports, rock n roll and a good market size. My kinda place.

I capped the night with my mind heavy. I went back to see Katie and she took me with her friends to a drive-in to see the movies UP and A Night at the Museum 2. Lots of fun, but I spent most of the time thinking of how I can make my trip more sucessful. I need to find a way to really get in there and start doing some damage. I know that even if I don't find a jon it doesn't mean I wasn't sucessful. But it may mean, to survive, I need to be doing something I don't love. My time is running short, I need to be doing what I love, or die trying.

scripture: DnC 105:10

Day 45 Columbus OH song: Do You Remember Rock n' Roll Radio - The Ramones

2009-06-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

Feeling a little bit cranky this morning. As I still have a 300 dollar traffic ticket sittin' next to me as I had 3 hours of sleep sitting up at dirty little rest stop. But I had to keep going, I can't treat any meeting too lightly.

Pulling into Columbus was a bit of a shocker. I had no idea how big it was. It was HUGE. It was probably pretty close to Sacramento size. Maybe. And seemingly pretty nice and clean. Not too much to write home about. I checked out Ohio State for a bit, and its a pretty impressive campus. That would have been a fun school to go to.

Quickly though I rolled into the radio station (radio one) where I was going to meet with the program director Jeff. This radio One Building looked like it was designed by a guy who does Hot Rods. This was easily the fanciest tricked out looking radio station I have ever seen. It looked like a professional place where chaos is organized. Jeff greeted me wearing VERY casual clothes and asked, "I hope you don't mind? Its casual friday." Then he immediately escorted me to the studio where they broadcast live. The studio was built for star wars days. Its really ahead of anyother technology I have ever seen in radio. The best equipment imaginable. It was AWESOME!! But the morning show planned on having me as a guest. They had me on the air telling my story. They too liked the story. They seemed mostly intrigued about the book and the video, letting me know that there are a lot more avenues for me to go. The power morning team was great. They really made me feel comfortable and treated me like a respected guest. They even let me plug A Letter To Bob Dylan.

Right after the morningshow was done with me, I went back into Jeff's office. Jeff couldn't have been more terrific. He seemed not only interested in my story, but really interested in me. Like all the others, I feel he would like to have given me a job if he could. He informed me of how some of his staff made it to the top by making themselves very marketable. How they found ways to make themselves valuable. Not just being a jock, but by being something more. He gave me lots of sound advice, and he told me, "People once gave me an opportunity, and I just want to give back." I love people who believe in karma, or maybe social justice. It just makes the world turn easier. He taught me that the most important thing I can do with most of the people I meet is to stay in touch. That If I fail to do that, I may miss that job opportunity I searched so hard for. He also took the time to watch some of my BYU-Idaho dating show called Dating With Rockin' Randy. He loved it, infact he sees the need for that talent in the evolving times for radio to sell a bigger web presence with radio. That was the first time I met someone who gave me honest to goodness feedback who wasn't already a friend. He thought this could make me much more marketable.
Of course, because of the way things are, he couldn't hire anytime soon. But he also told me he believes "The worst is over. There won't be anymore layoffs for on-air persona. Its been getting better for the last two months. It will be a long time before it fully recovers, but its already getting better. And I won't tell you to get out of radio. I love it, thats why I have done it for 30 years."
Jeff was easily one of the nicest people I have ever met. I hope badly a position opens there that I can handle.

I felt so jazzed as I left. I loved that station, this is where I hope to work. But, he sent me to see one of his friends across town who he thinks would really like me. His name is Randy as well. He is the VP for a independantly owned alternative radio station. Randy is like Jill from CNN. Randy thinks like it his mind is powered by google. His station doesn't operate under any large corportion from New York telling him what to do. It didn't follow any rules. They LITTERALLY played what they want (unlike the Jack format who only claims it). The jocks are promotion people first, and they have open programming music meetings for anyone to come every week. This looked like radio heaven. As intimidating as Randy is, he seems like another amazing guy to work for. Radio may seem dead everywhere else in the country. But in Columbus Ohio, RADIO IS KING!!

Radio is actually run how it should be, the way it used to be. It was run like a team. There was no trash talking, and such. The people work as a team to make the station move forward. It was the greatest thing I have ever seen. It was like they were all a crime fighting team like the Justice league. It was a fun work environment and they sell the radio station themselves. Randy told me that one of the keys to their success is the forward thinking of using media and community to keep moving things forward. With people like Randy out there, I can promise anyone, RADIO WILL NEVER GO ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (So bite me nay sayers)

I left there double jazzed. This had been one of the greatest days of my journey. Sure, I didn't get a job, but I got a few more connections, and a real reminder of what it is I am fighting for. But Randy did set me up with some tickets for a free lunch at a tent infront of the PGA gold tournament. I got the free lunch and I snuck into the golf tournament. Tiger Woods was there, I don't really care much for professional golf, but what I DO care for is, professional golf fans. I love watching them get so wound up over the sport and get library quiet during the game. They all whisper to eachother in commentating on every stroke the golfers get to the hole. "his strategy will now be to get the ball as close as he can, closer than his opponent". Its pretty amusing.

After a day of fun, I drove out to Kent stay with my friend Katie's grandparents. They are perfect. They love to talk and speak about the old times. I can't wait 'til I'm an old dude telling stories. I will make the coolest old dude ever. And it is also great to see Katie. Katie is another friend I went to college with who graduated in broadcasting. We'll have fun catching up.

Scripture: Alma 40:12

Day 44 West Virginia song: I Fought the Law - Bobby Fuller Four

2009-06-05T05:19:00.000-07:00

Annie bought me a surprise the day earlier. She bought me some meds and a bandage for my foot and some insoles. It looks like my chuck taylors will last a little bit longer. And my foot feels much better, I no longer have to limp like a gansta. And after the blessing I recieved last night, I feel much better. It also helps to sleep in and take plenty of nyquil.

Most of the morning was spent mapping out the rest of my journey, doing laundry and e-mailing contacts. That is becoming a real chore which is good. That means I am getting somewhere.

On my way out I had a couple of friends to visit. First was the pretty red head I met in North Caralina, Amy (to describe Amy better, she looks suspiciously like Gina Davis....yeeeah) . We had a short encounter at her new job as a nanny. We spoke of the future, and the importance of getting to know ourselves. It was reasonably deep discussion as the little girl she watches kept giving her love notes to give to me. We ultimately came to the conclusion now is not a good time for anything more. We will keep in touch, but probably we'll just leave it at that. I won't think twice, its alright. But I hope she finds her direction home.

From one red head to the next. Right on my way out to Ohio, I had to see one more girl I knew from school whom I thought I would never see again, who was Michelle. Michelle and I have a real funny history. Her and I are the closest I have ever come to kindred spirits. But, time is past situations are rarely convienient but we are now good friends. Her and I went straight into our normal routine of absolute sponteneity. We had some food at a jamaican quizine resturaunt and we didn't have what it took to eat what was in front of us. It was beyond our capacity. But it gave us good time to sit and talk about the age old philosophical debate about Free-will vs. Theological Determanism. In the process trying to analyze the role in theological determanism of what it is exactly I am truly hunting for in this epic journey, and why it is extraordinarily difficult. Michelle seems to believe that there is a reason for everythings causation that is directly linked to the higher power. If thats true, than maybe everyone I have spoken to have believed that as well. As I thought about it, I wonder , "how does every broadcaster know that no matter how bleak the job market is for us, they KNOW that "I" will be ok?"

Why of all people would I be the skeptic? Is it because I don't like being let down? Is it because believe fate is a belief for the simple minds? I believe in an ultimate plan, but I do believe you write your story. This is the next question that will haunt me.

Meeting with Michelle is a blast as always, she is one of the shortest lived but best friendships I have ever had. She will do fine, I can't explain, I just know it.

Now I have a late start, but I had to make it to ohio to make my 9 am appointment. This means I have to do some night driving which I almost have never done on this trip, only a couple of times. But rolling through the appalation mountains, you go through alot of steep up and downgrades. I passed up a slow moving truck on the way up and I rolled down the hill a little fast. Now, those who ride in a car while I drive know that speeding is not a problem of mine. However, at the bottom of this little hill out of the darkness a highway patrol comes charging after me. I thought the man must be evil, I was only going 74 in a 65 zone going down a really steep hill.

Officer" I recorded you at 87"

Randy "87!?!?!"

Officer "I know yer speedometer red somethin' else....."

as he pulled my licence and registration, he didn't even ask me if I knew how fast or why I was going. I know a lot of highway patrol don't really care, but they at least have to pretend to care thats the deal.

He got back to me MUMBLING "this is cittation s... sblalha hdbnalhd a d dk 290 dollars by the state dod akd akd blaha bablah you have baballahaha. Pull out safely."

as he threw the ticket on my lap. He said that routine like he says it a 100 TIMES A DAY! Which I imagine he does. He didn't even ask me anything at all. Or even give me a chance to get a word in. As he went back to his car I wanted to see if I could see his hooves and if the ground would open up he would join the rest of satans minion. This ticket will cost a third of what I have left to finish this journey.

Usually, I fes up to my sins as a driver, but this time, I was lied to and cheated. I would have been better off getting mugged in New York. At least they would have only gotten 40 bucks from me. As I watched him pull back into the next speeding trap nook, I shouted out loud my second Leutenant Dan moment (he couldn't hear of course) "Is this the best you GoT!!! I AIN'T GIVING UP!!! YOU'LL SEE, I WILL NOT QUIT!!!"

Afterwards, I kept driving wondering how am I going to survive now. So I began to count my blessings.
1st off, I unlike that cop, don't have to spend the rest of my life looking like a cross between Dick Cheney and Jabba the Hut.
2nd, The people I have met along the way who have wanted so much to help me: Becca, Bud, Ashley, Anita, Pilar, Samantha, Paul, Margaret, Jill, Eric, Ken,The gentlemen from the ohio school for broadcasters, they have genuinly wanted to see me suceed. I am not sure why it seems important to them, but they really wanted to know. Almost as if for some reason of their own.
Then I thought about Matt and Annie, Matt and Robyn, the Farmers, McKenzie, Ben (texas), Ben (Boston) Grant and Todd from grand Junction, the people who didn't know anybody but were kind enough to do whatever else it was they could do. I can't say that I haven't been really lucky. Or as Michelle would tell me, they were put there for a reason.

scripture: Proverbs 10:6

Day 43 Washington D.C. song: Happy Go Lucky Me - Paul Evans

2009-06-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

Spent most of the morning sleeping off my cold. Drinking fluids, taking vitamins and Nyquil. Its been good. I seem to be getting better.

When I arose from the dead at 2pm, I kept e-mailing people to whom I may visit on the trip (broadcasting contacts) and hoped for the best. Got a hair cut from the Soul barber and then went to CNN.

I met with Jill the producer for Wolf Blitzer. She is intense. She is in broadcasting for a good reason, she makes having ADD seem like a super power. She operates superfast, she probably does more in two hours than most people do all day.
She gave me lots of sound advice, she told me that I should think about getting an agent. She gave me the idea of trying to get a job on the Hill (washington D.C.) and trying that, perhaps working for california senators Diane Feinstein and Barbara Boxer. She told me of some stories of other college grads who crawled up the latter from the bottom and are making their way to the top.
She quickly introduced me to alot of the staff. I even got to stand in the room where they broadcast the situation room, live. There wasn't much of a situation goin on, but it was a cool studio. I got to briefly meet Wolf Blitzer. His quote to me was
Jill: "Hey Wolf, this is Randy, a recent college grad and a potential."
Wolf: "Hello Randy its nice to meet you are you doing ok (?) good, it was nice to meet you."
Person Behind Wolf Blitzer : "Thats about all you're gonna get from him."

Jill really sincerely wanted to help me out, but she knows I can't go straight to the top of the market, thats ok, I don't expect to. But I loved that in her extremely busy schedule, she seemed to want to take the time to meet with me, I was honored.
"Your doing the right thing. I know you will find a job. You have the right attitude and this trip you are on gives you a lot of education. I am jealous. I just know you'll be fine. We will keep in touch, I promise. Because I really want to know what happens."

I got back to Matt and Annie's place, Matt gave me a blessing to help get rid of my cold. I might not seem like I am getting anywhere, But some how, some way, I feel pretty good about my plight.

Scripture: 2nd Corinthians 4:15

Day 42 New England song: As My guitar Lies Bleeding in my arms - Bon Jovi

2009-06-02T18:57:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up with the chills. I am definately ill. I will have to take it easy when I get back to DC.

My friend Amy called me up, we spoke for an hour as she grinded her teeth at the current situation we are in, meaning the recession. She was telling me how she wanted to become Ahmish. She is getting tired of having to apply for jobs that she is overqualified for. I understand, that is tempting to go that route. I wish I had something inspirational to say to her, but I haven't found any real job offers for me after all this work. All I could do is share some Rocky stories to her in hopes to get some inspiration. But it is hard, its hard to keep the chin up. All I could really do is listen.

My appointment I was supposed to have in Boston fell through that morning. Its ok, it was worth the effort. We spent most of the morning looking for Fenway park and getting lost in the Boston Traffic. That is one thing about Boston I would hate. The traffic sucks. And because it is an old town, it was built in a way that it is easy to get lost and you can't find your way later on.

Ben Left me at the bus station and I traveled all day. I was feeling terribly sick the whole way through, luckily I still have some nyquil. However, I got some flu like symptoms that I don't really need right now.
But I was stranded in New York City for a long long time waiting for my bus that never arrived. I was almost about to feint at one point as I waited on the busy steets of New York for 3 and half hours for my transfer bus to dc. Since it never came, I barely caught the last bus to Baltimore instead. Not feeling well, I will definately need a blessing and some drugs. Other than that, life is good. Thats all I got.

scripture:TBD

Day 41 Boston M.A. song: Doin' My Best - Gary Allan

2009-06-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

This morning Ben and his friend Katie took me on what is called the freedom trail. It goes from all throuought the historical district of Boston, which is almost entirely historical. He taught me more about America than I learned in Elementary school in one day. I passed by John Kerry's place. The state House, the graves of many like Paul Revere, Sam Adams and John Hancock. There has been something surreal about many parts of this journey, and Boston was no exception. There wasn't a lot of monument of the past, there was real history that took place right where I was standing. Moments that made the United States what it is occured right there under my feet. I saw where battles were fought, protesters and people revolted, people slain and died standing up for the good of the many. I had to respect it in my silence. Boston really may be the most historical place in The U.S.

Afterwards, I chased that lead from Ben's friend Jared. We went into WBUR for an appointment I had with Margaret. She is an Aussie who has been in the business for years and was intrigued by my adventure, and like everyone else, thinks I will be just fine.
"You seem Like you want to do more comercial work. This is is NPR but we may have some free lance work for you, just to help you get in tha door. You seeem very motivated and would be a great asset to whom you wurk for. Talk to our production manager Glenn, I think he may be able to help you."
Margaret treated me like I was one of her own. She took me into her office and helped me find some more avenues to explore that would best suit my talents. She was great. She took my information and will be keeping up on the journey as well.

Across the hall Ben and Jared invited me to hang out in one of the broadcast studios. Now, NPR (National Public Radio) sounds like it would be boring and worthless. But this station was by FAR the largest radio station I have ever been too, it looks like it would be a lot of fun. By looking at it and how updated it is, you would think that radio is going nowhere that it is only just the begining.
But we played around on the microphones and played Disc Jockey for a while as we hosted a fake show. Of course, it is always fun to do that but it was GREAT fun this time around. I really needed that. It reminded me of how it was to be on the airwaves. Even though it wasn't broadcasted, the feelings came back and I loved it.

When we left, Ben took me over to his female friend's apartment. We hung out and jammed like the old days and entertained and Ben told everyone about my fifteen minutes of American fame on the airwaves. Everyone seems very supportive and intrigued. I guess I like that a little, I often felt that people I knew secretly thought of me as an idiot for doing this trip, especially in the first couple of weeks. But I guess I was paranoid. But the funny thing is though, everyones story is just as entertaining, only thing different that I do is my little online journal. I have just as much and more to respect from others. So I tried to spend the time trying to get to know them. I don't have much interest in telling my story to people so much. I have my blog for that.

When I got to Ben's home, I had the chills. I have been fighting different symptoms of a cold and this one feels much more serious than the one I had in Tennessee. I am a bit fatigued and I have a busted left foot. When I get to D.C. I may have to ask for another blessing. I may be past the half way point, but I still got a long road ahead of me.

scripture: Romans 5:3

Day 40 Boston MA song: Living On a Prayer - Bon Jovi

2009-06-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

I'm half way there livin' on a prayer. I came into Fox almost blood shot this morning. I was tired and wired and ready to rock the casbah. There was a woman who put make-up on me against my will.

When I got to the studio the anchors quickly introduced themselves and 30 seconds later away we went. They asked me some question that I did not anticipate from the pre-invterview and I was a little caught off gaurd. They took an angle that I didn't expect. From the folks I have met on this journey who really have been supportive, they have been viewing my trip as a sign of hope. At first once the interview was over, I thought I did a terrible job. I felt like I was there to tell the world that the economy was hopeless. I really wanted to say the exact opposite, but then again, I haven't found a job. I didn't want to be one more person telling the world that there is no hope out there. But, who am I kidding?

The rest of the day I felt a little sick inside. If even in New York I couldn't find work, where am I going to? Maybe I need to wake up and realize that it is hopeless. That I am living a pipe dream. I checked my e-mail and blog, and I had NOBODY try to contact me with any leads. With the largest national news network in the world, I couldn't get any leads in finding a job. Maybe it is time.

I kept my silence about my feelings as I went to church in New York city. My perception of New York church goers was definately not skewered. The gentleman who gave the talk looked as if he sings for Color Me Badd, and his talk was on how the latest fashions relates to the gospel. Then our sunday school teacher preferred playing Hymns as sung by Gladis Knight to the class. However, she gave a lesson teaching how Satan tries in many ways to destroy us. His greatest tool agaisnt us is to take away our hope. Our hope is the most important thing we got. If he takes that away, we are rendered powerless.

I came out church feeling much better. It was just what I needed to keep on keepin on. I can't believe I came as close as I did to raising the white flag.
Anita took me to the subway where I caught my bus out of town. She was so terrific to me. She gave me an incredible experience. She did it so gleefully too. She also wants to know how the trip ends. I guess I can't dissapoint the others.

I hoped the bus to go to Boston having done NO homework for radio or tv in boston. On the way Tom from KNCI called. He told me that the interview looked great. And that it didn't come off pathetic at all but that I was funny. I hadn't really seen it at that point yet. But I told him, "Look, if you're going to have me on the morningshow tomorrow, I am not going to play Rockin' Randy. I am not going to play the pathetic college intern. I have earned better than that. I am on a mission to do something great and I won't back down and I won't take crap from anybody."
Tom's Response: "I hear ya. Don't worry, if anything we would be celebratory. You are in the business of getting attention and stirring things up and you did just that. You are getting out there and doing the right thing. And you ARE a sign of hope and inspiration to the nation. What you are doing is like a small brick in the wall to patch up this mess we're in. Keep at it, I am proud of you."

I was relieved. That made me feel a lot better to know that I have finally out grown the shadow of the goofy 19 year old Randy the entertainer.

When I got to Boston I was greeted by other friend Ben. Ben and I used to play in a band together in sacramento. He showed me around boston that night.

I stood where the Boston tea party and Boston massacre took place. I saw some of the countries most historical sites.
He then introduced me to his roomate Jared who works in radio and is going to get me a connection out here in Boston. Then he introduced me to a very bubbly, witty and pretty girl named Cassie who is going to get me a connection in radio in the chicago area. Once again I have come to a place where I feel so welcomed. I have had a great trip so far. I have made so many incredible friends, I wish they could all live in the same town with me, This is the most amazing thing I have ever done. I don't know If I ever want it to end.

scripture: DnC 4:

Day 39 New York City song: New York - Frank Sinatra

2009-05-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

This morning I recieved an e-mail from one of my broadcasting contacts out here in New York. It basically reads that there is no jobs available, there is nothing for me, they are laying people off and they are on a hiring freeze. Even here in New York, nobody is exempt. I don't know how it happens, but that is alarming. Still, I have heard that from every town in the United States, and it seems that there is no hope for a brighter future in sight. I guess if there was, people would stick it out and not lay people off. So, I guess I finally came to the conclusion that if it ever gets better, it won't be anytime soon. But I don't care. I don't have it in me to give up. Like Mr. Bowler in Washington D.C. told me, "You have to chase your dream, or else it is just a fantasy." I will not give up. I vowed to die standing up, and that is what I will do until there is nothing left.

I spoke with the main producer for the Fox show, Fox Friends about my plight. She interviewed me some more and got more photographs and video for the show. She was very nice and very polite. She even offered to give me a place to stay if I needed one and got me some food. When I told her, "You know so many station said they had no time for me and didn't even seem to care that I was just looking for a little of their time."
The producer Samantha said, "Its really only the people who are in small and medium markets who have big heads. Most people out here are not like that, they know what it is like to be in a small market."
It was really refreshing to hear that. Because I worked with big egos in Sacramento, I guess I figured they only got worse from their, but maybe not.

After I was done for the Day with Fox, the other producer Pilar and her good friend Caroline took me out on the town for a while. The took me to south seashore street. Pilar's friend Caroline let me drive her car all throughout New York city. It was AWESOME!!! I can't believe I drove through New York. And I was good, it wasn't bad at all. I could be a taxi driver here, no joke.
We parked by the dock. We spoke and hung out and talked about New York. They helped me realize that New York is not nearly as scary as I imagined. New York is a lot cooler than I ever would have thought. Pilar and Caroline were so friendly to me, just because they are glad to know and meet me.They even bought me a new fadora with a feather and taught me how to blend in as a street tough New Yorker. My hat said to them, "Yeeeh, I know Igotta fethuh, whatchoo gonna do 'boutit?" The day was perfect. Even if for some reason nothing comes out of my interview with Fox. I can't feel unsuccessful. I hung out with my great friend Anita and saw perhaps the most impressive city in the world. I met some warm and kind people who reached out to me and showed me love, just because that is who they are. Pilar even made me a dinner. This was one great day.

After wards Anita picked me up in a Cab. I got the New York Cab experience, also not as bad as advertised. And we went on a LDS singles cruise througout the city. I'll tell ya, if you ever go to New York, go on a night time yaught cruise. It was THE MOST impressive sight I had ever seen, it was like a gyroscope of lights that seem to come out at you. It was honestly breathtaking. We floated by the lit up statue of Liberty and it was beautiful. I loved it so much. I did a little bit of mingling. There was dancing and socializing. It was like a booze cruise with no booze. I had a good time dispite myself.

Afterwards a bunch of folks paid five bucks each to get a limo across town to a restuarant. I got window seat and I ate it up. I was on a New York High and the whole group of people in the limo with me whom I had just met, seemed to accept me immediately. It was awesome. I felt welcomed enough that If I moved to New York, I would have a lot of friends in no time. We all went to a resturaunt and bought milk shakes and talked, I got very comfortable, I felt completely in my element for the first time since I have been in New York. I really thought would hate New York. It may not be where I go, but I seem to have no trouble creating a path for myself out here. I am going to miss this place when I leave for Boston tomorrow night.
I will be on the show fox friends at 6 45 in the eastern time am. So that will be cool.

scripture: Ecclesiastes 2: 10

Day 38 Harlem NY song: Cry Tough - Poison

2009-05-29T19:28:00.000-07:00

This Morning Pat and Tom from KNCI in sacramento called to ask about the my appearence on Fox News this Sunday. I love Pat and Tom, they have helped me out so much. They are great friends of mine some of the best I have ever had. I know they love and respect me. But, as soon as I come on to talk to them on the air, I become Rockin' Randy again. And Rockin' Randy to them, is someone completely different than what I was as a performer. Rockin' Randy is the goofy college kid to them when I come on the air. I guess I owe to myself to to move on from that, I think I've earned it. Besides, a big part of this trip, was to detach myself from the Rockin' Randy character some, and see what Randy Peterson can do.

I got lost this morning looking for the New York Temple. I wound up in the heart of Harlem WITHOUT my mojo. However, I didn't get scared. I just walked tall and walked proud with my Randy swagger wearing my fanciest clothes I had . I actually quite enjoyed my wandering in Harlem. I said a lot of Hellos and tried to give some high fives. I wasn't as successful as I would have hoped. Maybe I should have bought a Barack Obama shirt, (this town definately votes different than texas). But, I did by some african soap and ate some new york soul food. The soul food in Tennessee was better. But not bad in New York.

I couldn't even get into the other broadcasting buildings to ask for a chancet to speak with someone in new york. I anticipated that would happen, but I had to try. At least Fox will hear me out.

After Anita got off work, she completed the tour for New York city for me. She really is the best tour guide I dude can ask for. She is street smart and really knows the town and is happy to show me around.
She took me to ground Zero of the World Trade center. I knew it had been a long time since I had heard much talk about 9/11, I didn't even question myself weather or not I felt anything towards that day anymore. But when I got to where it all happend, I choked up. I was with a tough new yorker, so I didn't show any emotion, I held strong, but I was caught off guard, that was a horrible morbid feeling that came all over me at once. I guess that day meant more to me than I thought.
We took the ferry to stanton island to go by the Statue of Liberty for free. It was awesome. A LOT smaller than it looks like on the T.V. but it was very powerful. I am very glad I didn't miss it. The doc that it is near by is really classy. There are some really fancy pants classy parts of New York that I never knew existed. I so a ton of stuff today.
Then we went to Wall Street. I saw the New York Stock Exchange where our economy rests on. It was like I saw where all the white collar evil looms from. I gleefully took a picture by it like a mindless tourist.
Then we went to china town and little Italy. Little Italy was awesome. Never again will I be so easily be satisfied by Italian food now that I have had it as good as I did today. We had the whole experience. We were even serenated by a couple of instrumentalists playing Italian music with a singer named Luigi. It was almost cartoony.

We ended the night early, Anita is going to run a 13 mile marathon tomorrow, and my feet have been in a lot of pain ever since Tenessee. My brand new fake chuck taylors are wearing thin. I am going to need a foot massage therapist when this trip is over. I think I actualy have walked 500 miles on this journey.

Well today I had fun, I got an experience. I didn't come up with any exciting or deep revelatory meaning, I didn't get any job leads or really even meet anyone new. But, how can I complain, I saw the coolest town in America, and the beautiful Statue of Liberty. What was not to like about today?

scripture: DnC 9: 8

Day 37 Manhatten NYC song: Back to Olympia - Rancid

2009-05-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

This morning I slept in, I was anticipating a lot of walking today. And that is what I did. I spent most of the day walking in central park. The park is really really nice. I spent some time hanging out with a panhandler playing rockabilly music. Its funny, the one place where panhandling seems to be VERY profitable, I didn't bring my guitar.

I spent several hours as well just walking about the streets on the not so scenic and tourist parts of town. I walked and thought. I saw a lot of folks walking and talking to themselves. I decided not to knock it 'til I tried it. So I had a few moments where I began to think out loud and articulate my thoughts. I'll tell ya, it can be addicting. My thoughts became more lucid as I said them out loud, but I didn't have the energy to keep it up for long.

I absorbed the culture of New York and I wonder how it would be if I had a job there. I know I could survive it, and I know I might even get to really like it, but I don't know that I would want to. Possibly when I was six years younger I would have been more up to it, but these days I don't know that I have the stamina to be in New York. The folks here are very focused on making their career happen. I don't know how or if they do keep up the balance between a home life and a work life. I didn't grow up wanting just life in the city, and I think that may be what seperates me from New York. I don't know that I could live here without compromise who I am, not in a bad way but a compromise of some sort.

So it looks as if Fox news will be having me as their guest this weekend. They want to put me on the morningshow. The young woman who is going to be apart of the production of this event name is Pilar. She was giving me a pre-interview for the show. She is a pretty latina who grew up in New York. She was absolutely amazed by the story. She seemed as if she couldn't get enough of my story. For her, this was living out a dream of hers. I have heard that a lot on this trip, that is really funny for me, because, the people who say that are usually living the life that I dream about. I guess you never can really win.
We spoke a deep conversation on religion, politics and the kind of things we want out of life. I never would have suspected that a true blue New Yorker would want have a penchant for the suburban status quo living of the American Dream. But her and I identified with eachother much more than I ever would have suspected, she broke my perception of a New Yorker really quick. She really was interested in becoming my friend and hanging out with me. Which I indeed welcomed. I always want to make friends in every town I go into.

After Anita got off work, she took me to time square to see a broadway play. We saw the cheapest one we could and got the most affordable seats...... So we saw Mary Poppins.......

Now, I am not a dork.... I love baseball..... rock n' roll.... cowboy flics.... shootin pool, power tools and cars...... but, I LOVED WATCHING MARY POPPINS. It was my first broadway play and I was not dissapointed. You don't even have to like theatre in any sense to appreciate what it has to offer you. Just the effects were MIND blowing. I couldn't get enough, it was intense. And this was the most affordable play. You never get bored, even if you think the story isn't any good, you can't help but love the experience. It was more magic than Ziegfried and Roy, and you didn't have to deal with the wierd costumes. Don't any of you think that I am a theatre person, but I did enjoy the broadway play.

Thats all I got, I'll say hi to y'all when I'm on T.V.

scripture: Luke 6:23

Day 36 New York City N.Y. song: No Sleep 'til Brooklyn - Beastie Boys

2009-05-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

Annie dropped me off in Baltimore waiting for my ten dollar bus ride into New York. Baltimore is a lovely town, but its the murder capital of the world, not really my kind of happening. I don't think I will be seeking much employment there. The bus ride was cool. The bus had electricity and internet access.

When the bus dropped me off into the thick of New York right next to an adult book store, I grabbed my MoJo bag and stared at it and said, "Its just you and me, Lets make this kitty Purrr." Then I gave my best Johnny Cash snarl and walked off fast and ready to catch up with the New York pace. I immediately found Time Square and rockafeller center. They were nice, but I didn't feel like being in the touristville, I was more inclined to want to hang out with New Yorkers.

I met up with my contact, my friend Anita whom I went to college with and graduated doing the same thing. She had been working as a production assisstant for Fox News for a year and a half. She gave me the grand tour of Fox news. I ran into Bill O'Reilly and saw all the studios they broadcast in. I saw the biggest news rooms I have ever seen with studios that look like Disco Techs from Star Trek. It was impressive. I also learned quickly that even in Fox news they have security people everywhere protecting the employees from the haters.

As it turns out, my story of traveling across America just may be intriguing enough to do a story on the Fox network. So the morningshow in the next couple of days just may have me on as a guest talking about my trip. At this point, my journey may be becoming a symbol of hope to many and may be good material for their show. But we are not sure that the highest powers that be are sold on the idea just yet. But, we will see, I just might say hi to you from Fox News.

Anita also showed me around New York. We went to the Brooklyn Bridge and saw the bright lights and the big city of New York. We also went to a very NON touristy restuarant for Indian food and told them it was my birthday for some free ice cream. Of course, there were five other birthdays being celebrated in that tiny little place that night. We rode the subways and Saw the New York temple. It was pretty awesome.

One thing you must know, I was scared of New York. It was one of the few things about this trip that I was really terrified about. I didn't know that I could keep up, and I didn't know that would like it. I seem to be handling it just fine. It could take a lot of getting used to, but I don't think New York is as scary as I would have believed. But it is nice to have a guide with me here, it can be a very scary place if you don't know what you are doing. But if you are with someone you trust, it can be a great experience.... such is life.

scripture: 1st Nephi 8:30

Day 35 Capital Hill song: Toss - The Brodys

2009-05-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

Put on my best thrift store jacket, brand new clip-on tie, and used a sensible portion of my finest hair grease for my big contact for the day. I was meeting with Mr. Bowler who works for the Church Office in P.R. work for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His position is highly important and he has an office that is near the nations capital that is bigger than my last apartment. He was on the third floor and has a secratery. And he has a Dr. X chair.

Mr. Bowler: "I'm sorry we don't have anything here in the office or anything I even know about. I wish I could point you in a direction. You could try working for the senate. The California senators Barbara Boxer or Diane Feinstein. You could have a chance there if you try."

Mr. Bowler: "So tell me what it is you liked about Gruene Texas?"
Randy: "Well, I loved the town.... the way the structures that made the town, didn't corrupt the land. The perfectly organized community with a good radio station. It had everything you needed and nothing you don't want. It was perfectly situated between San Antonio and Austin Texas. It had culture and class."
Mr. Bower: "But how will you find a woman in Gruene Texas?"
Randy: "Heh heh. there in lies my canumdrum. I don't know how. But I am just not ready to move to provo raising the white flag and while wearing a shirt that says "you win ladies, what is thy bidding?". But those days are drawing nearer."

He continued to tell me his trail to his job now. He did one thing that led to another. He was a college professor at one point and worked in congress and was a lobbiest and did many of the things that people dream of.

Mr. Bowler: "There is three things I would tell a man of your age. One have a dream. Two persue that dream. Or it becomes a fantasy. Three, be flexible. You may and probably won't have a straight line leading up to that dream. The reason I think people have been so empathetic to you is because you are living their dream. Everyone has wanted to travel like you are, but they usually can't or didn't have the guts. They see how hard you have worked for what you got and they want to see you succeed. Maybe because they see themselves in you.
You will find what you are looking for. You will. Its hard on everyone right now. You are out there learning about the country and you have been to more places in the last five weeks than I have been my whole life. My dream was to travel Europe, my old mission. Now all my kids are grown up you would think I could just pick up and go with my wife, but isn't that easy. I don't have time. You grow up thinking that when you get old all you have is time, but thats not true. There is always more to do."

Right before I thanked him for his time, he said wait and he e-mailed a friend of his who happens to be the producer for Wolf Blitzer one of the main voices for CNN. "I think she might find you interesting, she might be able to help you. It was sure a pleasure to meet with you, you are definately and interesting guy. I wish you the best of luck."
Right before I left I couldn't help but notice on his e-mail account he had some e-mails from some of the highest authorities in our church. I wasn't aware of his prowess in his career, but I am starting to get it.
As I came back to my station today I got my bus ticket to northern New England I got an e-mail from the producer of Wolf Blitzer. She wants to meet with me. She thinks I sound interesting. We will see what happens with that.

Speaking of those who want me to succeed and to help me out. I have now gotten a few offers from those who wish to give a charitable donation. You can't understand how flattering that is. Just the thought is worth more than the money. I thank you. However, I vowed I would do this trip without accepting money. That I would do this like a real lonesome traveling troubadour. And I have bugeted well. However, however, two women in Texas had already corrupted me. They gave me money against my will. And I let my parents help me with my car battery and one hotel room. So Because my trip will be obviosly longer than 40 days (more like 70), I just might consider it. I will let those know after I leave New England. Thank you once again.

Scripture: Alma 13:10

Day 34 Maryland song: A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles

2009-05-26T08:10:00.000-07:00

I got pulled over this morning for drunk driving. "No sir, I haven't been drinking, I was just up late driving to the nearest wal-mart. Which according to my GPS is only 8 miles away..... Whats that? ...... oh no, I don't drink at all dude. I only drink in the gospel, heh heh, uhhhhhhhh (fade out). Don't worry, I'll pull into the parkinglot and I'll be sound as a pound until its go time. Thanks for checking sir, I promise this will never happen again."

I spent the day driving and sleeping, (NOT AT THE SAME TIME) until I got to my east coast home base with Annie and Matt. Not much to tell from then, I took a long shower to get the sand out of my hair and I had noticed that I am about four shades darker. I look like I am a guest in our country. I might do well if I seek a job at telemundo. Its nice that I never really burn, just tan.

The evening I spent with Annie's family the Henderson Clan. They're family evening consited of everyone playing rock n' roll instruments such as guitar, keyboard, drums bass and vocal....Thats the way it should be......
We rocked to the sounds of The Beatles, Jan and Dean and Phantom of the Opera. It was like hanging out with the Osmonds. They are all extraordinarily talented and jolly. They just love to play and have fun together. If it were any more fun it would be a real life church video being shown on the BYU network. That is how I would like my family to be, a bunch of rockers, who end the night with a prayer and ask for forgiveness for all their hard rocking.

scripture: Ezra 3:12

Day 33 Nags Head N.C. song: Love Stinks - J. Geils Band

2009-05-25T20:31:00.000-07:00

I woke up in the parkinglot close to the beach. While I was grooming myself for church out of my trunk I was shaving, applying calone, deorderant and mopping my hair, people were looking at me funny parked in the same lot dragging their beach toys while I was in my suit.

Church was held at a little branch building. They managed to accomodate nearly 700 people in this little building for church. It was wierd. They had people stuffed in every room for sacrament. I was in the hall way that was filled to the brim with chairs. This may have been my favorite sacrament meeting on this trip and I will tell you why.
The speakers were recently returned Mission Presidents. They spoke on the seriousness of preparing for marriage and morality. The wife said, "A young man called me this weekend asking to stay with us, because he didn't want to stay in houses that the people were renting out for the week. Even with the best of intentions, real bad things can be happening." I had a hard time not laughing out loud when I saw how wide eyed everyone got. Maybe I shouldn't be laughing, but I saw so many faces of uneasyness go on everyones face. I was just glad that I was exempt.

I spent the remainder of the day with my new friend Amy. I felt the need to try and get to know her more. She was just too interesting to pass up.
We went to a house gathering with 500 of the hosts closest friends showed up to have an accoustic concert where many of the guitar playing dudes were entertaining. Of course, I realize it was the sabbath, so you want it to be low-key. But one complaint I have always had with LDS guitar players is that they never come to the show armed ready to Rock the Casbah. The night was filled with flouncing nellys on accoustic guitars singing corny love songs. I wasn't on the list so I couldn't put my money where my mouth was, but when I got the idea of how the night was we left early.

Amy and I had a great time. We established that in another time and place, there could have been some real potential for us. But unfortunately, I am on the road, and she is making a life for herself in D.C. The funny thing was about us is that, we are so similar. We are completely ready to gamble on our lives, and our future, but never again will we gamble on love. We both knew that the next person we date seriously we hope to be the one. We both had our fair share of hard knocks and frustrations and don't take lightly to the subject of dating. We know that we do the best we can and hope for the best, and smile through the pain.

We left things on terms that seem to say, "who knows, possibly maybe......could happen....I guess". We were both ok with that. We are both old enough to know better than to bank what two days of being aquainted would offer. But, I am sure glad we met, it really put a fun spin on my journey. Like Joe Strummer from the Clash once said, "the future is unwritten."

scripture: Romans 5: 3
And not oly so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience."

Day 32 Corolla NC song: Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd

2009-05-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

I went to the Wright Brothers Monument in North Carlina. I stood on the hill where aviation first took flight ever. There was a large monument of stone on the hill in celebration of the Wright brothers. I stood on the grounds where they had flown thousands of failed experiments before they finally got one to fly. People scoffed at them and told them they were crazy. They had to deal with so much failure before they could achieve such great sucess. It was inspiring, it gave me the charge I needed.

Today was vacation day. Everytime I work really hard I scold myself for not vacationing and enjoying the trip more. Everytime I enjoy the trip, I scold myself for not trying hard enough to find the job. Now I just say to myself, "work hard, Play hard."

My good friend Karen from Arizona informed me of a massive LDS Church singles week long event going on in Duck Beach North Caralina. It wasn't church sponsored, just a bunch of ambitious swingin' party Mormon kids with some extra cash. The situation was about 25, one million dollar beach houses that everyone was renting out right on the beach. Duck beach is a real classy beach. Its got good water, sand and not a huge amount of tourists. They had six volleyball nets and close to seven hundred singles from 23 to 33. The beach was scattered with Modest is Hottest bathing suits and BYU shirts without the sleeves. It was like MTV Spring Break, only being hosted by the BYU TV Network.

My friend Karen was there and a few others I knew from school, but they were all there to meet new people, I can't blame them, they put down a lot of money for that trip. I was mostly on my own. Ordinarily I would be playing the field with the best of them, but this was different. I didn't know why I felt so out of place. They are all like me, striving for wholesome values and wanting good things. And like me, they were doing everything they can to make the most out of their singledom. Sure they would mostly like to have other things but they were taking full advantage of being single as they can. It was a Mormon single shan-gra-la.
Somehow I was different though. For me taking advantage of being single was to the the opposite, be completely on my own. Having no social network in close proximitty. I would prefer spending the weekend by myself driving across the nation I guess. Not that it wasn't cool, because it was awesome. Just not my cup of tea. I sat there on the beach for hours watching the buffed single dudes franternize with the women who had the most confident walk. Finally it dawned on me, this was not a place I was going to meet someone. How serious of a conversation am I going to have when I approach a girl in a bathing suit pretending she is only really there to be tanning? Plus, I have a propensity to shut down when I am in social situations where I am not familiar with many. So.... I decided it was a waste of my time. I did not plan on romance on this trip and I certainly wasn't going to find it here oddly enough.

Just as soon as I was almost completely had gotten off the beach and was ready to go somewhere else, a pretty 24 year old red head named Amy approaches me and and says, "Didn't you go to BYUI?" I figured she knew me from INEWS or Guitars Unplugged, but she remembered me from Dancing. I decided to stay and chit chat with her for a bit just to know that I at least tried. We spoke for a long time, LONG time. We hung out at the beach for several hours together. We had a suspicious amount of things in common. Both of us knew hardly anyone around, neither of us felt we belonged and didn't care to fraternize with the multitude of singles. Neither one of us let their eyes wander to other people as we spoke to eachother. She had just gotten off a similar road trip to what I am doing by herself as well. She too is trying to find what her new life is going to be and having very little idea of what she will do. I have never met a girl who did something like that by herself. She is as much of a traveling troubadour as I am. What I call a vision quest, she calls a walkabout, but we think very similar. We honestly had some extraordinarily meaningful discussions (not the way David Lee Roth means by meaningful discussions). It was incredible, I came to the beach expecting at best case scenario having a very shallow discussion on nothing with a ditz and getting the opposite.
I know a lot of people who say, "there is NO coincidence, there is NO accidents." I usually say thats just what simple minds think. I am a very spiritual person who listens carefully, but I DO believe in coincidents and bizarre accidents and bad luck and good luck. But, even I had to admit, meeting this girl was just WIERD!

We spent the remainder of the evening together just talking. We had full opportunity to cross the boundries and do more, it was memorial day weekend and all bets are off, but, I think we respected eachother too much to cheapen the experience. Neither of us believe in one night stands or NCMO's (non-commital Make-out). Oddly enough the two people who had the least amount of expectations from the trip, met someone like-minded. Like Pink Floyd once said, "we are two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl," I was very happy our paths crossed. It really helped put things in perspective.

scripture: 1st Nephi 8: 30

Day 31 Virginia Beach V.A. song: Breakdown - Guns n' Roses

2009-05-23T05:15:00.000-07:00

Late morning, late start. I spent an unneccessarily long time in D.C. Traffic. They say that L.A. is worse, but I have driven my fair share in L.A. and I have never experienced traffic as rediculas. One thing that makes traffic a little more boring in the east coast is that there are so many darn trees. You never get a sense of where you are when you are in hours of traffic, because it all looks the same. It provides nice shade of course, but it looks the same everywhere you go.

Finally I managed get out of dodge and I went to a town called Williamsburg VA. Because I was in traffic for 3 hours, I missed the office hours of the local radio station I was going to contact, so I left them my material and hoped for the best. But the town is funny. Its got a well preserved (or faux) colonial district, where there are people dressed like its the 17 hundreds doing demonstrations and reinactments. At first I was a little un impressed, but when I turned one little seedy lookin' ally way into another section of town, it was like I went into a colonial Narnia. Except, I was greeted by a sweet college girl in a colonial outfit churning butter with a look on her face that said, "It wasn't always like this." Williamsburg was really nice, I was only dissapointed that they didn't have the witch hunt reinactment, but it was a giant tourist trap, which I am losing my thirst for.

Then I crused to Virgina Beach. I really didn't know what to expect, but since I knew nothing about it, I thought it was going to be a classy and scenic beach............... I was wrong... The beach was deligtfully seedy, it was the biggest most profitable beach town I had ever seen by far. I felt like I was in MTV...... Not really my kind of place believe it or not. But, I came there knowing there was going to be an event that was put on by the local radio stations, my job was to get in there and meet the cast.

The show was free concert with country stars Steve Azar and Keith Anderson. A couple of country pop pretty boys with ugly bands to make them look better. The place was crawling with scandalous friday night cowgirls going crazy for the tunes. If I had a cowboy hat and a tight shirt I could have made some friends real fast. But what could we possibly talk about?....But I couldn't complain, the show was free. I quickly went to the radio booth and spoke with promotions guy scott, and his words were, "I'm sawry, we got nuthin here at our station, all five of them. I've been trying to get iin as a jock as well fer two years. The only jocks left after the recession storm are the ones who have been doin' it for fifteen years. Thats iit. We only have one live show out of four stations. Most everything else is either automated or piped in from somewhere else. I too graduated from college recently and they are telling me that am going to wait and pay my dues. I am 45 grand in debt and I have done promotions for 2 years. I'm done with this. Maybe you could have my job, I don't know how long I'll be at this for."

I almost wanted to buy an icecream to make him feel better, but he is the first guy that "I" actually wished "Good luck dude, I hope you get what you deserve."

I didn't actually go to the beach, it was dark and there was too many people looking for trouble in that town. I decided to go somewhere else. When I got in my car my Mom called. She informed me that our dog Murray passed on. I didn't take it real well. I decided I didn't want to hit the campground just yet and I didn't want to be at the boardwalk. So I just drove. Carefully, cautiously, but aimlessly. I just took the country roads south. I decided to go somewhere I wasn't planning on going. To North Caralina. I just went. I drove with the window down trying to relax.

My friend Stephanie gave me a tip that Wal-Mart parkinglots are sanctioned for sleeping in your car. So I when I arrived in northcaralina at 2 am I sat in a parkinglot at wal-mart, (the only use I have for wal mart) and did nothing. I promised myself, no matter how hard the trip got, I would never get down on myself, I would never get furios, I would never get discouraged and quit and I would never breakdown. But, I didn't see the passing of Murray, and I couldn't be there for it. I know he was old, I know he was in pain and I know he is in a better place and yaw yaw yaw yaw...... But, it still hurts like hell. I allowed myself to shed some tears and vow tomorrow will be better. tomorrow will be better.

scripture:TBD

Day 30 Washinton D.C. song: Born in the U.S.A. - Bruce Springsteen

2009-05-22T07:31:00.000-07:00

Today Annie Played my tour guide across the capital mall. I seem to have been very lucky on this trip to be guided with the perfect person to be with in a lot of these places like in Texas, or Arkansas and now Maryland. Anywho, Annie certainly knows a lot about the National history of the country and got to witness me as my heart opened up to our country.

We saw all the monuments, the memorials for world war 1, 2, vietnam, korean war. I saw the capital, the white house and almost everything else you can think of. We went through some musuems, but, today was Junior High student day. There were a million little monsters let loose unchained and unwatched running about throughout everthing. It made it really difficult to enjoy some of the sacred places. But even the kids couldn't completely ruin some of the massive statues and quotes that rose high above.

I have always been somewhat cynical about our nations history, never was I the most pro-America kind of guy. But I was very moved by the Jefferson, Washingtonand Lincoln monument. As I reflected on our country that I have been able to experience, I can see much more clearly how different we all are in several locations around the nation. And everywhere I go, the people are generally pretty good people. Different customs, different attitudes, different political preferences, we are definately a lot more dynamic than I ever would have imagined. There seemed to be something inherently good about every place I have been to. Ultimately I came to the conclusion, that I am in fact proud of where I come from, and the people that make up such a diverse nation. This country is a patchwork of diversity and many different ideas and thoughts, not just the two we see on tv. I am happy with what we got, and there is something worth fighting for. Never would I try and get political on this blog, I am certainly not speaking of the situation we are in now, but, maybe I could have joined the military for the right reason, maybe I could have really done it for something much greater than anything I can take any ownership from. Its just too bad I would be disqualified from the military for having asthma, I didn't know that would hurt this much, but all I can do now is show my patriotism in other ways. I never really thought that this trip would make me a real Johnny America.

Ether 13:8

Day 29 Columbia MD, song: 500 Miles - The Proclaimers

2009-05-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

I woke up to soft purr of a cuddling kat that crawled into my bed. I secretly kind of enjoyed the company.

I have traveled now over 5000 miles, just to be the man who would walk five thousand miles to fall down at your door. Da duh ta, da duh ta. da da ta da duh tuh dah dah dah da. ........... Don't judge, I can usually outmusic you any day of the week.......... so back the heck off!!!!

After all the traveling that I have done and so much of it was not on the original agenda, I have burned out some. I spent the day doing research looking for jobs. I have heard from a couple of good friends that the job market in DC is great. So I spent most of the time researching for broadcasting jobs. I have found a couple of opportunities here and there, but not much going on. Unless I can speak Dari, or Spanish. (I can already hear my Mom rubbing the spanish one in my face). However there is one in xm radio that is all Baseball all day long that I may qualify for.

I spent a good chunk of the Day with my host Annie, we saw some of the very green and beautifully organized planned community she lives in, in the town of Columbia. We spoke of many important things about life. She is a friend who you can have the most meaningful conversations with for a long time and never get tired. Helps put into perspective.
One thing she brought to my attention as far as the question about Argo asked when he asked, "why are you doing broadcasting, is it because you want to be famous or to have something to say." Annie's theory which is the only one that makes sense to me is that I do it for the people. I don't know that I care about having something to say and I certainly don't care much about the fame. I love the variety of people I get to meet. I love the places I would go that I would never go for any other reasons. I love that you are constantly learning about the world around you and about the lives of your neighbors. There is a reason I am doing all this, I do love broadcasting for a logical reason, I just hope its enough to keep me to endure to the end.

Later in the evening Annie's husband Matt invited me to come and hometeach an individual in his ward. I played it cool, but inside I was thrilled. I loved the idea of meeting someone new, I have come to really love meeting random folks. This man we taught Brian, I can tell had a few too many hard knocks for one man. He had a condition that rendered him unable in a lot of ways, he had been slowed down, but he was blessed with a sincerity and a hunger for knowledge and guidance that was heartwarming. I was so happy to meet with him and watch Matt bring him a message about the comfort of the gospel. You can tell he has endured a lot in his life and continues to endure more than most ever do on a daily basis. He hangs on every word of hope, which seemes to grant him the power to carry on. Matt turned attention to me for a bit and told Brian about my adventure. And Brian looked right into my soul with a look I can never forget and asked, "did...did the voice tel ya ta come here?"
Oddly enough, I never looked at it that way. I never thought about what made me do this trip or even go to Maryland. It just seemed logical at that point. It seemed like something I needed to do, but I can equate what point this actually got in my head that it is something I NEED to do. But could there have been something else? Brian seemed to believe it could have been, why didn't I ever wonder that?
Matt said that visiting with Brian can be very sobering. That was an understatement. Meeting him put some perspective to my journey. He was so greatful for us to come and share a message and be a servant. This is something I have not gotten to do for many people on this trip, serve others. Just like the 1980's show the Incredible Hulk when Dr. David Banner would drift into another town and make a friend, he would help them in someway and this would help him deal with his inner demon, which in his case was the Hulk.
I got a feeling that I won't be too successful if I let opportunities to serve others pass me by. I have been served plenty, now it is my turn. If I focus too much on myself, I will miss what I love the most....others.

Mosiah 2:17

Day 28 West Virginia song: Country Roads - John Denver

2009-05-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

This morning I felt good... relaxed, I was glad I parked there in Kentucky and I was charged to go a long way today.

I drove into West Virginia and I was floored. West Virginia, has possibly the best landscape I have seen in the entire U.S. It wins the award for the Most green, which is really saying something. And it certainly isn't real touristy, there isn't any tourist traps that I could find, which in some sense is really nice. I stopped out in Charleston for a while, its the smallest town that has a little skyline I have ever seen. The entire state feels like a little time warp back into a hundred years ago. But I had an apointment to speak to someone in channel five news. He told me he had nothing for me, but he knows a station in Clarksburg WV who had an opening for a reporter, that I would probably be very qualified for.

Since Clarksburg was two hours away, I decided to check Charleston. Not much really going on there, at all. But I checked out the mall and I talked to a recruiter for the National Gaurd. I told myself I would search that out until after the trip was done. Military was sort of my full proof back up plan, that sounded really enticing at this point. But, I was feeling week, and I broke my promise to myself. I spoke to guy and it looked great. It looked like a great fit, maybe not the national guard, but another branch would work just dandy. It felt nice to be stable, until this conversation happend.
"Its not that you're not physically fit. You're not fat, crippled, or dumb. You have a good build, not too skinny, not too anything. And I believe you are a tough guy, I'll bet you probably could muscle it out and survive the basic training boot camp. Just this trip you're doing alone tells me your an ambitious man. But, the Military doesn't take risk with Asthmatics. There can be exceptions made with the right medical records, but generally speaking it doesn't ever happen. The U.S. military is unfortunately not an equal opportunity employer. They can't afford to have you collapse with a back pack on the field knowing ahead atime you have asthma. I'm sorry kid. But I wish you well on your journey, I think you'll do alright."

Oddly enough I took it well. Maybe it just hadn't hit me yet. But as of right now, I have a job to do, and now I am working without a net.

I cheked out Clarksburg WV and noticed that the entire town smelled like an ashtray, and I think some of the locals still miss the Jerry springer show. But I walked into the news station for the reporter job. They made me fill out an application that looked like a starbucks application. I told them I have a professional resume and contact reference and a demo-reel. But they wanted the application for me to put the same stuff in writing too. As it turned out, when I was finished, they were losing a reporter yes, but it didn't look as if they were replacing him. Now I was getting shut down by market 161 in the country. Not to worry, I didn't know that I was real ecstatic about calling Clarksburg my new home. As pretty as the land was, and as charming as the people were, it was a bit too far from civilation.

I just rolled on through West Virginia after I checked out WVU in Morgantown. I liked that West Virginia is its own little time warp, it definately hasn't been too updated. When I got into maryland in the evening, I realized something about all of the states I have been in. It only takes about 15 minutes after you pass a state line before you figure out that everystate has an identity. Its own unique characteristics. I always knew that of course, but way more so than I even imagined. Maryland felt like a time warp as well, but it felt much more like a Norman Rockwell painting. It seemed very colonial and very sweet, almost darling. A real change from West Virginia and Kentucky.

I rolled into Columbia Maryland late at night and I got caught up with my long time friend Annie and her husband Matt. They said they are willing to house me as long as I need. Which I would never take advantage of, but it is so great to hear that now. I haven't had too many places to stay out in the east, so this could be a good home base.
We talked alot, about jobs and about whats out there for employment and living. We had some deep discussions and one Thing Annie said to me that I don't ever want to forget is, "If you really want to live, you have to feel."

Scripture: Proverbs 3:13

Day 27 Grayson Lake KY song: Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones

2009-05-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

This morning My GPS broke down. It had become an instrument that I now able to say to myself, “How did I live without one?” So today I got lost several times looking for the nearest Big O’ Tires to get my tires rotated and oil changed, brakes checked and apparently I needed a new battery. They operate a little slower out here in the south so I spent a good chunk of my day waiting for all these services to be done. Because of the situation where the big O tires was placed, I couldn’t go anywhere, so I was forced to sit in their little chair area and watch what must have been a marathon of , The View..... So far the day was not going well.

Hours later it all got done and GPS tech support helped me fix my problem. Now it was 2 o’clock. I drove through Louisville, and I didn’t have the desire to search for a job. Not that it wasn’t a nice town. It was actually a relief to see a southern city that wasn’t a massive parody of how red neck it was. Its just that, I didn’t want to stay in a city anymore. I just felt sick and wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, I didn’t even go into the Louisville Slugger museum that I wanted to see.

It didn’t look like I was going to have a place to stay in West Virginia so I found another camp ground by a lake in east Kentucky. It was cheap, (because I don’t think I can afford the KOA’s anymore in the east) and I had a lot of space, in a great campsite.

I didn’t make it too far today, I had no cell phone signal and no internet, which I was actually not bothered in the slightest by. What I did find, is exactly what I was looking for that I didn’t know what I was looking for. A place quiet where I could think. I camped out a short hike from a lake that was almost better than what Bob Ross could paint. It was humble, but perfect, un-corrupted by man. I found a spot there where I just knelt and prayed. This is something I have been dying to do for a while in this trip, is to have my own personal space to reflect, without traffic, or other people around. I wanted to have a day like Enos where I just prayed all day. Which, I was pretty close too. I sat there for several hours pondering what I am doing. Haunted by the question Argo from Elvis Radio told me, “Why is it you want to do broadcasting? Is it because you want to be famous? Or is it because you have something to say?” What has been bothering me about that question is not that I don’t have anything to say, or that I even care about fame anymore, its just that, my question has not been “Is that really why I am doing this? Do I care that much about broadcasting anymore? Has the novelty run its course in my life? Is that whats really gonna make me happy?” Amoung many other things, those are some of the questions I pondered for what must have been several hours.

I sat there until the sun was completely gone and I had to navigate in the dark back to my camp ground. I was lost for a while, but I wasn’t worried, I found my way eventually. I am going to keep most of my findings personal, But I came out knowing that I am doing the right thing, I am on the right path, and there is still hope out there.

On a side note, I want to thank those of you who have been reading these. I cherish every comment left and every time you read the blog. Without you, I don’t know I would have made it this far. Thank you.

Scripture: James 1:5

Day 26 Louisville KT song: Sunday Morning Coming Down - Kris Kristofferson

2009-05-17T19:20:00.000-07:00

Going up north from Nashville was difficult when I got to Kentucky. Every exit there was another museum egging me on. I planned the day so that I didn't have to spend any money. Which I wasn't going to, but I had to use the restroom,.... why not at the national corvette museum? The museum was huge, and very fancy, and the price was very reasonable compared to what you might think. BUUUUTTT, I resisted in the last second and kept on moving.
I drove through past the most enticing museums yet, and I drove past many giant billboards say things like, "Jesus Saves", "Do you know where you go when YOU die?", and my favorite, "Hell is Real" placed across the highway from an adult book megastore.

Even though I had time to spare, I went straight to church an hour early. Which is good, because the website had the time an hour late, and I crossed into eastern time and I didn't know it. So I missed the sacrament meeting, but I did catch sunday school. The gospel doctrine was taught by a dude sporting a long ponytail, beard, black fadora and dark aviators. By looking at him, I suspected he could humble me at ZZ Top trivia, or Dungeons and Dragons trivia. Afterwards, I found out that I was right on both accounts. But he taught a great lesson on keeping the sabbath holy. Which is the third time I have heard that on this journey. I loved it anyway, and I am glad I didn't do anything to make me feel guilty, even if I AM traveling.

Seeing other wards across the nation has been some of my favorite things on this trip. I get to see how others conduct themselves differently and see things differently yet still live the same gospel. I have loved that.

Afterwards they had a baptism. I watched a young woman get baptized and I was moved. I love watching those happen in other places with different cultures and situations. I remembered my own on Christmas morning 12 years ago, I remember every detail, and I wondered if it will be like that for her. I reflected on times when I got to go in and baptise others as well. I was so moved by the experience, that I caught myself thinking of cowboys and baseball to keep from letting my emotions rise to the surface. It didn't work perfectly but I did ok.

Afterwards there was a young man who sat with me at the luncheon. His name was Jerry, he was a bit slow. He was awesome though, because he kept telling me stories like Forest Gump. "Yeah, I wurk at da Krow-gur. I baag stuff and collect buggy's. Ahhm allsa fixin' tuh go ahn a mishin'. I caint wait fuh thaat. You know, my parents are converts too? Yeah joined wHen I was fiiive. Muh daddy joined furst, muh momma took awhile, but now muh daddy is a little less active and muh momma has the greatest tistimony in da world."
I could have listened to Jerry all evening, he had such a good heart, I was inspired by him, I'm glad it was him who choose to introduce himself to me. He then showed me his lunch box where he pulled something out. "This is muh 1830 addition book of Moormun. I lawk it better cause they broke up the chapters bigger bayak thean. I read a chapter a naight and it keeps me awhn the good paith. It prepairs me for da mishin. Some nawts I dream dat I go tuh, paris, or london or austrailia, but I'll happily go where ever da Good Lord Sends me."

I had a great day in church, and meeting Jerry made my day worth it. I wished for him the best mission anyone ever has.

My love affair with Kentucky so far was a little attenuated when i got to the campgrounds. They are almost as bad as nashville with almost as bad a price. For ten dollars more I can do motel six. But, I have saved some cash with hospitibul people so I cannot complain. I wished I had invited Jerry to hang out with me more, because tonight is a bit lonely, but..... I can tough it out and see what tomorrow holds. I should be in West Virginia by the evening.

Mark 2: 27

Day 25 Hendersonville T.N. song: Tennessee Zip - Brian Setzer

2009-05-16T22:13:00.001-07:00

So I stayed with a couple of guys my friend from Idaho Mark knows. Mark seems to know the swing kings of ever town in America. So I am staying with the swing champions of Nashville. As it turns out, they hardly know Mark. They just offered up a place for me to stay without knowing anything about me other than I know a couple of dance tricks (and I suck at them). I am so impressed at the people who seem to be willing to give me the shirt off their back. I don't know why I have been so lucky with this, and why the swing dancers seem to be the coolest about this sort of thing.

In the morning one of the guys Richard took me to the farmers market where there was swing dancing going on. My intentions were only to eat some soul food and be entertained. Especially because there was all sorts of people watching, I was just going to be a spectator with them. But the dancers seemed so inordinately jubilant when they danced, its almost jarring. Then I thought about how I had the gumption to walk into warner bros. records yesterday looking for a job, but I couldn't muster up the courage ask a good dancer for a dance. Then I thought about Esther the old woman from Denver, and what she would have said if she saw me on the sidelines. So I rubbed my MoJo bag and grabbed me a woman. As soon as I began dancing, every dancer wanted to get to know the new guy. I guess they all knew eachother. Immediately they were trying to help me with my plight and give me connections which they did. And they invited me to social events as well. I can't believe how cool they all were. They made me feel so welcome Oddly enough, the whole time I was learning how to dance, its something I kept very under the radar of all my friends. I didn't want anyone to know. But they are the nicest people and I can't understand why. They live to dance. I really should be proud to announce that I can dance. Consider this my coming out party.

The rest of the day I went to explore Hendersonville, looking for Johnny Cash's home and museum. It turns out Johnny Cash blvd, is no longer really called Johhny Cash blvd on the signs. His home burned down and the museum called "House of Cash," the address took me to a YMCA. I guess his museum no longer exists. I spent about a half hour in the YMCA parking lot trying to think of things that would be more disrespectful to Johnny Cash than a YMCA, I found many that were comparable, but not that many more disrepectful. I started to wonder if I had a friend working for GPS playing an elaborate prank on me sending me on a goose chase. Then I wondered, "why am I so obsessed with Johnny Cash?" I have read his books, I know all his songs and I own a copy of his movie. Isn't that enough? Maybe its time that I stop being the person who when they know me they say, "every time I see or hear Johnny Cash, I think of you." Of course I take it as a compliment, but maybe its time to move on. Or maybe its the rootbeer talking. who knows.

Well, to cap off the day, one of the female dancers I met gave me a lead on a position that will be opening in production on a local tv station. If I get my stuff to the right person, I could have a decent chance at a job. We will see.

scripture: D&C 59:6

Day 24 Nashville T.N. song: Grand Ole Opry Ain't So Grand - Hank Williams 3rd

2009-05-15T22:53:00.001-07:00

Today I woke up to the sound of traffic on the freeway on my lame campsite, but with all that nyquil, I was sound as a pound during the night.

I went to the Grand Ole Opry, Oddly enough in the time that I lived in nashville (when I was around 18 years old) I never went there. But they wanted 15 dollars to go in. And I thought, HECK NO, they wouldn't even let Hank Williams or Johnny Cash play there. They didn't let the rebels of country music play there. Just the drug store cowboys. I said the samething to myself when I saw the country music hall of fame. I just didn't feel like going in, it just didn't feel right, but this time, I didn't really have an answer for that.

So in my disgust of the country music scene I went straight to the country music row where it all gets manufactured armed with a Air-check of me ramping up new country music. The contact I had to contact wasn't real good about calling me back, so I had to just go ahead and show up, but to no avail, everybody takes wierd times for lunch breaks in radio I guess. But I dropped off my material and hoped for the best. Then I went to the main drag of music row and parked nearly a mile from it because there is no parking anywhere unless you have a pass. I got lost in the streets on foot looking for music row for a long time in the sweltering heat going up a steep hill. But that didn't matter because out of nowhere it began pooring rain. For those of you from California, you should know that when it rains in the south, its like nothing you'll ever experience in california, its much more intense.
Finally I found GAC (great american country) to try a job with them. They wouldn't let me in the building, I had to talk to a box. They referred me to their website for employment. The problem with that is, almost nobody in several months has ever responded to an e-mail. So I went to sony records, same story, then several other record companies, same story. I decided that receptionists in this town are given a psyche profile test that makes sure they have the ability to behave like lifeless robots. I was getting nowhere in my hours of searching. I didn't know what else to do.
Finally I found a sports radio station, I walked in and immediately was speaking with one of the programmers for the station. He told me the same thing I have known for years, "Radio used to be great until the telecommunications act in '94. Now, one company can own several radio stations in one market. So there has been a slow transition of consolidation and things are being run by business men in New York who don't know a *$*%& thing about radio. That and with this recession, car dealerships are not buying the adversing which was most of everyradio stations revenue. The only way to get in is to start in a small market and work your way up. But most of the small markets are working automation these days. Us radio people are a dying breed, those who are left are getting fed up and the world is just different now. Your probably better off doing something else."
I responded tough, but inside I was feeling emotions of defeat, "Sir, with all due respect, I have more than paid my dues, and nobody is going to scare me out of what it is I want to do. I will not settle for anything less than what I deserve. Thank you for your time."
He came back with, "Now hold on a second, give me that resume and air-check. I want to listen to it, even if it is for a music format. I like you, I shouldn't make you want to give up. Here's my card, call me monday, I'll listen your material and make sure a few others do too. And I want you to e-mail me when you are finished with your journey and tell me what you find. I really didn't mean to scare you off. Keep tryin' you will make it." I have heard that multiple times too.

I walked out to more pooring rain and a mile now from my car in a direction I wasn't sure of. Sure enough like in a movie, a car splashes water all over me, (not that it mattered at that point) then I had a leutenant Dan moment as I shouted at the buildings in Music Row, "Is the best you got! HUH? HUH? BECAUSE I GOT A LOT MORE!!!" Now that I had my little goofy outburst I sat on a bench under a tree while the rain lightened up. I began to take deep breaths and I closed my eyes and said a prayer. When I was done I sat a while longer and pondered until the rain was fully gone. When the sun began to poke its way through, I got up and noticed on the bench an ad for one more station I didn't go to. It was called "Lightning 100" I quikly called 411 and put the address on my GPS and away I went. I went to their building that looked like an old train station that was hit by a missile. they were definately independent, so I had a chance. The receptionist told me,"You know, they are actually thinking they might need a fill in guy. I will pass this on and we'll let you know. Don't give up, you'll find something."

Lightning 100 may not be the answer, who knows? But I felt better after that experience, and since i spent so little that day, I decided to treat myself to dinner at the French Quaters Cafe. This is a place where the tourist don't generally go, and it only plays blues, soul, and Jazz. I was the only white guy there. Its a place I used to hang out when I was 18, probably because its one of the few places and underage guy could go for music and cause I used to play the occasional blues jam. I couldn't believe I used to hang out at a place like that, with so much mojo, now I can see why I am so cool. I had a chill evening with some live soul, a burger and a squirt, and am going to sleep happy. Tomorrow is another day.

scripture: Romans 2:7 "To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality , eternal life."

Day 23 Nashville T.N. song: City Boy - Keb Mo

2009-05-15T07:28:00.000-07:00

This morning I was supposed to speak to a radio persona at Flinn broadcasting. He must have forgotten about the appointment because he left early. No worries, I left him my material and I will hope for the best. I can't wait in this area in any longer, I must keep moving.

I drove through the lush state of Tennessee. I stoped for gas in a tiny little truckstop town and I noticed a billboard saying "Loretta Lynn's Dude ranch... 5 miles ahead. I thought to myself, what the heck, why not. I drove out to see it and I am glad I did. I discovered what may be the most beautiful peace of land in existence. Easily the most precious land on this trip. The rolling hills couldn't have been painted better, the trees would make Bob Ross weep, and the little lakes and creeks were mouth watering. I never really knew what I imagined heaven to look like, but now I think it looks like that. Now, I am not the kind of guy who goes all spiritual when I see an impressive sight of nature, I usually just think, "Cool" and move on. But this place almost made me emotional, and there was nobody in sight, it was like I had it all to myself. I half expected to turn around and see Johnny Cash sitting on a stump dressed in white singing, and welcoming me to the kingdom.
I checked the camping rates out there and they were cheap. I heavily considered it, but I decided I am way late on this trip as it is, I must keep going forward, but I will return someday.

I rolled into Nashville KOA and I felt like Micheal Douglas in Falling Down, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 38 DOLLARS FOR A SINGLE CAMPGROUND!!!" The woman said, "because we lawk yoo, were gunna cut choo a deal. We have a storage area you can camp on foh 27 dollars, but cha don't get access to much, would cha lawk thaat?" I didn't have much choice at this point, my place to stay in this town didn't pan out. But the camp site sucked out loud. It was on basically a gravel pile only 5o yards from the freeway over pass. Lesson learned, Never go to the Nashville KOA ever again. Tomorrow I will find another way.

I went to the Main drag of nashville. Because I spent so much money on KOA, I didn't have money for anything else on todays budget. So I found the club where Cross Canadian Ragweed was playing. I love them, and I have never seen them. But I didn't have 15 bucks. So I sat out side and listened to them. Then I found another place across town where GWAR was playing. This was a bit more affordable. But I have a theory about GWAR. You should never watch GWAR a second time. (I saw them ten years ago, and I loved it). So I hit broadway in Nashville. I had a similar feeling that I had in Memphis, I don't know how I loved it so much in the past. Instead of Juke Joints, it was honky tonks. Accept, the Honky Tonks don't play as good music as the Juke Joints. I had no interest in hanging out at the bars. Which is funny because when I lived there at 18 years old, thats all I wanted to do. Nashville seemed like It was one seedy bar after the next with pop country cover bands and women who have an ironic way of dealing with low self-esteem.

So I walked on the river front. The riverfront is awesome. This is the place where I met the girl who gave me my first kiss. So I once had some good luck on this spot. But, then I remembered, it was the girl who wound up with Jim Carrey.
So I met some musicians out there trying to write in their solitude. They were trying to absorb the lonliness and channel it into corny pop country. I would have subtley made fun of them, but then I thought of my own plight and decided I wasn't in a position to make fun.

Anywho, I made some connections that I am going to explore tomorrow..... Thats All I got

Scripture: Romans 9: 22 What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much long suffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction.

Day 22 Tupelo M.S. song: Pink Houses - John Melencamp

2009-05-13T21:28:00.000-07:00

You're gonna want to read this one.

I spent most of the day sleeping. I thought today would be completely uneventful. I have been trying to recover from my cold and trying to sleep it to death. Which seemed to be working. Since I was feeling fine, I decided to go to the Elvis museum in Tupelo M.S. where he was born. The museum was pretty cool, a lot of fun. But I got to go in his house, which was only two rooms, and tiny. He lived in a very humble little home in Tupelo, he barey had anything, not even a bathroom. But he seemed to make due. One thing always tripps me out about Elvis is that the people loved him litterally to death. I think he went a bit crazy in the end for a lot of reasons but one is that everyone was so obsessed with every nook and cranny of his life. Yet people don't give up. He makes more dead than I think he did when he was alive. However, there is one thing I have to love about everything is that he is the Ultimate example of the American Dream. He went litterally from rags to riches. And he earned it, and definately paid the price for sucess.

I was also intrigued by the little old woman Gwen who was the lady who waits you're arrival at his house. She was sweet and told me anything about Elvis. She works there simply to be close to the history, she loves it. She loves her job, and thats all there is too it, even though it probably doesn't pay very good, she gets to sit in Elvis's home all day long.

I walked around the back area where there was a park Elvis played at, I hung out there and played my guitar and sang some Elvis my self. I was absorbing the mojo in the air.

I then went back to Memphis, because I have a lead I need to follow there in the morining at a radio station. Also Because, I wanted to watch the Dempseys play. The Dempseys are a rockabilly trio. You hear it from me the musical snob, THEY ARE THE MOST TALENTED BAND I HAVE EVER SEEN NEXT TO VAN HALEN. They litterally have mastered their craft. They are far superior musicians than anybody I have ever seen, I had to take my hat off in their presence. They have an intensity that I can't even fathom, they are the greatest examples of dudes doing what they love for a living, I have ever imagined.

I spoke with them in between sets at the blues city resturaunt. I told them the last time I saw them was when Jim Carrey walked in. (if you don't know the Jim Carrey story, ask me sometime) As soon as I jogged their memory, I had their attention. They wondered about that night. They were amazed to hear me tell the story. The bassist said, "Oh I remember that, you mustuf felt like hail." I suddenly had a wedding singer moment.

They played on through the night and they played willy Nelson's "On the Road Again" for me and the guitarist threw me his pick. I put it in my MoJo bag. Then they decided to bring me up on stage and tell everyone the story."Everybody, this Randy Peterson from SACRAMENTO CALIFORNIA, he's the best looking guy in this place tonight, but does he have some bad luck with the women, he has one great story to tell y'all. And we can vouch this stories authenticity because, we were there."
Mind you.... this was a huge crowd. They set up the story for me and had me tell it and the crowd ATE IT UP. I had so much dang practice telling that story that I had gotten real good at it.
"Better luck this time in Memphis, dang! Its not that he's better lookin' than yoo, its jus that hees got more money. Don't be offended by it. But choo a nice guy with a nice smile, y'oull find someone. Hey everybody, he's SINGLE!." the crowd thundered with laughter, claps and whistles from both women and men. And a multitude of older single women came from nowhere and arose from their tables to get a better shot at me.

One gift I have always had has been the ability to laugh at my own bad luck. Which I guess is a good thing.

scripture 2nd corinthians 7:4 Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my glorying of you:I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation.

Day 21 Clarksdale M.S. song: Crossroads - Robert Johnson

2009-05-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

I came out of the camp feeling terrible. Now I am worried about this cold. Its gettin' bad. I am going to need more than some nyquil.

This morning I had a sit down chat with Argo the morningshow host of the Elvis Radio station on XM radio. He said to me, "your air check is great. You have an adequate resume.....Your ready. I'll tell ya, five years ago, what you got would have given you a job. But now.... I don't know how anyone could break into radio. I started 25 years ago doing over night shifts. Now that position doesn't exist anymore anywhere. Season vets are losing their jobs becuase of the economy, internet radio, i pods etc... I don't know if and when it will go back to normal. radio will always be around and they will always need jocks, but the supply and demand will change. Radio is being forced to evolve. As you know it helps to be versatile, which you are, but thats hard knowing you have done it all and there still isn't anything out there. You may have a better shot doing you're own podcast. But you're doing the right thing, you're exploring the country and doing your homework. You come prepared and knowing what to say. I think you are smart and will find something. If I could do what you're doing, I would. But i got a wife and kid. Parties over. One thing you need to ask yourself when you continue your searh is...Why am I doing this? Is it because I want to be a celebrity? or is it because I have something to say?"

I left feeling good that I may be a day late, but it doesn't seem that I am a dollar short. Argo was the first guy to listen to my air check while I was present. He liked it alot. At least I am coming to battle armed.

I moved on the Clarksdale Mississipi on Highway 61, the blues highway. I found where 61 meets 54. This is the crossroads where Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil in exchange for the ability to play guitar. I found out later that this never happend, it was only a rumour he started so people would pack in the clubs he was playing, which it worked like a charm. But I was in for the first time the deep south. I was in the delta. I was possibly the only white guy in this town. I loved it. I was finally in a place that hadn't been turned into a giant white tourist trap that still had history. This is where blues was born. All that stood left of the old town was the remains of a defeated culture that seemed to still be searching for something. You would think I was still in the fifties in this town. Blues was alive and well in the Juke Joints. For those of you who don't know what a juke joint is, its the Black equivelent to a Honky Tonk. Accept, these Juke Joints, were not tourist friendly, they were locals friendly.

They had a little Delta Blues museum. It was the greatest museum I had ever seen. I was moved by it. One thing about the blues you must know is, its the sound of hope. Its the sound that marked the will of the Black communities of the delta, the forgotten people. It was never about whining, it was about saying, I'll be back tomorrow. I will still be standing. Perhaps its why its still alive and kicking. Blues never goes away. Pop comes and goes, but the blues stand for something so much more sacred, a legend, and a legend never dies.

I ate at a soul food place with some real southern sass. The owner Marvin spoke to me, "Don't choo kill 'dem flies... if you do... a thousand of his friends will come for the funeral. You from Sacrameno huh? You long way from home. We take good cair of you heer. you musician? Well you look like one, or an actor. You look like you from hollywood. Eat chyour eggsandwich befoh it goes baad. And good luck on yoh quest, I'm sure you'll find somthin'.

I spoke to the folks at WROX, the first station to ever play just blues. The Programmer Lawrence spoke to me, "Well Keed, I ain't got nothin' foh ya. But choo goud, you goud. Ryte now we do alota voicetrackin' and automashin. We are skeleton staffed, but if I cuud, I would hier you. Don't give up, don't give up, that what seperates the good from the bad. Its foh da love of da music. Radio will alllways be aroun', so don't give up too easy, its been tough on all of us."

I thanked him for his time and moved on. I really liked the town, its unfortunate that its been so dead. I found a clothing store i loved. Its where all the Black folk come to look good on a night on the town. Its the best clothing store, I have ever seen. Its fancy blues clothes. Its called "Super Soul Shop." I guess Elvis Costello and Brian Setzer sometimes shop there. It was owned by two friendly syrian folks who have been selling clothes there for 30 years. They were funny.

Later on that day I decided to find the closest bishop which was close to memphis again to ask for a blessing to get rid of my cold. I think its really helped out. Better luck tomorrow, Tupelo Mississippi.

scripture: TBD

Day 20 Memphis T.N. song: Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley

2009-05-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up to some bad cold symptoms. I have been fighting this ever since I got to Little Rock. Now it began to worry me. Perhaps its the Swine Flu. If thats what it is, this will make an interesting twist on the story. Now its time for drugs and for me to swallow some pride and take some airborne.

My agenda today was to hit the ground runnin' like Van Halen. I had a lead on three radio stations that Eric Hasseltine gave me that I was going to hit up since clear Channel was no longer an option. Unfortunately one thing about the south, the people are very hospitibul, but when it comes to business, they act just as busy as anyone else. Nobody had time to talk to me today. Maybe another time. EVERY DARN STATION.

Since Memphis from front to back seem to have nothing for me, I thought maybe this is just not the place for me. Since I was here, I thought that I would hit up Graceland. Also I was going to camp behind Graceland, with a bunch of rich white Elvis fans with Winnobegos. Unfortunately no one told Coloner Tom Parker and Elvis that we are in a recession. Graceland cost 30 dollars for the cheapest tour. Not in my budget. So I went to Sun Record Studio where Rock n' Roll was born, the price of the tour was affordable, and this is where my day got interesting.

I stood in the very room where Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Roy Orbison, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, B.B. King, Howlin' Wolf, Billy Lee Riley all recorded music. It was like the delivery room for rock n' roll where the infant came out. It had so much mojo that I had to take off my hat. Such amazing history took place that I was nearly speechless. However, my reverence was attenuated upon the observing the Tour guide.

The tour guide was a petite spunky girl from the deep south with sass and wit. Very cute. She knew her facts and was a very gifted tour guide. Which is funny, because I half way went in their to seek a job, but I don't know that I can match her standards. Now, I am old enough to know better than love at first sight, But I know that I got that feeling inside that people get when they confuse that feeling as I watched this chic. She seemed to know more about rock history than I do. And she could play guitar. I felt like I had met my match. I was intimidated, she went from being the girl next door to Cindy Crawford in my head in seconds. I spoke to her for a while and she is a dancer and a dreamer. I know there is no point to think about women on this trip, that is certainly why I am out here, but what the heck. I had nothing left on my agenda for the day, and I have nothing to lose. As scared as I was, I always felt my one skill with girls was never my wit, charm or body language, but my courage to attack, so I just went straight for it and asked. She gave me that look like I had half way made her day, and said, "I really can't, my boyfriend would not be pleased, but thank you soo much for asking."
I left with my shoulders high and grinning. I didn't care in the slightest that I got shot down. I was happy that I got the words out of my mouth. It was like a little moral victory for me to kill the bunny. I felt completely reenergized and ready to get back to work. I know it doesn't make sense, but I really just needed to know that I had the guts to do it. I can still take it. I remembered the quote from Rocky, "Its not about how hard you hit, its about how hard you can get hit, and keep movin' forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. Thats how winning is done." Besides, I didn't have much in my budget for a mini-date anyway.

I found a little shop in the dark outskirts of Memphis where its crawling with dudes who talk to themselves very volatile like. On occasion I would want to break it up, but I didn't know where to stand. The shop was seedy and it was run but a mean old black man. He asked me about what I am looking for and where I am from. When I told him where I am from I asked him about him. He said, "My name is JOHNSON." He followed that by an awkward pause and an ominous look. I asked him if he sold MoJo. He said, "Yeah we got Mojo. What you need it foh?" I replied immediately with, "I am a drifter looking for a home." He grinnned and sold me a little bag full of roots and herbs and gave me the proper instruction. He then sold me some voodoo oils called "love potion number nine, Cross Roads and Find me a Job." "This should help ya fynd what yo lookin' foh. I got a feelin' 'bout you, you gonna do real goud. Don't settle for anything that don't make ya happey." I thanked Johnson and went on my way. I really don't have much faith in voodoo, but carrying some MoJo in my left pocket won't hurt any, I actually think it gave me some street cred, and seperated me from the rich white tourists.

I thought a lot about Elvis and Johnny Cash as I walked the streets of Memphis. They were no overnight sensation at all. Much like Buddy Holly, they had a lot of hard nights of hopelessness. But they never let up or gave up hope. They were talented yes, but not everyone was able to see that. I really think at the end of the day, what seperated Elvis and Johnny Cash from everyone else is heart. They had more heart than anybody, they believed in themselves, because if they didn't, no one else would. Their passion led them to greatness. I felt their ambition and spirit as I absorbed the atmosphere in Memphis.

I capped the night back at the campground right behind Graceland and the Heartbreak hotel in a little pic nic area that constantly plays Elvis music. Its awesome. I then recieved an e-mail from the program director in from the Classic Rock station in Little Rock. He was very impressed with my demo reel. He was sorry to inform me, he had nothing to offer me. But he wanted to let me know if he does get any opening, he promises to let me know. All in all, I thougt it was a great day. I look forward to facing my fear and working one more day in Memphis. Tomorrow is another day.

scripture 1st Corinthians 9:10

Day 19 Memphis T.N. song: Home of the Blues - Johnny Cash

2009-05-10T17:27:00.001-07:00

This has thus far been the hardest part of the trip. The place I was most excited to see of anywhere in the country, has been the place where I have most felt like I just need to pack up and move on.

Perhaps its the fact that I hadn't seen the sun since I entered east texas that is getting to me, but I get bad vibes from the Memphis area oddly enough. Maybe it is the memories of when met Jim Carrey here six years ago that haunt me.

Today I really wanted to be with my mother for Mother's Day. I really feel like I need to be a better son to her. She of course wants me to call her everyday. That is a bit much for me, but, she gave me life and lots of support, I only hope I can make this one up to her.

Tonight I was going to watch a band play in downtown Memphis called the Dempsey's. The greatest rockabilly band I have ever seen. This is my one chance to see them. However, its sunday, I know that if I walked in that cafe where they are playing, I would then truley be alone. Its hard enough as it is right now. I don't need that, the memories I have of the band will have to be enough for me.

I went to the singles branch of church a little out of town. I was recognized by a couple of fellow byu students as "the Johnny Cash guy". I told my situation to the priesthood brethren asking for a place to stay, (I didn't want to where out my welcome at the last place, besides, it may not have been the best place for a Mormon boy). Not only was I given a great place to stay with a couple of really nice and hospitibul guys, but I also got a connection to the morning show host of the number one radio station in Memphis.

I got words with the radio host Mr. Tew, and he said, "This is as bad as I have ever seen it. The radio business is shriveling up. I have just watched some very talented and experienced men lose their jobs. This is the worst time. Plus this market doesn't pay well. (which is actually what the voice of the Memphis Grizzlies told me as well). You might want to think of another profession." Hearing that after all I have worked for, for so many years is hard, but I knew what was ahead of me when I took this trip. I bought the land, I will accept the Indians. I told him, "I know, I have heard that for several months, and in person for nearly three weeks almost daily. But if I'm going out, I am going out swinging." He replied with, "I like you're attitude, I think you may actually find your way, I got a hunch." We left it at that.

Today I felt something I have never felt before on this trip. Fear. I felt real humility and heartache. This is the first time thus far I have felt the need to dig down and really motivate myself to keep on going strong. But this is what I wanted, to be tested. Unfortunately for me, I have never really been that tested to find a job. I have gotten every job I have ever had with absolute ease. Managing Jackie Greene, CBS Radio, Guitar Instructor, News Director, these are incredible jobs that I didn't deserve but I found my way into for some reason. I am deciding to give Memphis one more day, to see Sun Studio and maybe Graceland and really push my way into the door in radio and T.V.
Like I told the host of the Country morning show, and like Gene Groupa said to Benny Goodman at the carnegie hall, "If I'm going out, I'm going out swinging."

scripture: 1st Nephi 2: 4

Day 18 Memphis T.N. song: Thunderstorms and Neon Signs - Wayne Hancock

2009-05-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

Today Matt took me to see an the old mill that was used in "Gone with the Wind". Its amazing, it almost looks as if Disney created it, only its real, its there right next to a lagoon with bridges made of concrete trees. If your ever in Little Rock, you gotta visit that.

I left Little Rock reluctantly. I had a pretty stable place to sleep, not that others hadn't offered that, but Matt and Robyn where the only people I knew the home owners ahead of time, and who knows when i will see them again.

But, little Rock is really bad for my allergies. I used to be a little impatient with peoples allergies in Sacramento. Now I understand what it is like. All the green and blossoming that goes on in the Natural State is enough to kill someone. Part of me was relieved to leave.

Cruzin' into Memphis was like comin' home..... Sort of. I immediately hit up Beale street where all the magic happens and it was PACKED. I have never seen Memphis so alive as I did this saturday. With great bands filling up every club and a ton of bands right outside the clubs. The street was bumpin. There was the most roughed up soulful blues sextet outside the Rum-Boogie cafe that I just dug. I really don't know how to describe their southern backwater authenticity, but they had some serious JuJu on their side. I danced the blues with an older woman named Yolanda, who while we were dancing loved to shout out arbitrarily things like, " Say YEAAAHHH" (which I responded with "yeeeeh) and she also would say, "Dance it White boy" and "You betta be cairful or I'ma gonna take you home wit me, heh HAAAAGGHHH". I rather enjoyed myself.

I capped off the night by watching a band called "Appetite for Destruction" an authentic Guns n' Roses tribute act. They sounded perfect. They nailed every note and every look and motion that is Guns n' Roses...... Accept they didn't feel as dangerous as Gn'R. Almost like they don't come from the same sewer, and maybe they have day jobs. Never the less, they rocked.

As good as a time it was out there, I noticed something funny. I didn't like it as much as I did when I was 19 years old. What seemed like my personal disney land was now much more in resemblance of the great and spacious building that has no foundation. It wasn't as much like coming home as I once hoped it would be.

Oddly enough I stayed with a well known Radio celebrity around these parts. The voice of the memphis grizzlies. He is a really nice guy and pretty hospitibul.

Scripture: 1st Nephi 8:30

Day 17 Little Rock A.R. song: We Want the Airwaves - The Ramones

2009-05-08T21:10:00.000-07:00

Matt and his wife Robyn took me to the famous Peabody Hotel in downtown Little Rock. They have these ducks that they bring into their large fountain. Everymorning at 11:00 a.m. they ceremoniusly bring them out to the pond. Led by a man who is dressed like he is Prince William's PR guy. These ducks follow him along the red carpet into the nice fountain. I was surrounded by a multitude of senior citezens in tourist clothes where I heard them murmur, "Isn' that somthin'?" and "My wife finally trained me to be like that." I had to hold my laughter in, because for some reason, I wanted to burst into loud laughter.

Immediately afterwards, we joined a massive gathering of locals to greet a welcome home to hometown celebrity Kris Allen from American Idol, one of the 3 finalist so far in American Idol. The locals went crazy for him, chanting his name as he came out on stage and sang us a couple of tunes. He is probably the biggest celebrity from Arkansas since Bill Clinton.

Covering the Event was every local news station. I went and spoke to the reporter for channel 7. She gave me about 25 seconds of her time and told me, "It's all about bein' at the raught place at the raught time." As I was walking away timidly, Robyn encouraged me to talk to one more station. I was too shy, but she reminded me of why I came out and told me it will be o.k. So I approached the Cute, blonde reporter Ashley from channel 11 news. She gave me as much time as I wanted. She spoke with me and told me, "You're doin' the raught thang. It's just soooo haard to break in this businuss. But its really a great job, and once you're ENN, YOU'RE ENN. I'll watch your reel and I'll e-mail you what I think. Good luck on your trip, you're livin' the dream."

I have found it funny how I have heard much of the same lines over and over again. But I know she meant them. If it wouldn't have cheapened me, I would have asked her if I could buy her dinner, but I smiled and shook her hand. And told her thanks for her kindness. Aside from Ben's cousin, thats the only person in T.V. that would talk to me.

We then tagged a couple more radio stations. One where the Program Director would have met with me, but he had a seven hour on air shift ever since Clear Channel went on a firing spree. He didn't really have much time for me. But, the classic rock station once again seemed intrigued. The receptionist whispered to me that the night time jock position may be opening real soon. They seemed real excited to give me some feed back and maybe more. It's been real fun seeing how everyone I meet seems to be behind me all the way with my journey.

We capped the night off with a double A baseball game. The Little Rock Travelers vs. The Tulsa Drillers. The ball park was awesome it has a perfect view of the city in the background, the weather was absolutely perfect, in fact, it was girlfriend weather. Except I was with Matt, which was just fine with me. But there is just something about a baseball game at night that is like nothing else, I wish I was a real writer so I could encapsulate my true feelings of the sights and smells and exitement of a professional baseball game. At the end of the game we walked out and they cranked on the speakers Bob Dylan singing, "Like a Rollingstone". With the night air being amazing I felt like a million bucks.

Little Rock is a great town to raise a family in, it seems to hold a certain value that other big cities just seemed to lose sight in. I don't know what it is like for a single guy, but it seems very family oriented.

Scripture: 1 Timothy 3:4-5

Day 16 Maumelle AR song: Here I Go Again- White Snake

2009-05-07T18:17:00.000-07:00

This morning Ben and I left the town of Cut and Shoot where on the table Ben's wonderful Aunt left us both a fifty. This kind of thing makes me feel like I am giving someone some hope, because they are certainly giving it to me. We drove out back to Ben's home in nameless piece of land beyond Gladewater T.X. It was really great to have a travel companion for a while, someone to help bounce some thoughts with and to show me some things I didn't know were even there. Not to mention being chauferred around. Now because of Ben's help, I can extend my trip at least 3 and a half days. I now owe him a chauferring around my neck of the woods, when ever I find a home, and I really hope he takes me up on that favour. Then i could be his seedy travel companion.

But now I am back on my own again.

I spent a lot of time in Texas and as much as I didn't want to leave, I have the whole rest of the country to see. As soon as I rode in to Arkansas the atmosphere changed. Arkansas doesn't have the excessive testosterone that Texas has. I went from seeing an endless supply of Texas flags, gun shops, Harely Davidson Distributers and Hooters Restaurants, to a lot Large Baptist Churches and billboards advertising being saved, and reminding me Jesus Lives. Certainly, I know I am in the Bible belt country, but it seems to be much more prevelent in Arkansas than Texas just by starring off the freeway. I hear that Alabama is the buckle of the Bible belt, so I am really excited to see it.

This is the absolute GREENEST place I have been to on the trip, its even greener than Northern California. Arkansas is known as the "Natural State", which is perfect because I am staying with one of the healthiest people I have ever known. I am staying my Old friend Matt who worked at CBS with me. He was the engineer, but now he works for his church doing missionary work and planning large events and such. He always took a sort of moral mentor figure with me in radio. He is a great guy to know, its too bad he moved all the way to Arkansas, but now I have a great friend in Arkansas. Tomorrow we got a lot of fun stuff planned which is good, I get to see the delightful town of Little Rock.

Scripture: 2nd Nephi 2:8

Day 15 Corpus Christi T.X. song:Beautiful Girls - Van Halen

2009-05-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

David Lee Roth said in the song Beautiful Girls, "I got my drink in my hand and my toes in the sand, all I need is a beautiful girl."..... Unfortunately I was with Ben, my seedy travel companion. Still though, Corpus Christi was massive compared to what I imagined. I really didn't know what to expect, but it is nice. I didn't really ever think of the beach while in Texas, but a large portion of Texas in on the Gulf of Mexico. The beach is really nice. In fact, Corpus Christi is one of the nicest beach towns I have ever seen, maybe the best, if not close.

I'll tell ya, if you ever had your doubts about Jimmy Buffet's music, don't judge until you have been to Corpus Christi, it sounds a lot better out there on the Gulf of Mexico. However I was dissapointed that even in Corpus Christi, Kenny Chesney still Sucks out loud..... go figure.

One Thing I realize is that I am not much of a big beach guy. I honestly feel time goes backwards out in the beach. The beach was nice to look at. I was excited to go but i had to buy some shorts that I got at Wal-Mart. To save money I bought a pair of shorts from the kids Isle made for really fat kids. When we got to the beach, it was windy and not that fun. We looked about town and decided, this wasn't a place I was too interested in shopping my resume around. As nice as the town was, I am not that interested in living by the gulf. When I was on the beach, I realize I get nothing done, and I don't feel that I really need the beach to unwind. This trip is an adventure and not a vacation, out in Corpus Christi, it feels like a vacation. So we moved on pretty quick.

Tonight we are staying north of Houston. We had no desire to really see the main drag of Houston, even though the Houston Rockets are pretty hot right now. We are staying with Ben's aunt's home. She runs a real Texas family home. Its out in the woods a bit and has a bit of a rustic cowboy flavour, its a town called Cut and Shoot. Its a real treat for me, I don't get much of this where I am from.Ben's Aunt was especially kind. She Told me, "Good for you for doing this trip, your livin' the dream. When you get older an' start havin' kids, you caint do this sorta thang. Good luck to ya." Said with a sweet texas Accent. I find it funny when a person with a family tells me that kind of thing, I always thought that a home and a family was living the dream.

Tomorrow I move on to Arkansas. I have been in Texas over a week, its time to move on.

Scripture: Alma 9-28

Day 14 San Antonio T.X. song: Is Anybody Going to San Antone - Charlie Pride

2009-05-05T19:29:00.001-07:00

This morning I played the Legendary Gruene Hall in Gruene Texas (pronounced Green). This is the oldest country dance hall in texas and one of the oldest in America, built in 1909. Many great artists have recorded live albums there. The town of Gruene is by far my favorite little town thus far. A bit of a touristy place but not real well known.

I stopped by the Outlaw country station in the next town over called New Braunfel. I spoke with the program director who was excited to hear my story. She like everyone, didn't have time to listen right then, but I could tell she was intrigued. She gave me the look like I was a sign of hope. She told me, "Don't, Don't Don't give up. You are coming at this in the worst time ever, but I think you will make it through. You got some bawlls to do what y'er doin'. I will definately get in contact with you later. Thank you for comin' by."
I have found that I have put a lot of smiles on the faces of radio broadcasters by telling them what I am doing. I'm glad to know that the people on the inside are rootin' for me.

In San Antonio we saw the Alamo. A monument to a battle lost by the United States of America to the Mexican's. It's really actually pretty depressing, but now I get what they mean by "remember the Alamo." But this is what made it an interesting place to visit during Cinco De Mayo. San Antonio is the only town that had a healthy amount of Tex Mex that I had been lookin' for. The texas pride was a little less in your face, and it felt a little less touristy.

We saw the river walk, which is really great, except I was with a dude. It's not a real cool place for a couple of dudes. The weather was also at 90 percent humidity on a 96 degree day. Since we didn't want to be in the main drags of San Antone while the party hit, we heard the party scene in San Antone for holiday's had been very much effected by the economy.

We stopped at a resturaunt to eat, it was at a seafood place called "Dicks". The dude at the bar kept making inappropriate jokes about us. He then proceeded to have us sit at a table and gave us some gay jokes. Ben and I decided to leave angrily, we were their only customers and they had the audacity to deliberately insult us when all we wanted to do is eat. A cook came out after us asking if their was anything we could do, and I replied, "Its too late for that."

Later we found out that "Dicks" is a chain and the idea is that you are supposed to get insulted by the employees, and you as the customer are supposed to give it right back.

So my seedy travel companion Ben and I went to see the San Antonio Temple and then to the LDS Institute to see what they might be doing. Unfortunately we came up with nothing, but I realize how good it is for me to have Ben for this stretch of Texas, he can keep me out of trouble.

Ben graduated a semester before I did. He had a job in D.C. that fell from under his feet right before it was go time. He has also been trapped hitting the pavement from this recession. He is really hoping and praying for the best as well, but eventually it seems to ware on his how much of an uphill mountain this could be. Him and I are both heavily considering the Military as an avenue of employment for the next stretch of our lives. Not something we wanted to do originally, but everyday it seems to look better.

Ben and I had a couple of deep discussions about our plight and our generation, and decided that one of the biggest problems of our generation is people's refusal to grow-up and become an adult. I felt bad, I wonder how much time did I spend in La La land trying to figure out what it is I wanted, or how much time I am spending now.

Jarrod's Aunt in San Antonio put us up for the night. She is an absolute delight and gave us beds. I cherish every bed I get on this trip. But I seem to get more beds than I don't. Sheila (Jarrod's aunt) insisted that she gave me 40 dollars for gas on the road. When I tried not to let her she told me, "No, I admire what you're doing, I was young too once, I want you to make it, and to really find what it is you're looking for."

I have heard that sentence a lot on this trip. I really hope not to dissapoint anyone.

Tomorrow we have another place to stay in Corpus Christie. Wish me Luck.

scripture: Samuel 3:19 "And Samuel grew and the Lord was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground."

Day 13 Austin T.X. song: Straight to Hell - Drivin' and Cryin'

2009-05-04T22:08:00.000-07:00

I slept last night in an area, that has no name, but is near Gladewater TX. My old roomate Ben from BYUI wanted to come along with me on the trip and drive me to south east Texas. For those of you who have read Jack Keroac's novel "On The Road", Ben is like my Dean Moriary, my seedy travel companion.

He also gave me my first road connection to a woman in TV broadcasting. I spoke with this woman who had formally been in broadcasting and is no longer in the business, but she was able to give me sound advice that I have never recieved before in the world of broadcasting. For one, I may chew on the idea of selling my latin roots by going by the name Randy Casteneda (Mother's maiden name). Many other great hints as well. I am starting to get a little more key information to tell me how to sell and how to search out where I am going.

Ben and I got a late start to Austin. We checked out the University of Texas, which is massive. It makes my alma mater seem more like a highschool. And when I walked the halls, I didn't feel too much older than everybody.

We also got to check out what is know to be the highest Bat population in all of the United States fly over a park for hours.

We spent most of the day getting lost even with our GPS but I think we got about as much out of town as we wanted. The town is very big, and real pretty. Its easy to walk the streets. However, people have been telling me for years I would love Austin. They say its very liberal and has a great music scene. As I walked the main drag where the music scene is, I thought about how people told me, "Randy, Austin is soooo you!", I began to wonder what it is I seem to stand for. Was it all the tatoo parlours and bars that made people say that? I really don't know. This made me write down that I need to evaluate some things about me later.

We checked out 6th street where all the music happens. It must have been white blues trio night, because we saw about six bands and five of them where white blues trios. I realize it only a monday night, but if I was to move to a place based entirely on the music scene, Austin I do not think would be the place. However this is place is very cool and the weather was beautiful, I may love it for other reasons, if I could give it a chance, but I didn't get that innate sense when I come into a city that I feel like i could someday call it home.

Anywho, tomorrow is another day. Lets see what San Antonio has in store.

Scripture: proverbs 20:27 "The Spirit of man is the candle of the Lord, searching all the inward parts of the belly."

Day 12 Allan T.X. song: Just What I Needed - The Cars

2009-05-03T20:48:00.000-07:00

Spent the morning visiting with Jarrod's parents. They made me the best breakfast I have ever had. Sausage, pancakes, eggs, cheese, fruit everything. We sat and talked about life, religion and work. It was just what I needed. They have a real comforting wisdom of Mormon and Texan mixed in one that serves up a heartwarming conversation. They let you feel comfortable real fast.

Church in Allen was about as good as a church experience as I have ever had. Fast and Testimony meetings happen every first Sunday. They are usually notorious for a bunch of single adults getting unnecessarily emotional and being incohesive in their thought process. This week however, I managed to hear something much more inspiring than that, I heard real passion in their words that told me, they didn't only have hope, but they also had wisdom. The branch presidents words spoke right to me, he like all the rest of us, has had his hard knocks and has lived to tell about his triumphant return. Its really pretty funny, between sunday school and priesthood, their wasn't anything new that I heard or even taught better, but it was that it sounded different, so I was able to hear it. Its funny how I can come to a different place, with different people, but all the blues are the same and all of the Gospel is still the same. I had those goosebump feelings that one gets when he hears things for the first time in the Gospel, almost as if my heart was being woken up. I have been a fully active member for a long long time, there is no reason for me to have these experiences that one gets after a long time gone. The only thing I can reason with is that my plight has made me think of other things that I had neglected for a long time.

Of course, I am not trying to convert or inandate anybody with my religion on this blog, its not what this is for. But this is however what is honestly stirring in my life and I am very convinced that for this trip to be a successful one, I have to make sure I live my beliefs and keep the Sundays as Holy as I can. They are a day for me to relax, realign and recharge. If I don't do it this way, I will be alone on this trip, and it will get lonely real fast.

I left Allen T.X. in the evening and said goodbye to Jarrod's family. They offered for me to come back and stay anytime I want. Jarrod's father Jim even offered me a place to get a job at his employment and GMAC until I find what I am really looking for. They wanted me to know that theirs is a place I can call home. They brought me in almost as if I was their son in no time. They sent me with food and wished me the best of luck..... You know..... I may not find whatever it was I am looking for..... but, it seems as though I might be finding things that are much better.

scripture: Genesis 2:2-3 And on the seventh dayGod ended his work which he had made' and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

And God blessed the seveth day, and sanctified it; because that in it he had rested from all his work whcih God created and made.

Day 11 Dallas T.X. song :So Hard to Find My Way - Jackie Greene

2009-05-02T21:07:00.000-07:00

I left Fort Worth reluctantly, I had a good time with McKenzie and her family and I really liked Fort Worth. To tell you the truth, I had no real interest in Dallas.

Dallas was the only definative appointment I have and will have this whole trip. One of my dear friends Jarrod got married and he wanted me to D.J. the wedding reception. I used to be a professional DJ, I didn't really like it that much, only on the occasion when I had a friend with me. But I used to do weddings for my friends all the time for free. It seemed like a good idea until every friend I knew got married and called me up. I vowed some where along the way I would never do that again, but, it was Jarrod, who knows if I ever get to see him again. Besides, if I don't land a job soon enough, I may be trying to go back to being a DJ for some cash.

But Jarrod and Sarah looked so happy, I have known those two for a while and I know they will make it. Jarrod is very loyal to her and unselfish. He listens to her, I guess thats really the key, and what it takes to be a man. I only hope to be close to as good as a husband as I suspect he will be.

I spent most of the day with Jarrod's family and friends. I really got along well with them, I had a great time. They made me feel at home right away.

At some point I was trapped in cars where serious discussions of politics surrounded me. Being a Californian in Texas, you can only imagine how that went for me. Thats one thing I will have to get used to if I live in Texas. I chose the high road and didn't say a word, I just listened, besides, what do I know about politics, much less the politcians.

Also you can imagined many discussions of love and relationships were also discussed. Once again, a discussion I can be uncomfortable with, for completely different reasons. Everyone has the all encompassing answer. And they are all different from one another. Everyone is an expert, based entirely on their few sucess or failure stories. I guess that also somewhere in the back of mind as well. When I see these small towns that I consider as a place to live, am I going to be able to find someone there? What am I doing all this for? Is it for me, or is it for my future family? Where is that balance of what is important?

I could ask advice and recieve advice from just about anyone, but nothing they say can matter. not even words of gentle encouragement. Its all white noise now. I guess only I could figure out my way. The only thing I want more than to be a professional broadcaster is a professional husband. Its this thought that makes this journey often times difficult.

But I have found the endless highways, to be a great place for me to think and ask questions to the one person to whom I can fully trust. The Road has become my Fortress of Solitude or sacred grove. I guess there was some truth to the miscellaneous thought that, this trip is not about the finish line, its about the journey. I would hate to make a corny story of self discovery, but I guess that is what a Vision Quest is, an ultimate finding on personal enlightenment. Because at some point, you have to find your way.

Henry B. Eyring once said, "the Gospel of Jesus Christ is set up so that we embrace change." ....roughly

scripture: Alma 12:9

Day 10 Fort Worth song: God Bless Texas - Little Texas

2009-05-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

Staying with my good friend McKenzie from school. She has been the first familiar face I have seen this entire journey. It was a nice relief. Her and I have a lot of the same friends, graduated at the same time, and belong to the same religion. Other than that, we are two completely different individuals. However, as Roger Clyne once wrote, "red boy, white boy, black boy, we all get the same blues." What we also have in common is the struggle to find good employment in a place where we want it. Its often times hard to get even just an interview with a place that we are way over qualified for. We also don't have to stay with our parents for the time being. But, what choice do we have these days.

McKenzie took me around Fort Worth. And I'll tell you some things about Texas if you have never been. Country music really sounds better when your in Texas. But not the sissy Rascal Flatts and Keith Urban country, but the outlaw texas country. Its like hearing birds chirping in the forest. Its the music's natural habitat. The sound just adds to the landscape.
The other thing about texas, is that they are very pro-texas. I have seen more Texas flags out here than I have seen people. I guess I should have suspected, but way more so than I ever could of imagined. The Texas flag is the Coca-Cola of Texas, on a much bigger scale. I am not sure if that is a tourist thing to make you like the place more. Or if there local pride is so strong, that it just comes off comical. But it is in every nook and cranny in Texas. They even have a pledge of allegence that they make their public schools say along with the U.S. pledge of allegiance. If I didn't know any better, I would think there is some barracks being formed some where that have dudes ready to arm themselves for when Texas sucedes from the Union. Civil War 2. This would not be the place to say anything bad about George W.

Most of the schools out here in Fort Worth have been cancelled due to fear of the new Swine Flu. I guess its the rage out here. Being on the road I haven't heard much about whats going on, but I guess I should be worried, but I don't have the patience to let a pandemic spoil my trip, not at this point.

McKenzie took me to a place called the Stock Yard, which is old west cowboy sort of drag that is filled with shops that sell Texas paraphelia and bars that only serve Jack Daniels. They have also some bulls that walk the streets twice a day and some other tourist trap stuff. I absolutely loved it. I bought into it, its fun. Just meandering about the town I fell in love with it almost instantly. This is the first place, I can imagine calling home some day. The town of Fort Worth is big, but not too big and its clean. Its the cleanest and safest and has the most character of any town I had ever been to.

We capped off the night by going to a place called Billy Bob's - the Worlds Largest Honky Tonk. There we watched a band play some serious wanking country on a real professional level, and we saw a bull ride/ rodeo. We had a pretty fun time together. Billy Bob's is a real trip. Its a bar technically, but they have children there. They have video games, pool tables slot machines, dance floor, and a bar b que eating area. They serve lots of alcohol, but it comes with a real family vibe....so to speak. The bulk of the crowd was scantilly clad country women with their western wear boy friends being proud to show off their girl showing off. Its really amusing to watch.

Just before the we walked out and said to ourselves, "we can now say we have been to the worlds largest Honky Tonk," we ran into a girl from a radio station I had just applied to that morning. She works from the promotions division and is hoping to get on air soon. She only had her job about a month, (which gives me hope that someone is hiring) and I told her what I was doing and she was slightly intrigued and was willing to listen to my air-check (demo). Then we talked shop about the music format they play which is Texas country. As it turns out, we listen to all of the same music and hate the same music. This was really good. She told me she would make sure her boss listens to the demo I sent him and that she would have some of the jocks give it a listen. She then told me, "your doing the right thing, sittin' on your parents couch gets you no where. You gotta jus meet people and network and git someone to lyke yoo. Just keep at it, I am happy to be doing something I love, I am doing much better than my friends who graduated from school right now. I just got out there and met the right people until I found my way. Good luck, I hope you find what y'er lookin' for." I formally introduced myself at this point and she did as well, she told me her name is "Becca Hardick" but she emphansized both syllables slowly in her last name . "Thats my honest to goodness name, not a radio name, Now, you will ne'er forgit it." She was right about that. I was glad to meet Ms..... Becca.

I had another good day, I had a lot of fun, and I made a decent connection. Not too shabby for one day in town. And it was really nice to have someone to share the experience with this time. We will see what Dallas holds for me.

Scripture: Enos 1:12

Day 9 Lubbock T.X. song: Cryin', Waitin', Hopin' - Buddy Holly

2009-05-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

I rolled into Lubbock texas around 11 a.m. The home of Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks, Pat Green, Waylon Jennings and of course Buddy Holly.

First order of business was to get me a hair cut, I wanted to look even sharper than before. The barber was straight out of the fifties, they way I like it. She gave me the run down on the town and told me what it was about. There are no sports out there but there is plenty of music in town. It has three colleges, one baptist, one Christian and Texas Tech. I picked up good vibes from Lubbock and I suspected this is going to be a good day.

I walked into the legendary radio station KDAV, the first station to ever play Buddy Holly and one of the first to ever play Rock n' Roll. And Waylon Jennings himself used to work there as a DJ. This place has some serious MoJo. The program director Bud Lite had a sit down interview with me. He did a lot of the talking. Most of it. An obscene amount of it. He told me everything I didn't need to know about anything. For well over an hour. But he was a nice old man who was talking to me at a radio station, so I sat and listened. I then asked him if he could review my material, and he said, "Hail NO." "I don't listen ta anathin' on demand, and nobody will, thas good advice. I just don't have time to listen. But if ya leeve it wit me, I'll listen to it when I got time" He then proceeded to tell about the time he met Frank Zappa. This took another 30 minutes. The story was about how he was ultimately in the right place at the right time. He told me I was about ten times sharper than most people comin' into broadcasting trying to get a job. He said, "you'll do jus fiiine. I already know you're good, I have worked long enough in da business to know." I wasn't sure he even knew what my voice sounded like yet. But he told me not to give up, what I am doing is inspirational and that I have what radio needs to save it, passion. He then intro duced me to Joe the day time jock. Bud was a man of few words compared to Joe. Joe proceeded to talk non-stop for nearly two hours while sat there with a furowed brow nodding arbitrarily. He spouted off almost every town in america that has a radio station, he may has well read me the phone book. I caught myself pleading with God, that if he got me out of this one soon, I will be a much better listener to everyone. But I couldn't let any sign that they weren't important enough for me show, they were going to listen to my material and call me later. So, I had to take it.

Before I couldn't barely get anybody to give me five minutes of their time. Once again I began to wonder why I am doing all of this. Why am I trying so hard to do broadcasting. What is in it for my future family.

Before I left Lubbock, I went into the Buddy Holly Museum. It was real nice and well done. I read all about the things of Buddy Holly that I didn't know which before I didn't think was very much. One thing in particular that I didn't read about, is that Buddy was no overnight sensation. Like all of the other fabled stories of the early rockers, Buddy paid his dues. He worked hard and slaved for his craft. He didn't make it on his raw talent alone. He worked hard and got his name out there unil he was in the right place at the right time.

Scripture: Amos 5:13 "Therefore the prudent shall keep silence in that time; for it is an evil time."

Day 8 Amarillo T.X. song: Hard Core Troubadour - Steve Earl

2009-04-30T20:22:00.001-07:00

Leaving Denver wasn't too hard for me. I had a good time, a really good time, but I didn't get the sense that Denver is where my new home will be.

This was the first time I changed my actual route this trip, and I don't think it will be the last. I went south instead of going through Kansas to go to Kansas city. I headed for Amarillo.

This seven hour drive was pretty boring. Driving into Texas requires more commitment than I have given to most of my ex's. Even still, with the right tunes and the arms out the window with the wind through my hair, there is something so liberating when you don't have a time a constraint. When you could do anything and go anywhere, you really feel freedom manifest in all your senses. Or at least I do.

Amarillo, is like a big city ghost town. There is nothing going on there. It seemed nice, but I didn't get the good ole' wholesome family little town feel I was shootin' for.

I had afree limo service pick me up from the KOA. The limo was old with Horns and it took me to the famous "Big Texan" restaurant. This is the place where they will give you a free 72 ounce steak if you can eat it in an hour. Supposedly its possible, but if you are one of the people who can do it, you have bigger problems to worry about than your dinner bill.

Later I was still hungry so I went into town to for a good burger and I went into a place with live music. The place said it was a restaurant, but it had the symptoms of a bar. I guess the fact that they didn't card me to get a burger and a coke qualified it as a restaurant. The place was filled with old number 7, gator skin boots and stetson hats and a classic country band. This was a certified rootin' tootin texas Honky Tonk if I had ever imagined one. And one thing I forgot about the southwest, they like their burgers as spicey as you can handle with a giant slab of jalepeno meat. My pallet was not ready to handle the rich spices of the Texas burger.

I acted cool, and dropped off my demo reels to the TV stations and didn't wait around for a reply. I don't get the sense that Amarillo is calling my name either.

Scripture: Romans 15:24 "Whensoever I take my journey into Spain, I will come to you: for I trust to ee you in my journey, and to be brought on my way thither ward by you, if first I be somewhat filled with your company."

Day 7 Denver C.O. song:Bad Luck - Social Distortion

2009-04-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

Denver is really the first big town I have been to on this trip. I really underestimated the size of Denver. It’s a lot bigger than where I come from in Sacramento.

First order of business, I had a couple of tv stations I needed to hit up for the day. Channel 9 had a position open as did 31. When I got to channel 9 the receptionist told me who to contact but she thinks it was filled the day before. Not to worry, I am all dressed up in my finest duds so I went across to town to the other station where I didn’t get to talk to a receptionist, just a little box outside. To some snobby dude who couldn’t even see how snappy my duds were. He told me to send the resume in the e-mail or by e-mail. Needless to say I was a bit discouraged, but that’s ok. The biggest part of my day was yet to come. I had a person who works for clear channel in Denver who committed to meeting with me and sharing some advice and network. When I got to Clear Channel, they had without question the most massive broadcast building I had ever seen. This is my first time at a clear channel and now I can visually see why they are the corporate monster of radio. I felt really lucky to have an interview in that building, even if it wasn’t for a job. Most of Clear Channel is on a hiring freeze. When I got there the receptionist told me that today was a bad day. I told him that it was my only day in town and we had an appointment. But the receptionist informed me that there was a huge lay-off spree that just happened that morning, and the person I was going to see was one of the men cut off.

I really couldn’t believe my luck this day. I left frustrated and began having those questions of what will I do if I never catch a break. But I am only on day 7, and I am not a quitter. This was just bad luck.

I tried some panhandling while I was in Downtown this time. I wasn’t as successful as I would have hoped. I am pretty sure I looked much more well off than the other panhandlers and I wasn’t homeless, (at least not by choice). Still, I made enough money to put me back on budget. It looks like my hope for staying out on the road for longer than 40 days may be diminishing, but we will see.

To cap off the night, I went to the swing dance that my host told me about, at a place called the Mercury café. They were honoring the death of the legendary King of Swing dance, Frankie Manning from the movie Hellzapoppin. I was dancing with some real good ole swing dancers. And I was actually holding my own and having fun, if you could believe that. My favorite dancer was an old woman in her late 70’s named Esther, who was just as spry as I am. She was dancing Lindy Hop since Lindy Hop was Hip Hop. She taught me some great tricks. She also told me, “Loosen up. Let go of your inhibitions. You dance like your afraid someone will see you having fun. Fear, stands in the way of you having success in dancing. You will be able to do wonders once you just let go of what ever it is that holds you back.” I thought she was another angel sent to me to tell me exactly what I needed to hear. I couldn’t believe I just had that encounter. I looked at her like she was a female Socrates and thanked her for the experience.

The day was rough, and discouraging, but had a great finish, today was a good day.

scripture:TBD

Day 6 Denver C.O. song: Responsibility -MxPx

2009-04-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

This morning my car was covered in Snow. I don’t even remember Rexburg Idaho having that much snow this time of year in my years there.

I went to check out my childhood dream place called Mile High Comics. It was the largest comic book store in the World at one point. The guy I spoke to at the store told me that he was there when the store flooded and they had to move to somewhere smaller. And they were no longer the largest comic book store in the world. I then found myself asking if there is an employment at the Mile High Comics chain. He responded well and said there is something. I was excited, I always thought that would be cool when I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to find out more until I thought to myself that all encompassing question. How will I respond to the next girl who asks me what I do for living. I have already had to girl friends fathers give me their disapproval on broadcasting. Besides, its too early to quit now. In fact, I will never quit.

Ohio school for broadcasting gave me some of their time to show me their facility and what it can do for me. I was pretty tempted to see about enrolling and seeing what more skills I can polish to be more competitive. They had a far better radio program than BYUI but didn’t seem to have much more as far as T.V. went. The admisistration of education spoke with me and checked out my resume and demo reel. They were really impressed, they decided that it would be in my best interest to keep moving forward. They think I really have something and I am going about this all the right way. They told me I have guts and I need to keep on keeping on. Their suggestion to me was to try a smaller market, I may not have another choice. But what they said that I really liked is that radio and television is a muscle. You got to get that experience and exercise it, and it will get better. The head of the Education department at the school said, that if my t.v. reel is half as good as my radio reel, than I really got something and I should have no problem. This of course gave me some real confidence. Finally I had someone listen to it and check out my resume and give me feedback. I left the building charged up and ready march in to the next t.v. station.

Later on I needed to pan-handle some to make up for my going over budget. I went to the open market on 16th avenue in Denver. There was some pan handlers and a lot of beggers. I gave some of the thugly looking beggers some of my money so they wouldn’t hurt me. I really should have came suited up to pan handle because when I got their I was a little scared and out of my element. My guts didn’t grant me my special powers. Plus its freezing in Denver right now, which is no good for guitar playing. But I decided to go to see the Rockies play that night which was just about five blocks from the main drag. But I went back to my car to change from my nicely pressed jeans and my long sleeved collared shirt, to my poncho and beanie, and I moved my leg like I had a wooden foot to give me that gansta walk. People went from asking me for money to asking me for ciggerettes. For now, that’s the way I prefer it.

The game was great, I bought four dollar seats and the ushers bumped me to the 18 dollar seats just to be nice. I loved it, Coors field is awesome. There is something about a baseball field that is like nothing else. It was so awesome, I had actually wish I got that girl Leah’s number from last night so I could enjoy it with someone. But then again, I would have only paid attention to the game.

After the game my friend Mark from Rexburg set me up to stay with a gentlemen who lives in a nice apartment downtown. His name is Wayne and he is a well known swing dancer in the area and he is putting me up for a couple of nights. I got to help him move some boxes for his next place in exchange for the roof over my head. He said he would hook me up with more places to stay around the country from other swing dancers. That is funny, I am glad I learned how to swing dance finally. All those countless hours of learning how to dance, wasn’t for nothing after all.

1st Nephi 13:37 "And blessed are they who shall seek to bring forth my Zion at that day, fore they shall have the gift and the power of the Holy Ghost; and if they endure unto the end they shall be lifted up at the last day and shall be saved in the everlasting kingdom of the Lamb; and whoso shal publish peace, yea tidings of great joy, how beautiful upon the mountainss shall they be."

Day 5 Denver C.O. song:Rocky Mountain High - John Denver

2009-04-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

I pleasantly woke up inside a roof while Todd’s cool roommate Grant made everyone a hot breakfast. Partly because his woman was coming, but I think he was just that kind of guy. I ate up everything so there was no leftover no matter how filled I was, you never know when you will eat that good again on the road. Minutes after breakfast, Grant and his woman broke it off. It was very short and to the point. I had to admire his ability to take it like a man. Grant is about my age, and I guess when you have had enough bad luck you learn how to deal with those things. But he is a successful dude, he will do fine.

Church was great, like always if you are paying attention, what is said in church is supposed to apply directly to you. Even in an unfamiliar ward, this happened to me, as we spoke of the keeping the Sabbath day holy. For sacrament meeting everyone bore their testimony with their favorite hymn, we sang the hymn. It was a little weird, but unique and I enjoyed it, and surprisingly singing that many hymns didn’t put me to sleep.
At Sunday school the Bishop spoke of how we will need to start planting seeds and have gardens to grow our crops in five years because he promises it will get that bad in this economy. That was something I didn’t want to hear as I travel like a vagabond.

After church Grant made me lunch and sent me on my way. He and Todd both offered to come back and stay with them anytime I come back to Grand Junction. Even though I never did get to meet with the broadcaster, I can’t say this adventure was unsuccessful. I really did make some good connections and I found a place that I felt welcome.

Driving to Denver was a bit scary. Going over some high altitude passes while a heavy storm was brewing was a bit nerve wracking. But I made it, however the snow never quit. I am going to have to find another place to stay for Monday night.

While strolling about town, I met a pretty and sweet girl named Leah. She is a student at the Christian college. She was pretty open about sharing her feelings on Christ. As a religious person it was a nice breathe of air to just hear that from someone. I would have gotten her number, but I decided not to go there, I didn’t know where that would take me, I wish her well.

scripture: James 1:3

"Knowing this, that the tryihng of your faith worketh patience."

Day 4 Grand Junction C.O. song: Slow Ride- Foghat

2009-04-27T00:43:00.001-07:00

This morning I woke up to the sound of an irritated father scolding his children for goofing around on the campground. The one disadvantage to sleeping at a KOA.

My phone has been busted for two days and I was due for another free phone anyway. The gentleman (name is Todd) who sold me the phone at the local Sprint store spotted my BYUI shirt. After a small conversation one thing led to another and he told me he knew someone in broadcasting I could call to speak with, that and he offered for me to play Dodge Ball with his ward that evening.

Staying in Grand Junction wasn’t apart of my plans, but the town was surprisingly big and I thought, “why not.” Besides, ever since I met Daniel and Chris, I have been inspired to slow down my pace across the U.S. and enjoy myself. So I called up Todd’s (dude from sprint) friend the broadcaster and left him a message. While I waited his phone call I saw the History of Western Colorado Museum, and I saw some really cool stuff and I learned all about Colorado. Then I went to Monument National Park. That was the most impressive national park yet. Its unbelievable, another sensory over load of dramatic 2000ft cliffs driving slowly over windy roads with high winds next to some of the largest rock formations in the U.S.

I spent the day in Grand Junction waiting for this call, but I got nothing. That is ok, it was worth a shot. I still dropped off some resumes at the local radio stations.

So I took up Todd’s offer for Dodge Ball. I met a lot of people in his ward and had some fun. I sustained minimal injuries and nobody on the court lost their Christianity from anger. My experience with competitive ward sports says that even well behaved men while playing ward sports can fall into what Thomas Hobbes would call, “Man’s State of Nature.”

After the game Todd took me to his place and we watched some of the Jazz and Laker game and the latest Office episode. Him and his roommate Grant offered for me to stay on their couch for the evening. They were awesome. I couldn’t express how grateful I was of them letting a complete stranger into their home and letting me sleep their fully knowing I would have done ok on a campground. I was thankful for having the Holy Ghost with me on this trip. And its good that I have been shaving regularly. (no mustache)

Scripture: Doctrine and Covenants 62:7

“I, the Lord, am willing, if any among you desire to ride upon horses, or upon mules, or in chariots, he shall receive this blessing , if he receive it rom the hand of the Lord, with a thankful heart.”

Day 3 Grand Junction C.O. song: Living on the Edge - White Lion

2009-04-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

Started bright and early at the KOA. I will now swear by these places. They are a third of the price of a really cheap motel, and you get a better bathroom and treatment. Plus, you can make friends with the other campers. Its a really family friendly place and they are always located out of harms way. KOA is the way to go. (my check is in the mail.)

Daniel and Chris, the good ole boys from Alabama, took me to Price Utah to go to the nearest wal-mart, (the first one I have seen in days) to get some supplies and to see the Dinosaur museum. I should have suspected there were dinosaur findings in Utah but I hadn't ever thought about. But we saw the actual skeleton of a Wooly Mammoth and a Velociraptor and a saber tooth tiger. Ms any artifacts that were ancient and such. I have never seen any dinosaur bones before, so for me that was pretty rad. I was really sad to part ways so quickly with Daniel and Chris. Those two were really tight brothers and they had such a good hold on life. I was inspired by them. They make the complications in life seem so uncomplicated, I almost I wished I could join them for the rest of their journey across the country. They were going much slower than me, taking time to stop and enjoy view. We wished each other luck and that was it.

After we parted, I went to visit for the first time, Arches National Park. I'll tell ya for any of you who have not been there, plan to spend at LEAST half a day out there, because whether you want to or not, you will spend half a day out there. Its got so many amazing landscapes that my eyes seriously began to hurt from the sensory overload. I didn't see the Arch that is on the Utah licence plate, I got too winded at the hike. Arches is not asthmatic friendly. But I did see the Devil's Garden, and the Devil's Peak and the Devil's furnace. They were the coolest places. I didn't know Satan had so many hubs in Utah. When I was pulling out I was searching for the Devil's Hammock and the Devil's foot massage therapist. To tell you the truth, I think I once dated the Devil's foot massage therapist.

I drove just a little further into colorado at Grand Junction. I expected this town to be another truck stop, but it wasn't. Grand Junction is a big town with Best Buys and Pet Smarts. My first reaction was annoyed that I was back in urban hell already, but another part says that its nice to have a little less isolation. Saturday is a big day for me, got lots to do, and I think I have an interview with a station in denver on monday. Cross your fingers for me.

scripture of the day: Enos 1:4 And my soul hungered;and I kneeled down before my Maker, prayer and supplication for mine won soul' and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

Day 2 Green River Utah, song:Lost Highway - Hank Williams Sr.

2009-04-24T06:28:00.000-07:00

The Ely Nevada Ghost train was pretty rad. It was an honest little musuem that didn't try and trap the uneducated tourist. It was an old railroad yard run by volunteers who just did tours for the love of the sport. This was how they enjoy spending their retirement. That meant they gave their all.Other than that, Ely is not a honeymoon spot, even if you have a terrific sense of humor.

I couldn't find the radio station out there, I didn't try very hard either, I don't think that Ely is a good start for me.

I pulled out and drove 2 hours east to the "Great Basin" national park. I was told it is the least attended to national park in the U.S. It must be because of its isolated spot, because the park is incredible. I got a guided tour in the Lehman caves where I was bunched with a bunch of folks wearing gift shop t-shirts tucked into their little kacky shorts, grocery store gardening hats, wrap around sunglasses and fanny packs. I only wish I brought some of those kinds of cloths. but the tour was great, I got some photos of the most evolved and unique gothic cave in the world. It was like going on the Matterhorn in Disney land without the coaster, and much cooler. At any moment I half expected to turn around and see the Batmoble all gassed up and ready to ride. Half way through, the tour guide told us, "This is where they found bones in the 1860's. We found this cave was an ancient Indian Burial ground for thousands of years." I couldn't believe she told us that. I spent the rest of the tour praying that my road trip wouldn't be hexed as I apologized to all the Indians I had disgraced.

Driving through southern Utah on 70 should be a vacation destination on its own. Its really the most incredible sight you have ever driven through. The dramatic rocks and mountains are breathtaking. I am becoming a nature hippy already and I am only on the second day of the trip.

I pulled into the KOA at greenriver and properly pitched my tent this time. While pickin' my guitar, I met a couple of good ole' boys from Alabama. Brothers, Daniel and Chris, they had the deep south accents that would make Larry the Cable Guy, weep. They too are traveling across the country. But they have been at it for weeks. They are taking a week in southern Utah to see all of the parks. They said its one of the best places in the country so far. I don't doubt it. But we sat and talked and they drank from their tall cans and told me stauries 'bout tha tiime when dey was so druunk, one fell of a bluff foa forty feet, and they were like "shoot, I don't even caire." And den when dey got uup, they were surrounded by a bunch of coyotes.

They also told me a story about how Hank William Sr. wrote the song "Mansion on a Hill" about their grandmother.... supposedly. They love their country twangy and their rock music loud and proud..... My kind of boys.

I couldn't have laughed harder at their stories, they were the funniest guys, and they had no idea of it.We talked the whole night and I had seriously felt like I made friends with the Dukes of Hazard.

After that I went to bed where I began to think in my head with a deepsouth accent. I noticed that the stars NEVER seemed this bright before or this close. It was really beautiful and peaceful as I whistled the old star trek theme and dreamed about boldly going where no man has gone before. Or at least I haven't gone before.

Thats Alll I got fuh noaw. See y'all later

Scripture of the day: 3rd Nephi 12:16Therefore, let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Day 1 Ely NV song: Like a Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan

2009-04-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

Pat and Tom on 105.1 gave me a little send off to the journey on the Air waves. They spoke lightheartedly about what is to come but wished me good luck. They helped promote my blog and Pat gave me a contact for an interview in Ohio. Off to a good start.

ON the first day of finding out exactly how it feels to be on your own like a rollingstone. I traveled for about eight hours driving on highway fifty, the lonliest highway. I really have a good understanding in why they call it that. There is NOBODY for hundreds of miles, if there is somebody its on an old mining town now a gambling and watering hole town.

Just exactly when I had that moment on the highway where I asked myself "what did I talk myself into," I made aquaintances with Bob and Susan.

I was at a rest stop a thousand miles from nowhere (Dwight Yoakum) where this old couple, (late 70's early 80's) stopped by and we began talking. They were a retired couple who spends most of their days traveling on the road. They love Highway fifty. They say its the most underated highway in the U.S. They have been everywhere that I plan on going on the trip TIMES 2. They love the road. They love all the geological sites along the way. We had a good conversation where they told me all the stops to hit. I like Bob and Susan, they were an older couple who in someways had that youthful love thing going. I almost thought it was there anniversery by their demeanor. After that I began to relish the trip.

I pulled into ELY around 7:30 with almost no daylight left. As fun as all the seedy casino's and gentlemens club appeared, I wasn't in the mood to check out the night life of Ely. I decided to head right to the campground.It was just then I realized, I had never camped on my own before. I have never honestly put a tent up by my self...... I know what you are thinking, "he can't put up a tent? What a loser."...but my family was never into camping, so you can just BACK THE HECK OFF!!! I was too cool for scouts... But anywho, I did such a sloppy job in the dark putting up a tent that the whole night I completely expected it to collapse on me. It was very crooked and leaning. It didn't fall, but somewhere at six a.m. I heard light animal steps stepping around my slightly deflated and lopsided tent. I clutched my Louisville Slugger tightly waiting to defend myself, when I opened the tent flap with all my adrenaline pumping, ready to kick some cougar @%& I was greeted by two little bunny rabbits. Just poking their nose up and down. They weren't even scared bunny rabbits, they gave me a look that said with a New York ganster brooklyn accent "What duh yah think yoo gonna do about it?"

The town of Ely has got some cool museums which I already checked out, and I met some nice cowboys and fisherman.

The locals here are really into a business chain called "Smoke Shop". I haven't checked out what they are all about. But on an unrelated note, someone needs to remind me to get a good dental plan when I get me a job.

(scripture of the day 1st Peter 1:7)

The Mission

2009-04-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

My name is Randy Cliff Peterson, I am recent college graduate from BYU-Idaho, with a bachelors in Communications (broadcasting) searching for a career during a time of Economic crisis. Broadcasting being cut-throat enough as it is, seems that it is going to be a challenge bigger than most anyone can handle in terms of finding my first professional full time job. I however, am not going to give up and quit. I will not go gently into the night as I sit in my parents house and work at fast food as I await the for the economic situation to disappear and get an e-mail of someone interested in my work.

So I am traveling across the United states for forty days searching employment. I am bringing a map of every town I have ever wanted to see and a list of radio and T.V. stations that I have applied to and I want to get a chance to be interviewed and critiqued. I have business cards, resume's and demo reels to hand out to anyone interested in giving me a chance.

I am also writing a book on the experience. I am journaling this travel in order document and learn from the experience in hopes that it might help someone else.

The Current working title is called, "A Letter to Bob Dylan." This is because I intend to answer the question he asks by telling him EXACTLY how it feels to be on my own, with no direction home, like a complete unknown, like a Rolling Stone.

During this time will be a mission of personal reflection and growth as I see the U.S. and as I visit the historical sites. Many of them music oriented much like in Memphis, New York, Kansas City, Austin, Nashville, Cleveland etc.

Along with my search for meaning and a career, I will be visiting museums and pieces of historical landmarks across the nation. I will be analyzing the countries history and its reflection on humanity while I am out there. I will have an agenda for everyday and I will have to panhandle with my guitar and an array of Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan tunes to finance the journey. I will be camping out at most towns and I will be meeting as many people as possible and hoping to make friends.

I don't have a back-up plan and I don't know what I would call successful, the only thing I expect is that it will not go exactly as planned, in fact, I hope it doesn't. I am excited to see the U.S. and terrified as well. But as a bachelor with no responsibilities, this may be the one and only chance I ever get to do this. I look forward to sharing my stories on this blog.

Randy Cliff Peterson